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Old 03-10-2013, 10:33 AM
 
41 posts, read 239,116 times
Reputation: 32

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Hi,

my ex (28) and I (25) broke up a month ago. We lived together although we were together for only 6 months . Web moved in together after a month of relationship, which today I consider as things going way too fast. That was the main problem of our relationship. Everything happened superfast and there was a lack of communication. So after a few months we started fighting and the problems got bigger. So in the end he broke up a month ago and I directly moved out.

Ever since we're in Whatsapp contact every single day. We basically text each other all the time. I know he doesn't have anyone else and I also don't have anyone else, I still only love him and want him back. So we're texting all day- I first wanted to ignore him, but he kept contacting me. We talk about easy things in life, our day etc. Ever since we broke up we met twice. The first time was really nice, we had lunch and a walk in a park, it was wonderful. The second time we had lunch- and then he kissed me. And then we slept with each other. But apparently this confused him a lot. We're still texting every day, but he didn't ask me anymore to meet up. Yesterday then he told me that at the moment he doesn't feel 'mentally ready' to meet me. That he thinks all the time about me, day and night, thinking about what I am doing, if I have somebody else etc.
He says it hurts a lot to think so much about me and it shouldn't affect him anymore what I do, but it does. He says that's why at the moment he doesn't feel ready to meet me because of his feelings for me. He says he has to get over it and seeing me doesn't help.

So, why does he have to get over it? I still lovbe him, he still loves me. I know where our problems were. Now I have my own apartment and we could start over again, working on our problems, taking things slowly. Instead, he wants to get over me despite all his feelings. What should I do now?
Do you guys think I still have a chance to get him back or should I let him go?
If I knew he didn't love me anymore or so I would let him go and move out. But knowing we both still have feelings for each other and knowing where our problems were make me want him back so badly. I don't know what to do. Please give me some advice!

Thanks
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Old 03-10-2013, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,669,385 times
Reputation: 24104
If I were you, I would not be available every time he sends you a text, or calls. It sounds like he has got you hanging in limbo for him, and thats not fair to you.
If he says that he loves you, then I don`t see why he is not trying to work things out with you.
I would let him know how you feel, but I would also tell him that you are going to get on with your life.
You can`t wait around forever on what is best for him! Besides, maybe if you tell him that you are going to stop all contact, that he will either sh*t or get off the pot! Good luck!!
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Old 03-10-2013, 10:48 AM
 
1,523 posts, read 1,954,478 times
Reputation: 2662
Get over him as well. He is treating you like a yo-yo. Why would you want to be with someone who is so conflicted?

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Old 03-10-2013, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Atlanta & NYC
6,616 posts, read 13,833,652 times
Reputation: 6664
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Old 03-10-2013, 10:52 AM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,073,381 times
Reputation: 12818
Why are you so available to him?

If he REALLY wanted to be with you again, he would. Right now he's just passing the time with you, until he finds someone better. Once that happens he won't be confessing how much he misses you...he will drop you like a hot potato.

You broke up, move on.
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Old 03-10-2013, 10:59 AM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,251,824 times
Reputation: 62669
I don't see where you have learned anything from your experience with him when it comes to the "moving too fast" issue. Ignore his texts, tell him not to contact you, MOVE ON. He broke up with you and it is obvious to many others that he is still hanging on to you to keep you away from others until HE decides HE is ready to move on. DO NOT allow him to control your life like this.
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Old 03-10-2013, 11:01 AM
 
41 posts, read 239,116 times
Reputation: 32
Well I know he's not looking for anyone at the moment. We have common friends and I always know what he does. He's not the bartype or going out type, so all he does at the moment is hanging out with a few friends, being alone and being with his family a lot.

I don't know, I guess I'm scared when I cut all contact with him I will make it more easy for him to get over me. I'm thinking that it might be better to stay present, stay present in his mind and to fight a little bit. He's a really stubborn personality, he just seems to think he HAS to get over me and ignore all his feelings.
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Old 03-10-2013, 11:03 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,048 posts, read 18,310,364 times
Reputation: 37125
Quote:
Originally Posted by saphiry View Post
Well I know he's not looking for anyone at the moment. We have common friends and I always know what he does. He's not the bartype or going out type, so all he does at the moment is hanging out with a few friends, being alone and being with his family a lot.

I don't know, I guess I'm scared when I cut all contact with him I will make it more easy for him to get over me. I'm thinking that it might be better to stay present, stay present in his mind and to fight a little bit. He's a really stubborn personality, he just seems to think he HAS to get over me and ignore all his feelings.
Why delay the inevitable???!!! Time/life is short. Move on quickly!!
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Old 03-10-2013, 11:32 AM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,073,381 times
Reputation: 12818
Quote:
Originally Posted by saphiry View Post
Well I know he's not looking for anyone at the moment. We have common friends and I always know what he does. He's not the bartype or going out type, so all he does at the moment is hanging out with a few friends, being alone and being with his family a lot.

I don't know, I guess I'm scared when I cut all contact with him I will make it more easy for him to get over me. I'm thinking that it might be better to stay present, stay present in his mind and to fight a little bit. He's a really stubborn personality, he just seems to think he HAS to get over me and ignore all his feelings.

So, let him get over you. You all broke up for a reason. Why would you want to be with someone who didn't TRULY want to be with you?? Find someone that wants YOU...not someone that is around just because they pity you.
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Old 03-10-2013, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Davenport, Iowa
2,472 posts, read 4,214,431 times
Reputation: 3432
Good relationships need to be two way streets. It sounds like you care for him more than he cares for you. I'd suggest to move on and find someone who reciprocates those feelings.
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