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I was surprised to see this thread reincarnated and show up in my e-mail box. I re-read over this thread and like when you hear a certain song on the radio, it was a trip back in time.
I did end up getting divorced. It's been over two years now. Js44, you didn't just get married did you?? Haha. I ask because my ex-wife actually just got re-married a few months ago.
I know a lot of what you're feeling, perhaps we can start a support group. If you truly have a perfect marriage, I would do what you can to try and accomodate your wife. In retrospect, I regret getting divorced now. Who knows if things could have been different, but I regret not exploring even more exotic allergy treatments (kinesiology/NAET, accupuncture, etc.). I don't know how old you are, but I'm out in the dating pool now, I haven't met anyone with whom I have a connection remotely similar to that which I had with my ex-wife and nearly everyone has pets. Single women over 30 almost always have pets and it's currently very en vogue to treat pets like spoiled children.
People are usually either very "pet people" or they aren't (I've met a couple, but not many aren'ts). I haven't met very many women in between. I don't know the answer, I wish I could cast a spell on you and suddenly make you love your wife's cats the same way she does. Everyone's situation is different, but if I could go back in time, I would have gone to great lengths to keep my marriage together. If I was in your shoes, I might try counseling or even something crazy like hypnosis.
Best of luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Js44
I am dealing with the same thing, except I'm not allergic to my wife's cats. I didn't think it would be a problem that she had cats. I had owned several cats and considered myself a cat person. Only, my cats were outdoor cats, not indoors. Big difference. Her cats didn't bother me much at first. But after awhile, say 3 months, they started to really grate on my nerves. One throws up all over the house and the other one meows incessantly. Both shed ridiculously. Which is a big problem since I do all of the cleaning. I get furious every time I clean up all the fur all over everything. The one cat is very possessive of her and constantly demands her attention. We can't even have a conversation without the cat interrupting. This is the only thing we have ever fought over. Other than this, we have a perfect marriage. I'm not asking her to get rid of them, although I'd love to. All I'm asking is that she move them to our finished basement and out of the main part of the house. Then all the hair and meowing would be contained- far away from me. It's quite nice and comfortable down there, so her going down to visit with them would not be an issue. She just wants them up here with us, because "she loves them." I truly feel that she loves them more than she does me. If I owned animals that made her as miserable as hers make me, and if they were causing trouble in our marriage, I wouldn't hesitate to move them to the basement.
yes, plus: a great relationship should survive the pet issue.
I am a pet lover, had cats and dogs and treated them like family members: but if my partner is allergic, I would try to accomodate his needs. Pets only outside. Or move where they can be outside. Once they die out - no more.
IF you love somebody, there should be room for negotiations. Putting a pet over a spouse = ridiculous.
Doesn't mean you have to dump them at the shelter. Find a different solution.
Last edited by oh-eve; 08-21-2015 at 02:06 PM..
Reason: misspelling
I always choosed animals over men and if something would happend I would let my husband go. That is because he is able to take care of himself but animals are helpless and their life depends of me.
I always choosed animals over men and if something would happend I would let my husband go. That is because he is able to take care of himself but animals are helpless and their life depends of me.
That's ridiculous and selfish.
Adopt out your pet. They are not dependent on YOU and ONLY YOU... they might be dependent on a human of some kind, but not YOU.
I always choosed animals over men and if something would happend I would let my husband go. That is because he is able to take care of himself but animals are helpless and their life depends of me.
I'm sure the ol' hubby would be quite stoked to hear this information.
I can't imagine choosing pets over people, but that's just me. Don't get me wrong, I was heartbroken when I had to give up my chickens (now that's a tough creature to re-home, never mind half a dozen of them), but that's the way it goes. I'm sure they got over me a lot quicker I'd like to think.
I can't imagine choosing pets over people, but that's just me. Don't get me wrong, I was heartbroken when I had to give up my chickens (now that's a tough creature to re-home, never mind half a dozen of them), but that's the way it goes. I'm sure they got over me a lot quicker I'd like to think.
I feel very blessed that my husband is not allergic to my cat and ended up loving my cat as much as I do. And I think the cat loves him more than me.
but in terms of the original OP, sorry for your divorce but it is crazy when old threads get updated and the person can still chime in.
And to the dude that resurrected a thread, learn to love the cats. Pet them, play with them, give them treats, make sure their energy is worked out, if they have anxiety issues and keep meowing see a vet about it.... you need to bond with them and think of them as your cats, too. You're not allergic to them so its not like the OP's situation where there isn't much he could do!
Noooo!! Seriously, once you've spent the first couple of months wiping their butts for them (literally. google "pasting up"), watching them start to lay eggs, having them follow you all over the yard and squawk with joy every time they see you (they hated every human being except me)... you get attached. Okay, I think I need to go mourn now.
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