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This thread is really ticking me off. You can tell all the people who SAY they love animals but would get rid of them in a heartbeat, are not the level of "animal lover" as the OP's wife, or a lot of other people. It's interesting that we're talking about a cat here - there are a LOT of cat haters, I've noticed, so the responses are pretty harsh. When you are actually on the level of having that love for your pet, THEN maybe you all can have some perspective from the wife's side (which, btw, we don't actually have).
The wife has made HUGE compromises...as has the OP. But to say she's a "crazy cat lady" just tells me how hateful many of you are. Dump her? Flame her on a stick? Really, is that necessary? They both made adjustments and it's resentment on both sides that needs to be mended.
I don't think many of you understand just how hard it is not to even have the cat (s) in the house, let alone the bedroom. Some of you are saying it's an "either/or" situation...she MUST be putting the pets needs over the husbands. I didn't read that at all. He's annoyed that she does little things for them that make them more comfortable, but she's doing the same for him. He's decided that this is now intolerable...he posted that with his new meds, he was able to hang with kitty without much pain. This is a good start...
My problem is that they both went into a situation knowing all the factors, with maybe not knowing the severity. But asking a person (especially a vet) to give up her animals would be like asking her to cut off her arm. You people who don't understand that thinks she's an awful witch...but she's not. She's trying to accomodate her husband, too, without ripping off her own arm. I'm sure she loves him very much and her marriage IS important, but it's an impossible choice she never thought she'd have to make.
I think they need to talk it out - maybe come up with new and/or different compromises that work for BOTH of them. They need to start to eliminate the resentment...and all of us need to stop with the name calling.
Oh, and for those of you who have never owned a pet but say they like animals well enough, you just don't know what you're talking about when stating that you'd take the human over the animal anyday. Until you know, firsthand, you shouldn't be making ridiculous comments. Every pet owner makes daily compromises for their animal because they LOVE THEM...and you might take note that these same people make huge compromises for their human counterparts. One would think thats an excellent quality to have...you know, because humans are way more faulty than animals.
I love cats. I love how they are independent and can be left alone. And I've owned plenty. Dogs, not so much. But to sit here and suggest one should chose an animal over a person is perposterous and to me translates to an underlying psychological issue. What kind of person choses an animal over someone they care about? And where does it end? snake? Goldfish? TV? Humans are faulty, but to love an animal more than a human would suggest an psychological problem, probably fear of getting hurt or being wronged. Maybe abuse as a child.
I love cats. I love how they are independent and can be left alone. And I've owned plenty. Dogs, not so much. But to sit here and suggest one should chose an animal over a person is perposterous and to me translates to an underlying psychological issue. What kind of person choses an animal over someone they care about? And where does it end? snake? Goldfish? TV? Humans are faulty, but to love an animal more than a human would suggest an psychological problem, probably fear of getting hurt or being wronged. Maybe abuse as a child.
I'm NOT suggesting someone choose an animal over a person - I'm saying that when someone cares deeply for their animal, it's a very difficult choice to decide to give it up. I'm saying that THEY KNEW BEFOREHAND...I'm not saying every situation, every animal, every person.
You can translate however you like and say that I've suffered child abuse (laughable, but ok) just because I love my animals very much. I've NEVER been placed in a situation where I would have to make that choice. The OP is in a difficult situation...I was trying to shed some light on what the wife might be feeling...an impossible choice and an unfair one. However, it is THEIR resentment for each other that make that choice easier for her. You all want to crucify her, saying she puts the animals above her husband. I'm saying I don't think this is the case. Read into whatever you like, but you're mistaken about your diagnosis on me. It really isn't about putting the animal over the human's needs... it's about knowing your partner and then having to make extraordinarily difficult choices.
I had to give up my dog Benson to keep my live in GF and then 3 months later she left me. Dam do I miss Benson I should have choose him missing her not so much.
Thinking of this whole thingy now on my dating profiles (when they were up) I even put that I have a cat so if you weren't a cat person then don't contact me. There's NO negotiating when it comes to my brat cat.
Thinking of this whole thingy now on my dating profiles (when they were up) I even put that I have a cat so if you weren't a cat person then don't contact me. There's NO negotiating when it comes to my brat cat.
Am I crazy? Do I need to just suck it up and do a better job of tolerating my wife's pets?
You are not crazy, she has a disease. Don't suck it up, leave. I don't know the name of the disease she has, but it won't get better. You have my sympathy.
The OP didn't know about the herd of cats prior to marriage, had no idea that pets were that important to her......????
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