Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Sounds like you have a boyfriend and not a life long mate material. You know you can Love someone and still not be compatible with them.
Actually, most people are not compatible with their life long mate, because the selection and courting process is almost always dominated by attraction and not long term compatibility.
There's always that possibility. Guess I'll just have to find out as time progresses.
There's always that possibility. Guess I'll just have to find out as time progresses.
Most people will gravitate to the best they can do with mate selection, unless they commit early and stay together for no good reason other than convenience. If he fits those criteria (Best that you can get) then you are as successful as you can hope to be
my honeymoon never really happended. we have been married for almost 2 years. In 2012 my husband had a stroke and then march 2013 he had another stroke. 2 stokes plus problems with ED equals no honeymoon. i love him but it is a differnt kind of love now
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,078 posts, read 15,080,865 times
Reputation: 3937
Quote:
Originally Posted by Royalite
I love my mate. Out of every guy i've given the chance to be with me just because they were nice and I figured we had similar interests on some level, he's the only guy I've ever said yes to, saw real relationship potential, and wanted. But he's completely different from any other guy I've ever dated or been attracted to. In my head, he wouldn't even be my type. But somehow he is and he makes me really happy.
But he sucks at prioritization and time management. I'm someone who is pretty good at laying out my priorities and getting things done. I'm pretty decisive, I like feeling productive, waking up early, and getting my work done sooner than later and that upsets me about him because he doesn't plan and sometimes what could've been valuable "us" time gets pushed to the side because of his poor planning skills. For example, there are nights when he can't call me because he ended up having to pull an all-nighter to study. When had he done it earlier and not been playing online games with his study buddy we would've had more "us" time. I know this because he invited me to come study with him and his friend and I saw where the 6 hrs of study time went.
Being able to see that took me out of the honeymoon phase and I'm seeing him for who he is as a person and I'm beginning to realize that my relationship is a REAL relationship and not some thing I dream about when I close my eyes or fantasize about when I see all the pictures of happy couples on the wall or on fb. I'm actually seeing a man who poops and farts and wakes up late and doesn't always do the right thing and makes mistakes and can actually make me angry and disappointed and hurt. This isn't our first time together and he has hurt my feelings before, but I'm starting to really realize that he could hurt me again and that formulas don't always work and...I'm getting hit with a lot of reality.
I still enjoy him though.
When did you realize the honeymoon phase was over?
with my first wife I can pinpoint it to the millisecond when I knew the honeymoon was over...I went to work at 18 and got my own place in preparation for marrying my high school sweetheart..a year later she graduated and we were married...we had a great week long honeymoon and the first night back we had gotten home late and went straight to bed..next morning I was out the door by 6am and worked a 10 hour day...came home from work that night to a great supper and as soon as I was done eating I kissed her and said "I'm going to a buddy of mine's garage to drink a beer and paint the hood on his truck and will see you later...I did this out of complete ignorance and truly saw no harm in it whatsoever..we had a fight from hell over that and she cried herself to sleep that night and I cried myself to sleep for the next 10 years til I was finally able to leave
Some people in this thread have a pragmatic approach .
For those of us who have a defined, head-over-heels honeymoon phase, it may not even be possible to assess actual compatibility until that phase is over. You gotta wait until your brain chemistry gets back into the normal range .
So, maybe now is the time to start. Just because that initial neurotransmitter rush is over doesn't mean you two are incompatible. Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. You could start having a series of conversations about what you each want out of life, what directions you want to grow in, stuff like that.
In my last relationship, which lasted five years, I didn't have a honeymoon period/the honeymoon period lasted the whole time. However you put it, my feelings always stayed the same. Can't say the same for my ex, obviously, since he's my ex, and I'm not sure when his feelings changed. In my current relationship, it's been four months, and feelings are as strong as week one.
I feel like most people consider honeymoon periods to be infatuation/butterfly fluttery stuff. Real life is contentedness with stuff that still does the fluttery thing interspersed. People who expect every day of a relationship that spans years to feel like the high of an awesome first date have an unrealistic view of emotions and of relationships. Probably also people who have unrealistic expectations of life in general and feel that if every minute isn't an endorphin rush, it's not happiness.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm actually seeing a man who poops and farts and wakes up late and doesn't always do the right thing and makes mistakes and can actually make me angry and disappointed and hurt. This isn't our first time together and he has hurt my feelings before, but I'm starting to really realize that he could hurt me again and that formulas don't always work and...I'm getting hit with a lot of reality. 
.
