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Ok, in a perfect world, no one would be rejected. But if it happens, do you prefer the slow fade, someone just not responding to texts, someone who just keeps saying no to your date invitations or what? Or the "I'm seeing someone else"? What was your most pleasant rejection experience? (Is that even possible lol)
Quickly, like in our first interaction, and very black or white (I don't mind what the reason given is or if there's one given at all). None of this we can still be friends business.
"Sorry, this isnt going to work for me. Good luck with everything."
Maybe offer to be friends if there is genuine interest in that.
Of course, this almost never happens.
Asking adults to have adult conversations is not realsitic. Especially with text messages, email, etc.
At the end of the day, if there isn't interest from one side, most of the time the non-interested party doesnt care enough to reject someone with compassion.
The fade out, or ghosting has become the popular method of choice IME. No one wants to be held accountable anymore. God forbid a guy be upset that he invested time, money, and energy into entertaining someone, only to find out she isn't interested in him that way.
I think if women paid their way, and didnt expect as much from guys early on, the rejection would he easier to handle. But, dates, planning, restaurants, fun activities cost money and energy, and very seldom do women take a man out, especially early on.
So women say, "but guys get mad when I dump them." Well, they get mad and frustrated cause they just busted their butt trying to entertain you, and it wsnt good enough.
Next time, if you are thinking you may not be jnterested in a guy romantically, but give it one last shot, then, take the guy out the last time, AND pay.
I gaurantee he will appriciate the effort, and that you disnt just use him for a few meals or whatever. Most guys anyway.
It should be like ripping off a band-aid. Just get it done in one quick swoop. Pulling back slowly just stretches out the pain. Once the rejection is done we can talk about the why if needed. But that's just me.
I agree with the method of being upfront & to the point. If it just isn't working, say so. Fade out or becoming non-responsive really makes me mad. We're all adults, act like one.
I prefer quick and simple whether I'm being rejected or doing the rejection, just like AverageGuy said above. No excuses, no lame reasons needed - unless there is actual, honest feedback on something I can actually change or improve about myself that may be useful in the future.
I have no respect for cowards who just fail to respond and leave things hanging, though sometimes they will come back weeks later, it seems. By then, I'll have moved on.
"Sorry, this isnt going to work for me. Good luck with everything."
Maybe offer to be friends if there is genuine interest in that.
Of course, this almost never happens.
Asking adults to have adult conversations is not realsitic. Especially with text messages, email, etc.
At the end of the day, if there isn't interest from one side, most of the time the non-interested party doesnt care enough to reject someone with compassion.
The fade out, or ghosting has become the popular method of choice IME. No one wants to be held accountable anymore. God forbid a guy be upset that he invested time, money, and energy into entertaining someone, only to find out she isn't interested in him that way.
I think if women paid their way, and didnt expect as much from guys early on, the rejection would he easier to handle. But, dates, planning, restaurants, fun activities cost money and energy, and very seldom do women take a man out, especially early on.
So women say, "but guys get mad when I dump them." Well, they get mad and frustrated cause they just busted their butt trying to entertain you, and it wsnt good enough.
Next time, if you are thinking you may not be jnterested in a guy romantically, but give it one last shot, then, take the guy out the last time, AND pay.
I gaurantee he will appriciate the effort, and that you disnt just use him for a few meals or whatever. Most guys anyway.
I agree. it's the effort of having to do all the planning while she expects to just get woo'd. Then, in the end, she's not even interested to begin with. Yet, she'll chase for the guy who wants to plan nothing and trip over every other girl chasing after him.
For rejection, I rather just hear it straight. I'm not interested in a relationship, but we can still be friends. By friends, I truly do mean be friends. Talk here and there and do activities together. What's the point of saying lets be friends if you aren't going to put any effort into building a friendship.
I agree with the method of being upfront & to the point. If it just isn't working, say so. Fade out or becoming non-responsive really makes me mad. We're all adults, act like one.
Well said.
No one likes abject pusillanimity!
Last edited by picklejuice; 03-22-2013 at 10:22 AM..
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