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Old 03-12-2013, 04:35 PM
 
103 posts, read 224,027 times
Reputation: 94

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Last Summer, the Realtor (that sold my house) and I became friendly ... I guess pseudo friends. There seemed to be some mutual interest, but nothing came of it. We kept in touch via Facebook .... mainly me contacting him .... just a few times

Recently (I posted about it on here) I texted him to see if he wanted to go out with some friends and I (be nice to catch up). He wasnt able to but we made dinner plans instead. I do have a bit of a crush on him but Ive convinced myslef that he wasnt interested.

The thing is (and I posted on here about it) it seemed like a date ... which had me being super embarrassed (and loooking down most of the time as hes a "look you in the eyes" kinda person.) Not to say we didnt have a good time - we did. We talked for hours, laughed, he complemented me ... He also insisted on paying. It felt like a date.

I sorta messed thigns up outside the restraunt too ... He said "oh we're down here" pointing at his car, but I said ... "Oh no this is me ..." and there it sorta ended.

So Im recently divorced (he did ask about that too) ... and Ive never "dated" Guys just alwasy persued me and things just happened. Boyfriends came easy. So I dont know how dating works ... UGH

I thought well mabye he doesnt get that Im interested. So I took it upon myself to text him "food was good - great seeing you" type thing. He texted back mirroring what I said ... good food, ncie to see you, lets do it again.

I (cause really I can be so dumb) said "great ... Im usually down there a bit." In retrospect, I realized I probably should of replied with "Id like that when are you free?"

Well, anyway ... radio silence since then. I did text him once and say are you free (specific time) to which he replied back (an hour later) that he wasnt, the reason, and sorry. No request for something else. Generally hes a quick replier ... so I figured the extended wait time on the reply wasnt a good sign. So, I have gone silent too.

Since we were friendly last summer, hes on my facebook ... so I have to see his (sparse) updates etc ... its sorta unnerving. Its been like three weeks since our .... date?! .... I do live a bit away from him but no texts even.

Im trying to figure out if: hes not interseted or he thinks Im not (and thus staying away.)

He seemed interested when we went out. I say this because he teased me ... he challenged me a bit ... made sure I knew he remembered stuff Ive said/my believes ... made "we" statements ... we talked about a variety of things. It felt like interest ... Last summer, he introduced me to his friends too .... and would do things like lean down to talk to me ... remember my kids/friends names (and made sure I knew it) ... but that was so long ago.

He knows last summer I was interested ... but my behavior recently was definitly different than last summer....

Do I just stay away ... or do I try to reach out and try to straighten this out?
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Old 03-12-2013, 04:37 PM
 
28,900 posts, read 50,413,367 times
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Oh, good God. Why are you making this so hard? Why are you overthinking matters? You're 32, right? It's not 1913, right? Just call his ass up.
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Old 03-12-2013, 04:53 PM
 
103 posts, read 224,027 times
Reputation: 94
I guess Im concerned with lookign needy or annoying ... I go back to that book/movie ... if he was interested hed call ...
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:28 PM
 
28,900 posts, read 50,413,367 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cluelessat32 View Post
I guess Im concerned with lookign needy or annoying ... I go back to that book/movie ... if he was interested hed call ...
Again, overthinking. This is the 21st Century. Just pick up the phone.
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,943 posts, read 52,369,808 times
Reputation: 98359
I vote that he's not interested or else he would have made a strong attempt to connect with you.

So if you really really need closure, call him and ask him to do one more thing. If he says, "Sorry, busy," and makes no attempt to reschedule, let it go.

**Also, a real estate agent's business thrives on relationships and networking. They usually are VERY good at interpersonal communication and connections. They also typically follow up a big transaction with a celebratory lunch or dinner.

It honestly just sounds like he's really good at making you feel like a valued client.
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:44 PM
 
103 posts, read 224,027 times
Reputation: 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
I vote that he's not interested or else he would have made a strong attempt to connect with you.

So if you really really need closure, call him and ask him to do one more thing. If he says, "Sorry, busy," and makes no attempt to reschedule, let it go.

**Also, a real estate agent's business thrives on relationships and networking. They usually are VERY good at interpersonal communication and connections. They also typically follow up a big transaction with a celebratory lunch or dinner.

It honestly just sounds like he's really good at making you feel like a valued client.
While I can see that ... our interactions last summer were not typical of a realtor/client (ie late meetings, hanging out talking, hed go out of his way to help me (not related to the sale)) Also, this dinner happened 6 months after closing...
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,943 posts, read 52,369,808 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by cluelessat32 View Post
While I can see that ... our interactions last summer were not typical of a realtor/client (ie late meetings, hanging out talking, hed go out of his way to help me (not related to the sale)) Also, this dinner happened 6 months after closing...
This ^^ is all rationalizing.

Either contact him or don't. That's the only way you will know.
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:58 PM
 
103 posts, read 224,027 times
Reputation: 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
This ^^ is all rationalizing.

Either contact him or don't. That's the only way you will know.
While I appreciate your advice, Im not rationalizing. You made some statements about it being a celebatory dinner/doing his job/being personable. I was clarifiying.

I came here to find out wether or not to contact him, because I dont want to make an ass of myself ...

Im just looking for some opinions from others as to how they read the situation. Then Ill decide if I want to drop it or reach out to him.
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Old 03-12-2013, 07:05 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,943 posts, read 52,369,808 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by cluelessat32 View Post
While I appreciate your advice, Im not rationalizing. You made some statements about it being a celebatory dinner/doing his job/being personable. I was clarifiying.

I came here to find out wether or not to contact him, because I dont want to make an ass of myself ...

Im just looking for some opinions from others as to how they read the situation. Then Ill decide if I want to drop it or reach out to him.
My agent did all those things with me too. We were not into each other, though. Late nights, hanging out, drinks at the bar... it really can be part of the process.

You're looking for opinions on how to read the situation, and I've offered mine. I believe that if he were into you, he would have made contact by now.
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Old 03-12-2013, 07:09 PM
 
103 posts, read 224,027 times
Reputation: 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
My agent did all those things with me too. We were not into each other, though. Late nights, hanging out, drinks at the bar... it really can be part of the process.

You're looking for opinions on how to read the situation, and I've offered mine. I believe that if he were into you, he would have made contact by now.
Thank you .... I wonder did your agent tell you that you were beautiful? that they wanted to go out once the sale was complete? did they glance at your chest? Did you sit talking in his private office til 1am about everything but the sale? Trust me .... It was beyond Realtor/Client ... My Realtor for teh house I was buying teased me relentlessly about the fact he was going beyond a normal Realtor...
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