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To me, the difference is that a player "plays" people (duh, hence the name.) Each woman thinks she's exclusive, and she's the only one in his life. There's an element of deception involved that's more than just playing the field.
And this. It does hint at insincerity. And words, sweet talk often not matching actions. That's where it becomes negative. When people use words to mislead others.
Just continuing to point out that everyone appears to have their own definition of the word "player" with the only common denominator being, "person who is attractive to multiple partners." Whether it's secret, or involves lying, or is done to impress, etc., is really neither here nor there. Time to drop this silly word.
Listen, I've been in a non-monogamous relationship for years now. I can tell you, with some authority, that lying about having multiple partners is not "neither here nor there." On the contrary, being honest about your choice to be non-monogamous is the one thing that makes you a HNMD (Honest No-Monogamous Dude) versus a CPOS (Cheating Piece of S***).
Players are cowards. They know that if they are honest about their desire to be non-monogamous, many of the women they want will reject them. So they lie. Players are abusive con artists. They deserve thier bad name and frankly, deserve a lot worse than that in most cases. One "player" I grew up with had both his knees broken and one elbow with baseball bats by the brothers of a woman he passed and STD to. To bad they didn't aim for his head, in my opinion.
As other have mentioned, the definition of a player is too broad, vague, and varies depending on your perspective. But let me try to answer the question in a generic way.
Generally, for most of these type of guys my guess is that they reach a point where they have had a fairly healthy experience of women in varing quantity and quality. In other words, they may wake up one day and realize that for every hot piece of tail that may walk by them, they can recall a sexual encounter they had with a women with a similar figure, traits, or personality, which generates a smile of contentment that life has been good to them. So they have essentially have satisfied that carnal hunger pang without regret or desire of wanting more. Next, yes, their libido, sexual energy, physical stamina, and hot poker-ness begins to slow them down, but they know they still got it in reserve and can kick it in gear in case they need to strike when the fire is hot. And, they will test it from time to time to confirm and enjoy the nookie on the fly. Finally, if they are lucky, they found someone who meets their sexual, companionship, and partnership needs to enjoy the ride with for the remainder of their life. As one poster put it, players only play the game until they no longer have anything more to gain from it.
Its not just "players", I think all men have the potential to settle down and have great relationships if they find the right woman. "Players" are no different.
And another thing, I don't believe being a Player is some sort of an innate thing. What generally happens is players just tend to have far more options then the average man so they have a larger pool of woman to pick from and they use that to their advantage. The difference between the average "relationship guys" and the average "player" is options.
Its not just "players", I think all men have the potential to settle down and have great relationships if they find the right woman. "Players" are no different.
And another thing, I don't believe being a Player is some sort of an innate thing. What generally happens is players just tend to have far more options then the average man so they have a larger pool of woman to pick from and they use that to their advantage. The difference between the average "relationship guys" and the average "player" is options.
Somewhat agree but I don't think all men are wannabee players. I think many really do want to only be with one woman and not just because they don't have options or have been pressured.
One of my friends of 25 years has always been a rambunctious guy since we were 3 years old. When we were in high school he was always trying to get me to try weird stuff with my gf even though he was a virgin himself. Now my friend goes to college after a summer of losing his virginity and getting with several other girls as well before summers end. He comes back the next summer with tales that would make Charlie Sheen bat an eye. He continued this for years until he met Jane. She was amazing and she put him in his place when he got out of hand (he's very imposing and we thought it was cute). We all loved her and he appeared to as well. They had the cutest baby together and it was fun seeing him be such a great father to the boy. His first birthday is in couple of weeks and they are getting a divorce on account of him not only cheating, but claiming "he is in love" with another woman. I don't believe players change until they've learned a little humility. Unfortunately, I cannot give that to him right now.
Listen, I've been in a non-monogamous relationship for years now. I can tell you, with some authority, that lying about having multiple partners is not "neither here nor there."
Easy, North Sider. I do not at all mean that it doesn't matter if people lie or not. I would never say that. I was just saying that lying isn't the most common factor of the many definitions of the word "player" that are being tossed around here.
One "player" I grew up with had both his knees broken and one elbow with baseball bats by the brothers of a woman he passed and STD to. To bad they didn't aim for his head, in my opinion.
Sounds to me like his biggest mistake was hooking up with trash. Resorting to violence is extremely low class.
Sounds to me like his biggest mistake was hooking up with trash. Resorting to violence is extremely low class.
But passing an std to someone is classy? You have to be trolling.
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I do not at all mean that it doesn't matter if people lie or not. I would never say that. I was just saying that lying isn't the most common factor of the many definitions of the word "player" that are being tossed around here.
