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Someone else started a thread about what a "Real Man" might do. Considering how many women have mentioned a "REAL MAN" as one of the things they're looking for. I read the posts (It took a while) and got curious. Exactly what is it about a man that makes him "REAL"? If I give you an example, on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate him?
As a boy, there didn't seem to be anything special about Jim. He went into service and went through training, then got shipped overseas. After he got out, there were a couple of incidents that made him realize just how dangerous he could be.
In a bar, someone made a remark, and he had a smart come-back. The lights went out and he woke up in a hospital with restraints on. Two days later, he walked into that same bar. They were in the middle of remodelling and would not be open again for two weeks. After they opened, he stopped in a couple times and only had soft drinks. Anyone that came around him acted like they were walking on egg shells. He found out that they gave the bills for damages and doctor bills to the guy that broke the beer bottle over his head. A guy that was one of the ones taken to the hospital, some with pretty serious injuries. To this day, Jim has no memory of what he did after he got hit on the head. He still carries the scar from that beer bottle.
A few years ago, he was confronted by a man with a gun. The man will never pick up any gun or anything else with his right arm ever again. Virtually everything in the shoulder has been torn loose, except for the skin. When the police took the handcuffs off, they asked Jim why he didn't just kill the other guy. Not a question Jim can answer, even for himself. It would have been faster and easier. They also told him that the man with the gun was wanted for two different shootings where two police officers had been wounded.
He's spent years keeping a very short leash on his temper. He doesn't dare drink or use any kind of drugs because he doesn't dare ever lose control of himself. After more than 40 years, all his military training is still just below the surface. Loss of that control could mean someone gets hurt, and he's spent years learning to roll with the punches. But, these days, he's virtually never alone. Kids in the area stop by to hug him and call him "Grampa". Most, he doesn't know their last names, and some he doesn't even know their first names, but he's "Grampa". Young adults refer to him as Dad or Pops. And, there's always someone that wants to talk to him about their situations or ask him about subjects he knows about. Most ask his advice on how to fix something, but a few want to talk to him about GOD, among other things. Some will stop the car in his yard just to get out and give him a hug. Some have adopted him as a member of the family. He could probably walk into their homes without any fear of being shot, but, out of respect, he always waits until he's invited in. People his own age never cease to want to just talk to him. Some wave to him and call him by name, even though he has no idea how they know him. Just about everyone considers him to be one of the most mild-mannered, easy-to-get-along-with people on the face of the earth.
He rides a bicycle to keep in shape. At the VA clinic or hospital, the conversations center around medical conditions other vets are dealing with. He's not a member of the VFW or the American Legion because of the conversations about military actions others have been through. He doesn't feel he needs to carry anyone else's memories, and his own memories are not fit for anyone. He virtually never talks to anyone about it. The guys he served with still come back in his sleep to "check up on him", maybe a couple of nights a week. There are also a couple that he keeps in touch with on the internet, but the military actions are virtually never discussed.
You may consider Jim to be fictitious, and we'll give him an age of 60+. He's the main character in the novel I'm writing. I make up a complete profile of the main characters and follow that for their reactions to situations throughout the book. However, he is based on someone I do know,and the two incidents I put down here are real. They did happen.
So, how would you rate Jim as a real man for a relationship? 1 being someone to be kept at a good distance, and 10 being ideal.
Just to humor you and because I find this peculiar,
You never really got into what he's like besides being damaged from war, so I can't tell you. And you never mentioned his physical appearance. Your "story" is missing way too much for me to even paint a picture of this hypothetical human being.
Unless you want to see how opinions differ just for entertainment, never ask anyone else what a "real man" or "real woman" is. The answers will be all over the map.
No one's perfect and everyone deserves love. Of course Jim can have a relationship.
Alright, I'll run through the checklist of whether a man is "real" or not.
I will first recite the Three Laws of Robotics, and see if the individual can break any of those laws. If they are able to, they are real.
I will then administer the Voight-Kampff examination to see if they are a Replicant or a real human being.
I will then take the individual out for lunch, and see if they can properly eat and drink. If they cannot, than they are an artificial being.
Finally, I will ask a series of questions that are emotional-based. Think about Data from Star Trek, and his problems with emotions even with the modification chip installed in him.
I think that should more than determine of somebody is a "real" man or not.
Despite being fictional, if he's really a seething ball of anger just under the surface and he struggles every day to contain it, then I'd have to say "no thanks." Don't need that kind of drama.
Despite being fictional, if he's really a seething ball of anger just under the surface and he struggles every day to contain it, then I'd have to say "no thanks." Don't need that kind of drama.
He kind of sounds like the Incredible Hulk. Without green skin and super sized.
How awesome would that be?!
Just to humor you and because I find this peculiar,
You never really got into what he's like besides being damaged from war, so I can't tell you. And you never mentioned his physical appearance. Your "story" is missing way too much for me to even paint a picture of this hypothetical human being.
Okay....
He's generally taken for mid 40ish, rather than the 60 something. He doesn't see himself as anything special, but women have stated that he's very good looking, possibly a Robert Redford, without the age wrinkles. But darker hair, and his beard is almost white. He's 6 feet tall and weighs in at 190, so he's not fat and has had no serious medical issues. He's a bit stiff on the dance floor because of an old hip injury and that also means walking and standing are not big with him. He's a bit careful about the smart come-backs since the beer bottle, but he can tell jokes and enjoys seeing people laugh.
The whole point was, since I saw things in other threads about "real men" and abuse, this is a man that is very capable of physical violence. Perhaps to an extreme, yet he chooses not to allow that to surface except in an extreme situation. The control he exercises over himself may even be an over-compensation. The real Jim has been in a couple of relationships where he was seriously taken advantage of. I've heard a few women state that they would love to get into a relationship with him, but that seems to be a very serious challenge for any woman, due to his past experiences. So, abuse, or control of anyone other than himself, is a non-issue. From all appearances, he's just a good guy (some say nice guy) with a contagious smile.
So, since posters on other threads seem to have a connotation between "real men" and some form of abuse, without getting into looks, Where would you put Jim on the scale of real men.
Those of you that might remember seeing Captain Kangaroo... No matter what you may have thought about him on TV, keep in mind that during WWII, he earned the Medal of Honor. To me, he ranks very high as a real man. He was obviously very capable, but had no need to demonstrate any of that capability. And, neither does Jim.
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