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I can relate. Married a man when I was 28 and he was 51. People marry for all sorts of reasons, most of them subconscious, involving our base needs for both intimacy and security. I lost my parents when I was a teenager, so I've always been attracted to older men, father figures if you like. I was in love with my husband, I still am but at 28, you don't think about how age will effect you down the track, you don't really think about it, until you're finally confronted by the reality of the age difference. You certainly don't appreciate that the older you get the faster you age, so a 20 year age gap can look like a 40 year age gap and yeah, anyone who's tuned in to the way society feels about big age gaps, is going to feel embarrassed in public by their spouse. And yeah, the reality is, we're visual creatures and regardless of age differences, I'm sure there are plenty of couples out there who just don't find their partner attractive anymore because they've 'let themselves go'. I love my old man, but I'm not sexually attracted to him anymore and yes, I find being with him in public a challenge and I'm constantly having to say to myself, who gives a flying fck what anyone else thinks about it.
I can relate. Married a man when I was 28 and he was 51. People marry for all sorts of reasons, most of them subconscious, involving our base needs for both intimacy and security. I lost my parents when I was a teenager, so I've always been attracted to older men, father figures if you like. I was in love with my husband, I still am but at 28, you don't think about how age will effect you down the track, you don't really think about it, until you're finally confronted by the reality of the age difference. You certainly don't appreciate that the older you get the faster you age, so a 20 year age gap can look like a 40 year age gap and yeah, anyone who's tuned in to the way society feels about big age gaps, is going to feel embarrassed in public by their spouse. And yeah, the reality is, we're visual creatures and regardless of age differences, I'm sure there are plenty of couples out there who just don't find their partner attractive anymore because they've 'let themselves go'. I love my old man, but I'm not sexually attracted to him anymore and yes, I find being with him in public a challenge and I'm constantly having to say to myself, who gives a flying fck what anyone else thinks about it.
This very post is why I advocate against too big of an age gap........
Assuming this is true... this is the embodiment of what I and other talk about in terms of not being with a much older person.
I would die if my spouse thought the way about me the way you think about your spouse.
I've never been into much younger women than me, and for other reasons, and it works out for many..... I want her brain.. I want her knowledge, I want her to get the same references, I want her to understand our cultural sensibilities.....
This very post is why I advocate against too big of an age gap........
Assuming this is true... this is the embodiment of what I and other talk about in terms of not being with a much older person.
I would die if my spouse thought the way about me the way you think about your spouse.
I've never been into much younger women than me, and for other reasons, and it works out for many..... I want her brain.. I want her knowledge, I want her to get the same references, I want her to understand our cultural sensibilities.....
Agree totally. I've never dated women more than about 8 years younger than me. I've been dating a woman about three years younger than me for several weeks, and talked about a bunch of things from the Challenger explosion to what our first concerts were(me, Black Sabbath and Quiet Riot, her Rick Springfield) to how MTV actually used to be worth watching. These would not even resonate with most twenty-somethings.
Agree totally. I've never dated women more than about 8 years younger than me. I've been dating a woman about three years younger than me for several weeks, and talked about a bunch of things from the Challenger explosion to what our first concerts were(me, Black Sabbath and Quiet Riot, her Rick Springfield) to how MTV actually used to be worth watching. These would not even resonate with most twenty-somethings.
Exactly.... if your old enough to remember when MTV was actually relevant and showed vids.... that's the person I want.......that's what I'm talking about... someone much younger wouldn't really get that... and nothing wrong with it... I just don't want to have to explain things to someone... that's the good thing about someone closer to your own age.... they get "it"... what ever it may be.......
But if you're not attracted to him though, why did you marry him in the first place? I admit I'm just a lil confused here?
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