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Old 03-14-2013, 09:05 AM
 
Location: US
5,139 posts, read 12,716,319 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75 View Post
So basically what you are saying is it's ok for men to reveal their personal info but a woman shouldn't have to??
I expect of others what I expect of myself so no. If I felt too afraid to tell someone my last name I wouldn't bother with them at all. I also don't put my full name out there on social media sites of any kind and always have any information removed from those people search things.
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Old 03-14-2013, 09:17 AM
FBJ FBJ started this thread
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 59,037,300 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
I am a single (divorced) mom who works full time and does volunteer work. If I can find an hour of time to just meet and talk to someone, I think most people can meet within a week (or sooner). You don't need a full blown date just to meet someone. If a person is that busy that they can't find an hour sometimes in a week, I have to ask when do they think they are going to date?

I meet face to face after 7 to 10 days
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Old 03-14-2013, 09:21 AM
 
Location: US
5,139 posts, read 12,716,319 times
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You can always have video chat too.
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:10 AM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,806,407 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75 View Post
I meet face to face after 7 to 10 days
That's what I mean too. It's not to hard to meet someone face-to-face unless you are really busy. Times I take are lunchtime during the work day (assuming we work close enough to make it work), after work for an hour or so.. before I pick my child up from after school care. Or get a sitter for an hour or so on a weekend. I haven't done it yet, but another option is before work--but that might be a little crazy. I haven't met anyone yet who can't meet in a week or less during one of these times.

I know some people are very busy and have crazy schedules, but like I said, I can't imagine someone that busy would have time to really date and form a relationship. I know different people are different, but I guess that's just my prejudice.
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:18 AM
FBJ FBJ started this thread
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
That's what I mean too. It's not to hard to meet someone face-to-face unless you are really busy. Times I take are lunchtime during the work day (assuming we work close enough to make it work), after work for an hour or so.. before I pick my child up from after school care. Or get a sitter for an hour or so on a weekend. I haven't done it yet, but another option is before work--but that might be a little crazy. I haven't met anyone yet who can't meet in a week or less during one of these times.

I know some people are very busy and have crazy schedules, but like I said, I can't imagine someone that busy would have time to really date and form a relationship. I know different people are different, but I guess that's just my prejudice.

Whenever I start talking to someone I usually suggest a meeting the following weekend. For example I started talking to some woman on Tuesday and didn't plan on asking her out this weekend but plan to ask what she is doing on Saturday, march 23rd.
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:27 AM
 
864 posts, read 1,455,381 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
I get a last name before I meet someone for the first time. I *have* had some scary first date experiences, as well as other experiences meeting people online (ie. roommates from Craigslist) that necessitate me needing to do a little research to feel safe going on a date. I live in a city and 9 times out of 10, I'm taking public transit to the first date. I've had a person follow me home after I declined going to dinner with him. Had I had his full name before we met in person, I would have been able to find his blog where he had some very anti-woman posts and probably would never have gone on a first date in the first place.

I'm an open book - I like it when I see that a potential date has looked at my LinkedIn profile and a search of my name brings up my blog and some of my activism work. It's just protecting yourself and also creating a bit of a digital trail for if something bad does happen. I always send an email to myself with my date's full name and phone number, where we're going, and when I expect myself back. Paranoid? Sure. But if something happens, there's a trail.
My thoughts exactly! In this day and age, you have to be cautious, and always keep personal safety in mind.
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:35 AM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,806,407 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75 View Post
Whenever I start talking to someone I usually suggest a meeting the following weekend. For example I started talking to some woman on Tuesday and didn't plan on asking her out this weekend but plan to ask what she is doing on Saturday, march 23rd.
Gotcha... that sounds pretty reasonable to me. Sounds like you like to plan for a longer first meeting maybe and that's why. I just like to meet the person and see if he "clicks" before spending more time with him. I figure it's a good out for both of us. If he meets me and doesn't care for me, he doesn't waste his time and vice versa.
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Old 03-14-2013, 11:20 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,112,026 times
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I don't ask him for his last name - sometimes not even until a few dates in. I actually find it kind of creepy to research someone prior to meeting. I always meet in a public place and try to be as safe as I can. I'm not going to be paranoid that every guy I meet is going to kidnap me. Use common sense.
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Old 03-14-2013, 12:06 PM
FBJ FBJ started this thread
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I don't ask him for his last name - sometimes not even until a few dates in. I actually find it kind of creepy to research someone prior to meeting. I always meet in a public place and try to be as safe as I can. I'm not going to be paranoid that every guy I meet is going to kidnap me. Use common sense.

That's always been my issue, not allowing me to prove that I'm normal and not like the other weirdo's you met in the past. Atleast give me a chance to show you I'm not weird before you start doing background checks
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Old 03-14-2013, 12:12 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,806,407 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WestPhillyDude75 View Post
That's always been my issue, not allowing me to prove that I'm normal and not like the other weirdo's you met in the past. Atleast give me a chance to show you I'm not weird before you start doing background checks
The vast majority of men out there are complete normal, good guys. It's that very small (but very memorable) minority that ruin it for the rest of them. I just think of it this way, of all the men I've met, most are wonderful people. Among the few that were "odd" most were just kind of quirky and probably harmless. I only remember two being crazier than a bag of cats--and only one of those really gave me any trouble.

Assuming all men are crazies that want to hurt you is the equivalent of men assuming all women are gold diggers out to steal from them... at least, I would imagine it would be just as offensive.
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