Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Honestly lily?
I dare someone to run a search on me…I have nothing to be ashamed of…
Like you stated yourself..
I will be very honest with you…I wish I would have run a search sooner on one of the guys I dated for 4 months…
WOWZER..
I AM USUALLY the type that states “So long as you do not have a record and have abided by the law? We are straight!”
So with the above aforementioned? I began dating a guy who stated he was an electrician, he had a job as an “electrician?”
Yet he worked nights? I was willing to give benefit of doubt..
Until He stated to me that he wanted to look for a day time job because he went in at 4 am and got off at noon and he needed more work because he was wasting his “day”.
He did not have a laptop and I was at home and he called me to ask for my help filling out online apps…
When the background check questions came around? He stated he could not pass one? Due to him being A previous bartender and got into a fight with some guy trying to beat up a girl?
Then a pending court date he had with some brothers of a recent ex that for no reason showed up at his place to fight him?
Needless to say he showed crazy a few times during our relationship and I broke it off ( Nothing major just very controlling and insecure)
9 months later? I was curious and paid .99 for a profile?
Oh boy…
He had 2 domestic violence charges against him
He had multiple traffic violations as well as 2 dui’s in 3 different counties!
When I saw this? Made my stomach turn, I should have listened to my gut…
The reason the guy went to his home to beat his arse? Was because he was threatening their sister…
So no, sometimes it is best to check people out especially if you plan to be in a relationship with them..Shamed or not of their past? The other person involved deserves the DISTINCT right to know what they are walking into regardless and whether or not to stay with them…
I am sorry Dr. You have to go through this. It is horrible.
To me, the two dudes run a background check just to find out where I live!!!
HONESTLY, I always met my dates in public areas, I don't believe there will be any harm done to me or to them. Safety is never an issue for me, except for one time, somebody tried to follow me home. I have a fast car, and I am a good driver. I got rid of him pretty quickly. =) Turned out, he is not a bad person, he is just too curious and desperate for my taste.
If we met each other several times already, I would definitely NOT be offended if he asks for a background check. I would even offer my driver's license. Assuming at the time, we already know where each other live.
The bottom line for me is simply this, if the person runs a background check on me before even meeting me in person, I would have a HUGE problem with it.
I've always been brutally honest with all my potential dates. A. I don't want to give out address just yet B. Let's meet in public place, see how it goes.
***** This is my boundary and it ought to be respected, otherwise, deal breaker, I don't make any exceptions *****
If he doesn't respect my boundary, he really is not the good match for me.
I am sorry Dr. You have to go through this. It is horrible.
To me, the two dudes run a background check just to find out where I live!!!
HONESTLY, I always met my dates in public areas, I don't believe there will be any harm done to me or to them. Safety is never an issue for me, except for one time, somebody tried to follow me home. I have a fast car, and I am a good driver. I got rid of him pretty quickly. =) Turned out, he is not a bad person, he is just too curious and desperate for my taste.
If we met each other several times already, I would definitely NOT be offended if he asks for a background check. I would even offer my driver's license. Assuming at the time, we already know where each other live.
The bottom line for me is simply this, if the person runs a background check on me before even meeting me in person, I would have a HUGE problem with it.
I've always been brutally honest with all my potential dates. A. I don't want to give out address just yet B. Let's meet in public place, see how it goes.
***** This is my boundary and it ought to be respected, otherwise, deal breaker, I don't make any exceptions *****
If he doesn't respect my boundary, he really is not the good match for me.
This is where I draw the line.
Thanks…
But honestly…this is different than the usual reasons that backgrounds are run..
Your issue is borderline stalkers hun…this is no good…ever…
Now that you state this? Yes, respect and PERSONAL boundaries SHOULD most def. be adhered too..
The lady does not feel comfortable yet, man!!
I am against this type of stalking, because this is what it is…
... before they even met you. Would you be offended?
I personally have nothing to hide. But there are certain things I definitely feel uncomfortable sharing with others, at least not before first date. I did a quick google search on myself using my full name. My youtube channel showed up, the online memorial service website I created for my loved one who died by suicide showed up. My art gallery showed up.
The most disturbing thing is that if I pay $19.99,. My whole history will show up on the internet. Where I went to school, where I opened a bank account. Obviously, what I consider to be public record and what others believe to be public records are quite different. I want my privacy to be protected at least to certain degree!!!!
My questions are
A. If my potential date did a background check on me before meeting me in person, does it mean he was overly suspicious or he was just being careful.
B. If he doesn't trust me for whatever the reasons, why bother meeting me in person. Does privacy mean anything anymore or everybody just has to accept the fact that we are open books to everybody on the internet nowadays.
share insights and thoughts please
Why would you tell someone your full name before you met?
Maybe answered somewhere in this thread, but it's not really a question so I don't care.
... before they even met you. Would you be offended?
I personally have nothing to hide. But there are certain things I definitely feel uncomfortable sharing with others, at least not before first date. I did a quick google search on myself using my full name. My youtube channel showed up, the online memorial service website I created for my loved one who died by suicide showed up. My art gallery showed up.
The most disturbing thing is that if I pay $19.99,. My whole history will show up on the internet. Where I went to school, where I opened a bank account. Obviously, what I consider to be public record and what others believe to be public records are quite different. I want my privacy to be protected at least to certain degree!!!!
My questions are
A. If my potential date did a background check on me before meeting me in person, does it mean he was overly suspicious or he was just being careful.
B. If he doesn't trust me for whatever the reasons, why bother meeting me in person. Does privacy mean anything anymore or everybody just has to accept the fact that we are open books to everybody on the internet nowadays.
share insights and thoughts please
Running a background check on someone as a matter of course--i.e. in the absence of any specific reason for doing so--indicates a high level paranoia on the part of the person running the check. This is a person who sees enemies all around, who is deeply distrustful of people, who suspects random people of practicing deception for no good reason. I would give such a person a wide berth.
Running a background check on someone as a matter of course--i.e. in the absence of any specific reason for doing so--indicates a high level paranoia on the part of the person running the check. This is a person who sees enemies all around, who is deeply distrustful of people, who suspects random people of practicing deception for no good reason. I would give such a person a wide berth.
You've never given your address to anyone? Utility companies? Employer? Bank? Parents? Friends? Phone provider? A cab driver? Pizza delivery? I would find that very hard to believe.
Home addresses are generally considered public information, because we have to give them out to so many people in order to function in regular life. Once anyone has it, assume everyone who wants it has it. I'm not saying I like it, I'm just saying that's how it works.
I suppose you could use a P.O. Box for all your mail, never have anything delivered to your home, and never have any visitors, but that's no way to go through life, IMO.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am sorry Dr. You have to go through this. It is horrible.
I did a quick google search on myself using my full name. My youtube channel showed up, the online memorial service website I created for my loved one who died by suicide showed up. My art gallery showed up. 
