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Old 03-15-2013, 06:40 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,937 posts, read 10,561,684 times
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Workplace rules like this are invented by bosses for their own financial benefit. Since they do not follow this particular rule, it is for their own personal sexual benefit, as well.

Just don't make it obvious.
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Old 03-15-2013, 06:53 AM
 
28,900 posts, read 50,752,307 times
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Proceed with caution. The last thing you want this early in your career is the reputation of a guy who hits on co-workers. Start really slowly and let her call the shots.
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Old 03-15-2013, 08:13 AM
 
2,151 posts, read 3,147,514 times
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unless u know for a fact she is head over heels with u and it will last, i wouldnt do it
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Old 03-15-2013, 09:36 AM
 
567 posts, read 940,778 times
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I'm going to have to say I don't recommend this at all. I dated a co-worker(bosses daughter, but he didn't know) and things were great for a year and a half. But then she eventually cut it off. The next year was one of the worst years of my life. Being forced around someone you were in love with and formally dated was terrible. We were constantly arguing and it was just hard to work around her.
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Old 03-15-2013, 01:26 PM
 
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I'm not concerned about the impact on my job because I honestly don't plan on staying too much longer. I didn't get a chance to talk to her much today because I left early for a doctors appointment. Would it be awkward to just text her and ask if she wanted to get a drink sometime? I wouldn't want to ask her on work messenger as its probably not appropriate and I don't want to ask her in front of people and put her on the spot.


Thanks for the answers so far
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Old 03-15-2013, 03:05 PM
 
1,324 posts, read 1,884,693 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B.dot View Post
Would it be awkward to just text her and ask if she wanted to get a drink sometime? I wouldn't want to ask her on work messenger as its probably not appropriate and I don't want to ask her in front of people and put her on the spot.
Geez dude, we can't hold your hand through this process. And if you really don't have a clue or the ballz to do it on your own, you are going nowhere fast, like crashing and burning on even asking if she is interested in sharing a drink after work. Practice with some guys, maybe that will help.

Did you gain any confidence with women from being an your last 5-year relationship????
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Old 03-15-2013, 03:35 PM
 
85 posts, read 125,601 times
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Generally speaking this is a not a good idea but it is more common than one would think.

If your job is a place where you or her intend to have a long-term career and/or she works for you or you work for her then I would drop this completely.

But if not, and it sounds like this is the case, then I wouldn't give up pursuing her but you need to do it cautiously. Firstly, keep the flirtatous relationship alive and don't move in the friend zone. Secondly, don't ask her out on date but find ways to spend time with her to test the waters further. You will know if this girl likes you, you've been in a 5-year relationship so you have experience here! Why don't you start by asking her out to lunch instead, much more casual and it's definitely not a date?
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Old 03-15-2013, 03:49 PM
 
2,151 posts, read 3,147,514 times
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if u do it, do it when u think the conversation is going well.. if u do it out of the blue and cant tell whether she actually cares for u or not chances are she'll probably say no.
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Old 03-15-2013, 03:51 PM
 
2,151 posts, read 3,147,514 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phili80 View Post
Generally speaking this is a not a good idea but it is more common than one would think.

If your job is a place where you or her intend to have a long-term career and/or she works for you or you work for her then I would drop this completely.

But if not, and it sounds like this is the case, then I wouldn't give up pursuing her but you need to do it cautiously. Firstly, keep the flirtatous relationship alive and don't move in the friend zone. Secondly, don't ask her out on date but find ways to spend time with her to test the waters further. You will know if this girl likes you, you've been in a 5-year relationship so you have experience here! Why don't you start by asking her out to lunch instead, much more casual and it's definitely not a date?



sounds like a date to me
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Old 03-15-2013, 04:45 PM
 
4,176 posts, read 5,941,467 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B.dot View Post
I'm in my first "real" job out of college, and am interested in a coworker. She spends a good part of the day talking to me on work messenger about work and non-work related topics. When I first started I had a girlfriend and didn't really have any feelings towards it but now I am single and the past couple months I have become very attracted to her and have that "crush" feeling.

The problem is that i'm horrible at picking up signs on whether or not a girl is interested, so I can't tell if shes just very talkative to me, or if shes interested in me. She has been there about 1.5 years and I've been there just over 6 months. She has a lot of friends in the office, and I would assume she would vent to them or talk to them about her weekend and her upcoming plans instead of telling me, unless she is just trying to make conversation with me. She told me how she was single, then later said her friends wanted to send her on a blind date with some guy but she wasn't interested. Again, I don't know if shes just talkative, or if she is interested in me.

I want to ask this girl to go out sometime but I'm not sure if shes's even interested, and if she's not, do you think she will feel awkward? I know, don't dip your pen in company ink
Every situation is different, but there's a reason people advise against dating co-workers. I wouldn't recommend pursuing a romantic relationship while you and her are still at the same company.

You should continue to stay on good terms with this person and pursue a relationship after you leave the company.

I would caution against thinking your situation is unique or workplace romance is OK in your case. The rule is don't dip your pen in the company ink [WITH NO QUALIFIERS].
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