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Old 03-14-2013, 10:02 PM
 
4 posts, read 9,941 times
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I'm in my first "real" job out of college, and am interested in a coworker. She spends a good part of the day talking to me on work messenger about work and non-work related topics. When I first started I had a girlfriend and didn't really have any feelings towards it but now I am single and the past couple months I have become very attracted to her and have that "crush" feeling.

The problem is that i'm horrible at picking up signs on whether or not a girl is interested, so I can't tell if shes just very talkative to me, or if shes interested in me. She has been there about 1.5 years and I've been there just over 6 months. She has a lot of friends in the office, and I would assume she would vent to them or talk to them about her weekend and her upcoming plans instead of telling me, unless she is just trying to make conversation with me. She told me how she was single, then later said her friends wanted to send her on a blind date with some guy but she wasn't interested. Again, I don't know if shes just talkative, or if she is interested in me.

I want to ask this girl to go out sometime but I'm not sure if shes's even interested, and if she's not, do you think she will feel awkward? I know, don't dip your pen in company ink
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:08 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,759 posts, read 48,988,785 times
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It can be good or bad. When I did it everyone teased me at work. Lol
But remember if it ends badly it can be rough. Ask her point blank, "Hey! Wanna go out?" She stares at you....thinking....
You say, "Um it's just for lunch" watch her reactions. She makes too many excuses its a no go. She studders or laughs..she may like ya.
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:12 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
9,082 posts, read 11,321,356 times
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Don't poop where you eat.
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:18 PM
 
15,010 posts, read 19,784,639 times
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Ask her to happy hour.

But don't even bother if you don't have a strong feeling about her. Basically, if you just want to get laid but not really a relationship, or she's just the only girl around until you find someone better, don't do it. It will end badly and you'll have a bad rep at work.
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:20 PM
 
1,324 posts, read 1,870,758 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B.dot View Post
Again, I don't know if shes just talkative, or if she is interested in me.
dude, take a royal hint, she's interested, and she's probably just as clueless as you. how you handle it is a different question.

I'd begin by exploring it further with her at a nearby watering hole for happy hour. Then if it becomes too chummy or google eyed, do the "I'm not sure we should be doing this" routine. And by the way, I'm a believer in the don't poop where you eat rule, but keep us posted anyway for entertainment sake.
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:23 PM
 
15,010 posts, read 19,784,639 times
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Originally Posted by Dr. Clean View Post
Then if it becomes too chummy or google eyed, do the "I'm not sure we should be doing this" routine.
Why would he do that? Women don't like unconfident men.
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:26 PM
 
1,324 posts, read 1,870,758 times
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Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Why would he do that? Women don't like unconfident men.
well by that point he has already established his confidence by leading/exploring it to that point. the "we shouldn't be breaking the rules" sometimes tends to raise the sexual tension... but it's just a theory
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:28 PM
 
15,010 posts, read 19,784,639 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Clean View Post
well by that point he has already established his confidence by leading/exploring it to that point. the "we shouldn't be breaking the rules" sometimes tends to raise the sexual tension... but it's just a theory
It makes him seem unsure or perhaps not attracted to her.
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:36 PM
 
1,324 posts, read 1,870,758 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
It makes him seem unsure or perhaps not attracted to her.
okay, but we maybe getting ahead of ourselves here... lets see if you move it forward from office messenger to after hours one-on-one
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Salinas, CA
15,408 posts, read 5,515,793 times
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I personally do not mix work and romance with all of the workplace rules the last 20+ years. If this is a place you want to stay at for quite awhile, I would not ask her out. If you consider it a temporary workplace before moving on, do so but do NOT pressure her at all if you are initially rejected. I am for women's equality, but the workplace rules for romantic relationships with the opposite sex significantly favor women. Most women would agree with me, too.

Unless she is giving you a strong green light the entire time, I would avoid it. I am not trying to discourage you. Back in the 1980's, I would say "go for it". That was an entirely different situation. I asked a couple women out from work back then. Today...no way!
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