Could you have sexual relations with someone who turned physically ugly?

[Nala8]

I just got back into this thread, and I'm sorry I did. Makes me feel so sad that so many people feel this way. I am grateful for the few who seem to know that love goes far deeper than how a person looks.

My question is how would a person even know that their spouse would flip on them and get turned off if they were disfigured by a disease or accident?

[Kaye02]

Originally Posted by Nala8

I just got back into this thread, and I'm sorry I did. Makes me feel so sad that so many people feel this way. I am grateful for the few who seem to know that love goes far deeper than how a person looks.

My question is how would a person even know that their spouse would flip on them and get turned off if they were disfigured by a disease or accident?

Well, there's always asking them. But, if I looked like the "elephant man" I'm pretty sure my (hypothetical) husband would not be attracted to me anymore. Could he still love me? Absolutely, but I think it would change to a platonic love and not the type of love a lover feels for his/her SO. Personally, I couldn't remain with someone who didn't see me as their lover anymore.

[Mr Floyd]

Originally Posted by Nala8

I just got back into this thread, and I'm sorry I did. Makes me feel so sad that so many people feel this way. I am grateful for the few who seem to know that love goes far deeper than how a person looks.

My question is how would a person even know that their spouse would flip on them and get turned off if they were disfigured by a disease or accident?

Don't be sad. These are all real, and honest, opinions and I'm sure every scenario is different and warrants individual consideration. I think men are naturally shallow when it comes to appearance. I would venture to say that woman are somewhat that way also. It's a natural bias for the visual beings that we are, I suppose. As Kaye02 said (in so many words)...you may still love someone but the lust / lover part will probably be affected in a negative way.

[tamajane]

Originally Posted by Kaye02

I've thought about this before and decided...........If I were married and was really horribly disfigured, due to illness or an accident, in some way I think I'd just divorce my husband and let him move on, and then live alone. I think that would be better for both of us. Sexual attraction is a huge part of a romantic relationship, sorry but it is, if that's not there you might as well just be friends.

Some people can have something much more than "just friends" without it being sexual. It's a level of emotional connection that unfortunately too many people do not experience.