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Old 02-08-2014, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,391 posts, read 4,480,210 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkBunny View Post
How difficult do you think it would be to find a boyfriend who doesn't want children?
I suspect it would be incredibly easy. The number of men who don't want children seems to exceed the number of women who don't want children by a huge margin.
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Old 02-14-2014, 11:34 PM
 
Location: Connecticut/ON, Canada
145 posts, read 256,948 times
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I don't want children, but I'm female. And a lesbian so I guess it won't be a huge problem.

I too tried to like them, but I just can't. They annoy me, and I'd rather travel the world and enjoy my life as I want to than raise kids as well. I'm more of a dog and cat person. I can spoil other people's kids if I feel like it. They're fun in small doses.

I know a ton of guys that don't want kids. I'm sure you'll find one.
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Old 02-14-2014, 11:37 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,202 posts, read 52,629,348 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmonica_Blues View Post
I don't want children, but I'm female. And a lesbian so I guess it won't be a huge problem.

I too tried to like them, but I just can't. They annoy me, and I'd rather travel the world and enjoy my life as I want to than raise kids as well. I'm more of a dog and cat person. I can spoil other people's kids if I feel like it. They're fun in small doses.

I know a ton of guys that don't want kids. I'm sure you'll find one.
I agree, I would think it would be much easier for a woman to find a childless no kids wantin man than the other way around.
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Old 02-15-2014, 12:18 AM
 
1,201 posts, read 1,578,069 times
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I predict this thread will be as common as the "why don't girls like me even though I don't make any effort" threads in 10 years. Pendulum is swinging.
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Old 02-15-2014, 12:55 AM
 
Location: CA
3,467 posts, read 8,141,236 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
A lot harder than finding a boyfriend who says he doesn't want children, especially if you are in your 20s or 30s. Call it my baggage, but my ex pulled the ultimate bait-and-switch with that. "No, no, no. I don't want kids. The world has too many people already. I'm happy with just us."

And about a year after we married, Mr. Zero Population Growth starting hinting at wanting a child.

Really.

So my word of advice is not to really trust that of any man who doesn't have proof of a vasectomy unless he is over 40, and even then, that's when you're at least pushing 40 yourself and you've taken a good, hard, objective look at his lifestyle and how he is around kids. No wistful glances at children and no looking meaningfully at you when you're at a kid's birthday party or christening together. Ideally, when you leave an event where there are lots of kids, he should be complaining about a headache.

Anyway, call me skeptical, but there are wayyyyy too many young men out there in their 20s and early 30s who say they "definitely" don't want kids, and then when they get into their mid-30s they change their minds. Heck, both my ex and one of my old boyfriends not only swore they didn't want kids, they knocked up and later married the next person they were with after me. So I tell my current to think carefully, because the third time would be a charm!
I've noticed this also. Young men say they're cool with not having kids, but it's likd deep down they just think once you're both older you'll want them. I've seen when they see me very clear about my choice sort of falter a bit. All of a sudden they want to leave it open...

Quote:
One more thing: If you want a quality man, you'll need to have better reasons than vanity for not wanting a child.
It seems to me a person should have a good reason TO have kids. That's the decision with more responsibility, etc. Many have kids out of vanity of a different kind too.

I don't necessarily think the effects of pregnancy on the body are all about vanity either. It's that sense of your body not all yours anymore. It honestly freaks me out too. Pregnancy looks like a drag and I see nothing noble about it. I don't see a need to justify NOT wanting that experience.

I actually DO like kids, but to be a good parent, it takes a lot of time and energy. I want to do other things. This is not selfish because having kids is often NOT selfless. As mentioned, people have vanities and emotional needs they seek to fulfill through parenthood. I find I can spend more time in selfless pursuits because I don't have kids. My friends who are moms have far less time for such things.

Lastly, I just don't desire children. It just isn't there.
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Old 02-15-2014, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Australia
1,057 posts, read 1,690,722 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dejaentendu19 View Post
I predict this thread will be as common as the "why don't girls like me even though I don't make any effort" threads in 10 years. Pendulum is swinging.
Do you really think so? The number of childfree people is growing in Western countries but I think it will plateau.

I think most people will always want kids. The biological urge to procreate is too strong for most people to ignore and there are too many incentives/social forces pushing people towards having kids.
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Old 02-15-2014, 09:27 AM
 
1,454 posts, read 2,165,772 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkBunny View Post
How difficult do you think it would be to find a boyfriend who doesn't want children?
I would assume that's easier than the other way around. I have no desire for kids either. I get the feeling that some men only have kids because many women pressured them (in a way they are accommodating the woman). It's almost always the woman talking about babies.

Ironically when these very same men stumble upon us (whom they call the rare ones), they are surprised and might even ask why we don't want kids... hence they are now bringing the topic and not me.

Last edited by Laychick; 02-15-2014 at 09:36 AM..
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Old 02-15-2014, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,209 posts, read 27,575,665 times
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I think it should be fairly easy. However, people do change their minds later on and that (change of mind) is the scary part.

One of my good friends married a man who didn't want any children. When my friend was in her late 30s, he all of sudden wanted children. She tried numerous doctors and couldn't get pregnant. Her eggs were not healthy enough and she was devastated. She believed having a child is the only way to save her marriage.

Since she couldn't have children, they ended that marriage.

I am 29 years old I still have time to have children. I just hope I won't change my mind in the future. If you don't want children, you need to find a guy who shares the same belief you do. You cannot choose to marry a guy who is undecided because people do change their minds about this kind of stuff.
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