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Not sure if I have given up, but I certainly don't really care at all anymore. I think for me the problem lies more in the fact that though IRL IME, some guys have sooo much fun meeting new women, dating, having new gf's all the time, while I have always struggled.
In my 20's I just stayed positive, worked out, got a good enough job, and had my hobbies and my friends.
Now that I'm in my mid 30's, and I am still not much of a catch to a single woman that I would be interested in, I know my looks are partially to blame, as I have NEVER been accused of being the hottie, or any of that. But also, I'm sure there is something about my personality that many women are just not into. I honestly don't know what it is, cause usually if I spend enough time with most people, I get along with them really well, and we hit it off. But.... something is going on where initially, people don't seem to want to give me the chance to get to know me. And, it had mostly been that way forever, regardless of how outgoing, or reserved I am.
I honestly think women don't find me initially attractive enough to keep them interested, but a high percentage of women who actually do get to know me enjoy my friendship a lot.
Honestly, if I didn't have certain friends that I witnessed absolutely no effort in dating success, all the while being total a****es, I might not be as bothered by my lack of opportunities/rejections.
But the truth I have learned is that personality matters extremely little when the opposite sex already considers you attractive.
Anyone that argues that is someone that considers average looking to be what they define as average, as opposed to real average looking. Hollywood average is not world wide average, or American average.
Not sure if I have given up, but I certainly don't really care at all anymore. I think for me the problem lies more in the fact that though IRL IME, some guys have sooo much fun meeting new women, dating, having new gf's all the time, while I have always struggled.
In my 20's I just stayed positive, worked out, got a good enough job, and had my hobbies and my friends.
Now that I'm in my mid 30's, and I am still not much of a catch to a single woman that I would be interested in, I know my looks are partially to blame, as I have NEVER been accused of being the hottie, or any of that. But also, I'm sure there is something about my personality that many women are just not into. I honestly don't know what it is, cause usually if I spend enough time with most people, I get along with them really well, and we hit it off. But.... something is going on where initially, people don't seem to want to give me the chance to get to know me. And, it had mostly been that way forever, regardless of how outgoing, or reserved I am.
I honestly think women don't find me initially attractive enough to keep them interested, but a high percentage of women who actually do get to know me enjoy my friendship a lot.
Honestly, if I didn't have certain friends that I witnessed absolutely no effort in dating success, all the while being total a****es, I might not be as bothered by my lack of opportunities/rejections.
But the truth I have learned is that personality matters extremely little when the opposite sex already considers you attractive.
Anyone that argues that is someone that considers average looking to be what they define as average, as opposed to real average looking. Hollywood average is not world wide average, or American average.
But guys who run through GFs aren't actually having success if they don't have what it takes to maintain a relationship. There are guys who seems to have no problem getting a GF, but have plenty of problems keeping one. If your objective is merely sex or ONS, that might work fine, but that isn't everyone's goal. Hooking up is fine for a time, a rite of passage if you will, but it's a fairly shallow existence for many. There isn't much substance to two "pretty people" being together if there's nothing else to hold the relationship together but their admiration of each other's appearance.
And for your buddies who are a**holes, they might be getting the girls, but they're probably not the most quality girls if those girls find a**holes desirable. Again, maybe you don't care, but I'm guessing you're not just looking to get laid, you'd like something more meaningful.
Maybe you need to move in different circles, find a new set of friends who aren't a**holes. This is merely a guess on my part but if those are the guys you're associating with, a "nice" girl wouldn't be interested in you because she'd lump you into the same category as your jerk friends. YMMV
But guys who run through GFs aren't actually having success if they don't have what it takes to maintain a relationship. There are guys who seems to have no problem getting a GF, but have plenty of problems keeping one. If your objective is merely sex or ONS, that might work fine, but that isn't everyone's goal. Hooking up is fine for a time, a rite of passage if you will, but it's a fairly shallow existence for many. There isn't much substance to two "pretty people" being together if there's nothing else to hold the relationship together but their admiration of each other's appearance.
And for your buddies who are a**holes, they might be getting the girls, but they're probably not the most quality girls if those girls find a**holes desirable. Again, maybe you don't care, but I'm guessing you're not just looking to get laid, you'd like something more meaningful.
Maybe you need to move in different circles, find a new set of friends who aren't a**holes. This is merely a guess on my part but if those are the guys you're associating with, a "nice" girl wouldn't be interested in you because she'd lump you into the same category as your jerk friends. YMMV
ugh, this wound up being long....
Re bolded: Actually, you would be surprised the type of women I have IRL witnessed basically throw themselves at my a**hole friends. I'm talking quite attractive, educated, and basically social, mentally healthy women.
The truth is, once a woman decides a guy is attractive, she will give him the opportunity to get to know him, date him, etc.
And, due to the ease of these guys success, maybe they learned that regardless of their actions, women will come and go with no effort. So they never actually value the relationship, as they are having way too much fun dating and sleeping with the new and fun woman over and over.
I wish women would realize that for every hot guy they approach, many many other confident women are approahing the same hot guy and thinks that 'this hot guy has never met a woman like me.' Well, since everyone IS Different, there is some truth there. But trust me. The hot guys meet great women all the time. And these women do ANYTHING with these hot guys.
And then, there are the not hot guys. Not to say that many guys wouldn't do the same thing if they could, but there are MANY guys that would love the opportunity to find a woman who takes care of herself, is somewhat educated, and isn't gold digging. But this type of woman doesn't normally give the not hot guys a chance. Especially once the woman is past 24 ish and realises that there are so many guys out there that are attractive AND successful.
And the catch 22 is; for a guy like me, by the time a woman comes along that is a great person, we probably screw it up more times than not, due to frustration, over eagerness, or not enough experience on how to date a normal, mentally healthy woman. I have other average friends that have done this as well.
As far as a new circle of friends, yes I agree. It is something I am definatley working on.
The one thing there isn't any shortge of in the U.S. is hook-up material. If a guy can't find a girl (or vice versa) the thing that is holding them back isn't their face, or their body, its between their ears. The fault is 100% yours if, by adulthood, you have not had any kind of success with the opposite (or same) sex. And, that's cool, leaves more for the rest of us. Just own the dysfunction, instead of always holding oneself up as being such a great person, i.e. putting the blame on others. Who knows, become strong enough to take a good, hard, look at yourself and how others might see you... idk... maybe your luck could change? You know you want it to...
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Well said. I see a trend of men who lack success in dating, blaming their failures on everything but themselves. Using an external source to blame, makes it alot easier to deal with but really doesnt help you move forward in any way. Im not rich enough, tall enough, handsome enough, I live in a wrong part of the country....the list goes on and on and on. Reality is, as you say, it is 100% between your ears. If these very same men realized that if they only changed their frame of mind, and CHOSE to see themselves and the world around them from a slightly different angle, they could have as much success with women as they wanted.
Not sure OP falls into their category, in fact i get the feeling that isnt the case. Ive been cheated on and lied to and it really broke my heart, when I was young and naive. I took some years off and focused on other things in life like furthering my career and surrounding myself with people who have my best interest at heart. After few years of that, I got back into the dating scene and had an awesome time slaying fine cooch all over town. I dated so many women simultaneously, I had to start writing things down because it was close to impossible to keep track. Today, I have gf and we are making plans to move in together within the next couple of months. Whatever happens in the future, I feel confident Ill be ready to handle it as nothing is guaranteed.
Yes and no. Have I given up on being in a LTR or getting married? Yes. Have I given up on people in general, or dating, or meeting new people? Absolutely not. While I'd love to be in a LTR with someone, I've come to realize that I may just not be cut out for it so why focus on that? So, I've been dating often (online, though I did actually have a guy ask for my number recently in person...then proceeded to ask me if he could spend the night at my house. So close ) and meeting a ton of fantastic new people.
Kinda. it's not that rejection sucks so bad that I'm not willing to try again, it's that I hardly, if ever, see anyone I'm attracted to.
I use to think I was looking for someone who I connected to on an intellectual and spiritual level, but I realized sometimes I just want a guy I'm physically and energetically attracted to as well. It's so important to me to have that chemistry with someone and when I hadn't found that, I just stopped looking because I figured that maybe it wasn't meant for me to have.
I 'gave up' when I was 12 and realized guys are basically useless to me except for using them for my amusement and entertainment.
I don't feel what you feel in the sense of being cheated on or lied too so many times that I haven't had the ability to give anymore effort. I've been lied to as in my opinion most things guys say are lies to bust a nut however it hasn't affected my effort as I never had any the closest I had was curiosity which I quickly shut down upon realizing guys uselessness to me.
I'm not giving my location out so you can date me as likely you wouldn't be interested and I don't buy this standing out from the rest bs as I find the whole unique snowflake bit so unappealing.
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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Yes . Now I enjoy leisure reads of erotica , vibrators and 50 cats. .. The lifestyles of the disenfranchised
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) and meeting a ton of fantastic new people. 
