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Why do we keep saying this nonsense? All it does is give false hope.
I know many people that have never found their person. I probably won’t find mine.
A coworker has looked for his person for years. He died in November, without ever finding his person.
My friends husband left her when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has spent the last four years doing her thing, being open to dating but not searching for a date. Last week she found out the cancer is back, stage 4.
Lots of people never find the person that is crazy about them. Which I do realize is necessary to have a successful relationship. Just liking someone doesn’t get far.
Why do we keep saying this nonsense? All it does is give false hope.
I know many people that have never found their person. I probably won’t find mine.
A coworker has looked for his person for years. He died in November, without ever finding his person.
My friends husband left her when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has spent the last four years doing her thing, being open to dating but not searching for a date. Last week she found out the cancer is back, stage 4.
Lots of people never find the person that is crazy about them. Which I do realize is necessary to have a successful relationship. Just liking someone doesn’t get far.
The right person probably IS out there, somewhere. But the chances of you ever meeting them? Who knows. But as far as "false hope," that seems like a lousy attitude to me and one that will more likely cause you to miss that special someone because you have your head in the wrong place.
Be pessimistic if you really want to, but please stop trying to spread your pain around. It really isn't good for anyone.
If you can't find the "right person" then look for the "most right person you can meet."
The right person probably IS out there, somewhere. But the chances of you ever meeting them? Who knows. But as far as "false hope," that seems like a lousy attitude to me and one that will more likely cause you to miss that special someone because you have your head in the wrong place.
Be pessimistic if you really want to, but please stop trying to spread your pain around. It really isn't good for anyone.
If you can't find the "right person" then look for the "most right person you can meet."
Exactly. Well said, nothing else that anyone else should say. Thread closed
Why do we keep saying this nonsense? All it does is give false hope.
I know many people that have never found their person. I probably won’t find mine.
A coworker has looked for his person for years. He died in November, without ever finding his person.
My friends husband left her when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has spent the last four years doing her thing, being open to dating but not searching for a date. Last week she found out the cancer is back, stage 4.
Lots of people never find the person that is crazy about them. Which I do realize is necessary to have a successful relationship. Just liking someone doesn’t get far.
And I thought this was going to be a positive thread based on the title.
I don't believe in the concept of soul mates. And I don't believe there is one person out there we are supposed to find. I believe there are millions. I was deeply in love with my wife. We were a really happy couple. But it was not just automatic. We both wanted a good and happy loving marriage so we both worked to make it that way.
I lost her a few years ago. I recently joined match and I am spending a lot of time looking over profiles and photo's. For the purposes here, lets say I have liked and sent a message to 100 women in my age range. I don't know the actual number. Doubt it is that high.
The soul mate and someone for everyone logic would be that maybe 1 of those could be the right one for me or maybe she is not even in that group? So why after reading what they said and looking at photo's are the other 99 not for me?
I chose based on women I thought I would like to be involved with. Women I would like to date and could possibly fall in love with. And I am certain if that opportunity was there and I began dating all of the 99 in order, I would never see them all. Within the first several I would find someone I could make a relationship work with. They are in the group specifically because I already find them physically attractive and if she doesn't snore or sleep walk with sharp objects, it may just work between us.
It is easy to get down about being alone. Loneliness sucks and I unfortunately know too much about loneliness and feeling really down about things. I bury that inside each time I walk out my door into the other world. Because with online dating it is more what the odds are. In public, there are chance encounters and if my head is hanging low cause I am feeling down, I will miss the lady trying to get my attention.
I may be alone for a long time or a lady I could fall for could walk into my life tomorrow or she could be sending me a opening message as I type. As frustrating and heart breaking as things can get, the only chance it to put a positive face on it even when you are dying inside. No lady has ever seen a really down and depressed guy sitting by himself and thought maybe she should get romantically involved with him or her for that matter.
Depression and self loathing is not attractive. It is the opposite. It is a major turn off to anyone. We don't have to be the life of the party and pretend our world is perfect. We just need to have a smile at the ready and not dwell on all the negative. Negative feelings about yourself and inability to have a love life builds on itself. It is a cancer that will consume you. Its not to say you have a good chance by always focusing on the positive. But by focusing on the negative, we have no chance at all.
The right person probably IS out there, somewhere. But the chances of you ever meeting them? Who knows. But as far as "false hope," that seems like a lousy attitude to me and one that will more likely cause you to miss that special someone because you have your head in the wrong place.
Be pessimistic if you really want to, but please stop trying to spread your pain around. It really isn't good for anyone.
If you can't find the "right person" then look for the "most right person you can meet."
Has nothing to do with pain. It is about being real. It literally is the most awful thing to say to someone. My friend has been hearing she will find Mr. Right for 4 years.... She gets out. She has a public job. She is smart, kind and just an amazing person. Yet she is getting ready to go into battle for her life for the second time.
Sure makes you think. Her now ex husband left her the last time. I don’t think I have an ex that would have held my hand while I get chemo either.
Actually I drove myself last time I had surgery, so I know I would be on my own.
So are we to assume the fiance is a thing of the past?
Not yet but I am making things less easy for him. I remind him daily that all the things I like about relationships, he stopped doing, so I see no benefit to him.
I do know I need to find the man that is absolutely crazy about me. The problem is that they all act like that for a year or two. It’s after that it all goes down hill. So basically they like the idea of me, until they have me, than they have no idea what to do with the real me. So than they embark on this journey of trying to change me....lmao. Impossible.
But enough about me.
Just seems like it is impossible for some people to find their person. And it sucks to give them that false hope. My coworker died. He was still on dating apps
Probably the first thing that the op has said that I've ever agreeded with. The saying is silly nonsensical hogwash. No, plenty of people die alone and never really have had any kind of meaningful relationship.
Little harsh sounding I suppose.
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