Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She agreed to go long ago. It's not really an issue of convincing her...it's an issue of convincing myself. I have somewhere between no days and roughly 5 days before I'll find out their decision.
Your too young to give up on pursuing your career!
This actually sounds like a decent scenario. Although you and your wife will have to give up close proximity to family and friends to chase your career, your priorities should be between each other first, and all those people second. As such, I think the two of you should encourage each other to do what is in your best interests, whatever that is. Typically, at your stage, it would be pursuing a career.
Nothing is forever, and a job is not a life sentance. You can take the new job, move, and if the two of you end up hating it, then move back and settle for a different job, or try to advance your career more and go somewhere else.
I say go for it! Sounds like your wife would be supportive even if it isn't her preference. In a year, reevaluate your careers and your preference for where you live!
Tough decision. As another wildlife biologist I know what you mean about good jobs, far and few between and are becoming more so.
Your wife sounds like she will be fine with the move. Make sure this job is what you think it will be. You didn’t say if it was federal, state or private. Make sure the funding is there and the position is secure. Then go for it.
I have some regrets that I didn’t go after a job in this field that I would have been happier at. I would have had to move and I probably wouldn’t be making as much money as I am now, but I would have been doing something I would have been happier with career wise. But at the time my kids were at the age that a move would have been hard for them, my parents were getting older and needed me. I had a bucket full of excuses.
I asked about funding during the interview and they were confident that things were going well and would continue to do so. The particular position is for the state of Maine. My current position is private (consulting).
I asked about funding during the interview and they were confident that things were going well and would continue to do so. The particular position is for the state of Maine. My current position is private (consulting).
Take the job while you can. Im in private consulting too. 20 years. Gravy job and pays well but no job security, crappy benefits and a few other negatives.
I've moved to different states 3 times and I don't regret any of them. The first time I was considering leaving my hometown, a good friend said "it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do" and that always stuck with me.
It sounds like it's a great opportunity for you, and since you don't have children, you won't have to worry about uprooting kids, schools, etc. Even though it will be tough leaving friends and family behind, there's no guarantee that you'll stay in Maine forever. You could just as easily move somewhere closer down the line.
And now for a little of the dark side of moving for a job. We nearly broke up when we moved from family and friends for a job in Alaska. When we first got married, I too passed up a transfer in order for her to be close to her family. Years later, I went back to school and we lived near my family. After graduating is when we moved to Alaska. The plan was to go for 2 years. My wife reluctantly went and basically went crazy for 6 months. Our saving grace, was that the company moved the office to a bigger city about 8 months after I took the job and we felt more welcomed there. So 2 jobs and 20+ years later, we are still here.
So, you'll likely have to face something similar. Is the city you'd be moving to smaller? How friendly was the community? What was the school district like? Will you give her a chance to visit before you decide? Will you be able to live on one salary should your wife be unable to get a job?
Since this hopefully is just a stepping stone to a job in an area you'd prefer, you can take a chance on enduring some hardship for hopefully a short period. Your saving grace is that many in your field are likely my age and will be retiring over the next several years, so you should have opportunities to move to a location you prefer.
I spent a lot of time in S. Maine on the seacoast. I have many friends from Maine, now retired, working for the US forest service and the state. They were all New Englanders, so it wasn't a change your culture type thing. They were Yankees in the first place. If you're an outdoors person, you will love it once you adjust to the weather and the Yankee personality (direct, honest, quiet, ironic, mind their own business types).
I had moving problems in my first marriage. All I can say is be 100% honest with your wife about your intentions. Make an agreement with her that will compensate her emotionally for the loss of her family contacts and stick to it religiously.
Remember it take 9 - 12 months to adjust to a new place. Kids (you don't have any) often adjust quicker than their parents. There will be some bumps; go over them as couple, not alone.
Good luck. I'd move to Portland or Orono, for that matter, in a flash if i were younger and didn't have danish wife with a family in Denmark.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
