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Old 03-24-2013, 01:58 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
175 posts, read 279,353 times
Reputation: 287

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I think it's your attitude. You have the juvenile mindset that women don't truly desire "nice guys" such as (allegedly) yourself. Your post is charming enough, but the mentality is reflective of a man who doesn't really respect women. How are you going to find, attract, and date a woman who is worthy of and in search of a quality man if you don't think we exist? Lose the victim mentality. It's been done, it's been proven wrong, and it's a guarantee for loneliness and resentment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RimeofAncientMariner View Post
I'm a guy who has received a ton of compliments in my lifetime for everything from being good looking to extremely nice, confident, smart, interesting, etc... I've had my best friend's married sister tell me that she can't believe I'm permanently single because "i'm perfect and exactly what girls want" (her exact words). I've had a married acquaintance, a beautiful blonde, say almost exactly the same thing IE "I'm perfect". Probably the 2 most common compliments that I've received over and over again is that I'm extremely nice and kind, without being a pushover, and that I have a handsome face as well as being in good shape.

Despite all of this, I have had less success with women than almost anybody I know. I go out and I never get any women who seem to be interested or attracted to me in any form. I haven't been approached by any women in about 5 years and I can't even remember the last time I received signs of interest from anybody moderately attractive. I haven't been on a date in 4 years. If I do get signs of interest or approaches, it's from gay men, older/overweight women, etc...

I used to be very shy and I figured that women were also shy themselves and that I would finally have some success once I started approaching. Well I started approaching and putting myself out there, got several numbers where it was a very pleasant conversation where I was myself and we had great chemistry...all numbers flaked on me and wouldn't even respond to my attempts to contact them.

What in the hell is wrong with me? I just don't understand. Practically every guy I know gets some relatively easy and natural opportunities to find dates...I get nothing whatsoever. No girl ever approaches me, no girl ever shows any interest and if I do put myself out there on a cold approach, I get flaked on everytime. The other issue is that I'm internalizing this stuff over and over again in my mind, which makes me feel like dating is an even more impossible challenge, it's even that much more difficult to get a date and that I'm that much more undesirable


What is going on here? What am I missing?
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Old 03-24-2013, 02:11 PM
 
96 posts, read 81,621 times
Reputation: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by violetnights View Post
I think it's your attitude. You have the juvenile mindset that women don't truly desire "nice guys" such as (allegedly) yourself
When did I say anything like that?

I don't think it's the fact that I'm a "nice guy" that has kept me lonely for so many years, not at all

Quote:
Your post is charming enough, but the mentality is reflective of a man who doesn't really respect women.
ahh...what? Where did I say anything about not respecting women?


Quote:
How are you going to find, attract, and date a woman who is worthy of and in search of a quality man if you don't think we exist?

I think there are many great women out there, it's just that none of them seem to be interested in me
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:14 PM
 
96 posts, read 81,621 times
Reputation: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I'm legitimately curious because I've heard multiple people on this board say that all women have to do is 'exist' and they get bombarded with dates, gifts etc.

I haven't had any of this (unless you count the homeless dude that told me I have nice t*ts, or the bouncer at a club that asked if he could come over and 'cuddle' with me) and it would be nice to try it out and see if I like it

I'm going for women who are attractive, in shape and in their 20s (age doesn't matter to me but I know somebody too much older than me won't be compatible in most cases). Those women get hit on 24/7, let's be realistic
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:17 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,187 posts, read 107,790,902 times
Reputation: 116077
Quote:
Originally Posted by RimeofAncientMariner View Post
Those women get hit on 24/7, let's be realistic
Not this again! Why don't you just resurrect your old Brahmabull threads, and post from there? Oh, that's right--most of them were locked...
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:21 PM
 
2,758 posts, read 4,957,075 times
Reputation: 3014
Quote:
Originally Posted by RimeofAncientMariner View Post
- of course not
- absolutely. The several numbers I got recently, we had a very interesting conversation
- of course
I think if you are getting phone numbers from women, but nothing happens after that, it is pretty much your fault, and something you may be able to control.

If you were unable to get phone numbers at all, then I would chalk it up as you probably not being as attractive as most women other options.

Are you not showing enough interest, or perusing these women ? Most of the time, they won't chase you.
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,617,448 times
Reputation: 16395
Quote:
Originally Posted by RimeofAncientMariner View Post
I'm going for women who are attractive, in shape and in their 20s (age doesn't matter to me but I know somebody too much older than me won't be compatible in most cases). Those women get hit on 24/7, let's be realistic
Maybe they're out of your league then? If they're getting hit on 24/7 and not choosing you, then you need to start looking elsewhere.
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:24 PM
 
17,869 posts, read 20,988,473 times
Reputation: 13949
I was pretty sure this was Brahmabull. lol
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:33 PM
 
96 posts, read 81,621 times
Reputation: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Maybe they're out of your league then? If they're getting hit on 24/7 and not choosing you, then you need to start looking elsewhere.

I've never gone for anybody out of my league. I look for women as close to me as possible
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:36 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,617,448 times
Reputation: 16395
Quote:
Originally Posted by RimeofAncientMariner View Post
I've never gone for anybody out of my league. I look for women as close to me as possible
Then maybe you're not being honest with yourself.

Either that or there's some glaring physical or personality component that you're missing.
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Old 03-24-2013, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,681,934 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Then maybe you're not being honest with yourself.

Either that or there's some glaring physical or personality component that you're missing.
Exactly.

He's not being honest with himself because it's much easier to blame the women who aren't "giving him a chance" rather than actually take a long hard look at himself and his attitudes.
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