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Old 03-22-2013, 09:05 PM
 
96 posts, read 69,440 times
Reputation: 31

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I'm a guy who has received a ton of compliments in my lifetime for everything from being good looking to extremely nice, confident, smart, interesting, etc... I've had my best friend's married sister tell me that she can't believe I'm permanently single because "i'm perfect and exactly what girls want" (her exact words). I've had a married acquaintance, a beautiful blonde, say almost exactly the same thing IE "I'm perfect". Probably the 2 most common compliments that I've received over and over again is that I'm extremely nice and kind, without being a pushover, and that I have a handsome face as well as being in good shape.

Despite all of this, I have had less success with women than almost anybody I know. I go out and I never get any women who seem to be interested or attracted to me in any form. I haven't been approached by any women in about 5 years and I can't even remember the last time I received signs of interest from anybody moderately attractive. I haven't been on a date in 4 years. If I do get signs of interest or approaches, it's from gay men, older/overweight women, etc...

I used to be very shy and I figured that women were also shy themselves and that I would finally have some success once I started approaching. Well I started approaching and putting myself out there, got several numbers where it was a very pleasant conversation where I was myself and we had great chemistry...all numbers flaked on me and wouldn't even respond to my attempts to contact them.

What in the hell is wrong with me? I just don't understand. Practically every guy I know gets some relatively easy and natural opportunities to find dates...I get nothing whatsoever. No girl ever approaches me, no girl ever shows any interest and if I do put myself out there on a cold approach, I get flaked on everytime. The other issue is that I'm internalizing this stuff over and over again in my mind, which makes me feel like dating is an even more impossible challenge, it's even that much more difficult to get a date and that I'm that much more undesirable


What is going on here? What am I missing?
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:07 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
90,987 posts, read 87,651,288 times
Reputation: 98235
I can't figure out which threads we're supposed to take seriously, and which ones are joke threads...
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:08 PM
 
Location: Atlanta & NYC
6,616 posts, read 12,823,783 times
Reputation: 6642
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I can't figure out which threads we're supposed to take seriously, and which ones are joke threads...
Lol yeah. This poor OP came in at the wrong time.
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:15 PM
 
96 posts, read 69,440 times
Reputation: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by ja1myn View Post
Lol yeah. This poor OP came in at the wrong time.
100% serious
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Atlanta & NYC
6,616 posts, read 12,823,783 times
Reputation: 6642
Just because a chick doesn't answer her phone for you or flakes out on you doesn't mean there's a problem with you bro. Give it time and continue being yourself. It's all you can do.
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:22 PM
 
4,852 posts, read 3,830,696 times
Reputation: 8628
How are we to know what the problem is? It could be lots of things. For example,

- Do you have BO? Other hyiene-related issues?
- Are you a good conversationalist?
- Do you have a job?
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:24 PM
 
96 posts, read 69,440 times
Reputation: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage 80 View Post
How are we to know what the problem is? It could be lots of things. For example,

- Do you have BO? Other hyiene-related issues?
- Are you a good conversationalist?
- Do you have a job?

- of course not
- absolutely. The several numbers I got recently, we had a very interesting conversation
- of course
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:25 PM
 
96 posts, read 69,440 times
Reputation: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by ja1myn View Post
Just because a chick doesn't answer her phone for you or flakes out on you doesn't mean there's a problem with you bro. Give it time and continue being yourself. It's all you can do.
It's just a combination of things. I mean come on...dating can't be this unbelievably difficult
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:27 PM
 
Location: Atlanta & NYC
6,616 posts, read 12,823,783 times
Reputation: 6642
Quote:
Originally Posted by RimeofAncientMariner View Post
It's just a combination of things. I mean come on...dating can't be this unbelievably difficult
Dating is tough for everyone at some point. At least you get compliments often about your looks and personality. Half the population of people who deserve compliments like that don't even get them.
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:32 PM
 
3,499 posts, read 4,321,587 times
Reputation: 2170
Quote:
Originally Posted by RimeofAncientMariner View Post
No girl ever approaches me, no girl ever shows any interest and if I do put myself out there on a cold approach, I get flaked on everytime.
Girls don't approach that often...so it's not hard to imagine that you've fallen between the cracks in that area. Though it can happen, don't count on it.

Maybe you don't know what "signs of interests" actually are? In my experience, it's extremely subtle and if you don't know what to look for it's hard to figure it out. But, I doubt you're not getting any signs of interest, you're just missing them.

Cold approaching doesn't work that well. Again, don't count on it.

What you're missing, imo, is you're not putting yourself in situations where you can interact with people in a casual environment.
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