Should a spouse have a say if their wife or husband gets tattoos? (how to, men)
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So, you wouldn't have a problem if your spouse had sex with someone else without your consent? From what you're saying, they shouldn't need it, and to require it would be "disturbing"! And I never once said anything about dictating her choice - I clearly said that she can choose whatever she wants, but if I disagree with the idea of getting a tattoo, I am not consenting to it, but neither am I dictating she not do so. I am only saying that there may be consequences, just as there are for any issue which has great significance to one or both members of a couple.
I think having sex with someone and getting a tattoo are very different things.
At any rate, in a loving and caring relationship, things like tattoos should be discussed. I almost said 'altering your body' but thought of getting your ears pierced. That would be altering ones body, but for the most part, I don't think a spouse would mind.
I think you have a comprehension problem! I said if "done without my consent" I'd have an issue, I didn't say my consent was required - that's a very different thing. She can do whatever she chooses, but if it is contrary to my wishes or preferences, I have to right to end the relationship as a consequence if I so choose. She has freedom to choose, and I have freedom to choose. We both need to choose our priorities and act accordingly.
Your consent would be required if she wanted it done and wanted to remain in a relationship w you, though.
I think you have a comprehension problem! I said if "done without my consent" I'd have an issue, I didn't say my consent was required - that's a very different thing. She can do whatever she chooses, but if it is contrary to my wishes or preferences, I have to right to end the relationship as a consequence if I so choose. She has freedom to choose, and I have freedom to choose. We both need to choose our priorities and act accordingly.
Actually, my comprehension is fine. You have a vocabulary problem. Consent implies permission. If you weren't talking about permission, then you need to choose your words better.
this sounds like trouble to me, and i've got quite a few tats myself
Quote:
should not impact how I see her sexually
this here is the real problem. of course it will and should impact how you see her. sounds like she's spoiling for a confrontation. as someone else already said, i bet there is a deeper underlying issue. good luck buddy
Your consent would be required if she wanted it done and wanted to remain in a relationship w you, though.
Yes, IF she wanted to remain in a relationship with me, or is willing to chance that I would accept after the fact. Likewise, I don't need her consent for anything I choose to do, but I recognize there may be severe consequences if that thing is one of her deal breaker issues. So, I would seek consent if I hoped for a positive outcome for the relationship.
I've always felt neither a husband or a wife owns their spouse. I don't think a spouse has a right to tell their mate what they can and can not do with their body. That said, I agree with the OP, I wouldn't want my wife getting tattoo's either. I think it can and will affect your sex life, just like one partner in a marriage gaining a huge amount of weight will affect change. I think the change makes more difference to a male than it does a female, mainly because men are atracted to viual stimulation more than women...
Do you check and get approval from your other half to get a hair cut? What would happen if you got all of your hair shaved off?
Your a married couple so you should discuss things but you should not force the other person to do or not to do something. It is a person's individual choice. I would of thought part of your marriage vows was mentioning "support" or "stand by you"..blah blah blah...a commitment of some kind.
So don't make it the deal breaker but maybe she can be understanding also and place her tattoos discreetly so they are not seen easily when clothed. That may make you feel better.
I have a tattoo since I was 18 (many yrs ago) on my shoulder that is covered by my shirt straps and then another one on the inside of my ankle that only shows when I wear a dress and cross my legs. When people see that one I always get nice remarks.
If it's a sexual turn off for you then close your eyes.
Last edited by back2M; 03-23-2013 at 07:40 PM..
Reason: add
Neither my wife or I have any tattoos. I don't like them and think they are ugly and have to assume that in 20 years when the tattoo fad is over many of the young people getting tattoos today will feel really silly when their tattoos look all stretched out and ugly.
I always assumed my wife did not like tattoos either but recently she has been planning on getting a number of large tattoos. I told her what I thought but she says it is her body and she can do what she pleases. But I told her it will hurt our sex life because I find tattoos ugly, especially large ones. She says that is silly and her having tattoos or not should not impact how I see her sexually or value her attractiveness.
Please, lets not have this about the pros and cons of tattoos, there is a million postings about this, but instead, lets answer this question: Should a spouse have a say if their wife or husband gets tattoos?
I don't like tattoos either. My SO didn't like them, so we got that part right.
It's a tough question. I think each person has a right to do what they want with their body, but I think if it affects a relationship that changes the situation. Personally, there wasn't much that I would have put before my SO or our relationship.
I suspect that most of the people that thought it was OK for my wife to get several large tattoos were women who liked tattoos and did not truly understand how important the visual side of the equation is for men when they are with a woman. If she gets the tattoos I will no longer be visually attracted to her.
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