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People ruin relationships, they may just use FB as a vehicle to do it. I have heard of relationships being ruined by people who met playing online Bingo. Affairs and breakups have been happening long before FB, the internet, the telephone or any other new device that has come along in the last 100 years or so.
Whenever we say something in the heat of the moment, it can be bad. However, things said take on a new dimension when they are put in writing instead. Putting things in writing has a way to escalate the seriousness and potential damage. Especially on facebook where it is in writing for the world to see.
Does facebook ruin relationships? No, but I would say it more easily enables people to ruin relationships.
Social media makes it easier to discover infidelities within your relationship. Before this, it could take months to years to fully discover. A couple of mouse clicks and connecting the dots and you can discover enough evidence to satisfy your hunch. The same goes for texting as well. You have print documentation of what you've been saying. Your service provider also stores these, so if you have a joint account, the other person on your account can get copies of the text you sent.
Everyone is correct that cheating has been around since the beginning of time; however, the ability and ease to cheat with multiple people, with less time invested, is a recent discovery. Think about online dating and how many women say they are tired of receiving messages of wanting to hook up. There's too much access available to your personal life today and most people don't even realize it. With a few mouse clicks and a little bit of money, you can look up someone's criminal record. You don't even have to put on pants to do it either.
I hate how much information is available for a small fee and the ability to navigate. I put as little as I can on facebook, because I don't want people I'm not that close to to know everything about me. Why should someone in Seattle, who I've never met, who is friends with one of my friends, know that I went to the movies? Yes, you can alter your privacy settings, but they should come altered first. It should be private to begin with and you click on filters to make your profile more public.
I think it can. Just like cell phones and so much other technology we have these days it makes it so easy to talk to someone secretly. Your SO could Facebook chat with an opposite sex coworker or an ex from the past all day long and you'd never know. I guess people have always found ways to meet people and cheat on their SO's, but FB sure does make it easy. They don't even have to leave the house to meet someone.
Ah, but one can say they don't take it seriously, but secretly can be trying to hook up, when the wife is away.
That does happen......
But someone who wants to cheat doesn't need Facebook to do it. He could go to a bar; he could answer a Craigslist ad or have an online dating profile, etc. The flaw is in him, not the website.
I'm not a cheater when in exclusive relationships, but I am a single guy playing the field so I'm pretty in-tune with how technology and social media affect dating and relationship dynamics.
The social media of today is much more effective at CATCHING cheaters and two-timers than it is at helping people cheat. Cheating and/or juggling multiple relationships necessitates the ability to keep big sections of your life private, which is very difficult if you're a heavy user of modern social media.
The perfect technology era for a player, IMO, was the AOL days of the mid-late 1990's. You could troll the local chat rooms or even just the member directory for EASY hook-ups, but unlike with Facebook, your entire life wasn't laid out for everyone to see.
You could be knocking down 5-6 different chicks off AOL and none of them would have any way of knowing about each other. Even with privacy settings, that would be damn tough to pull off on FB.
I don't get why people think social media makes it easier to catch a cheater than it is to cheat. I would love to hear the reasoning behind these two premises. Mostly I was unaware that it's difficult to cheat using social media.
It's pretty much the same theory as in academics: online content makes it easier to plagiarize, but it also makes it easier to catch plagiarization. Cheaters will leave an online trail: emails, wall/forum posts, IMs, etc. If one was suspicious, it's not hard to find out who they've been talking to and what they've been saying.
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