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I think it's a huge red flag. It would never occur to me to ask those kinds of questions to someone I am not married to or even engaged to. I think he's lookin' for a sugar momma.
Look at it this way. At least you chose someone to date that's stupid enough to ask these questions rather than just think them....
He could also be a decent bloke that's just a bit thick... either way, sounds like a catch.
Last edited by Baldrick; 03-28-2013 at 04:10 AM..
Reason: Oh you know.. it's a Thursday.
She dated that "debt ridden slug" for 6 months so she must like him.
If she didn't like him then she shouldn't have dated him.
She, like other people who have this same paranoia, was probably afraid of this from day one, before he even asked.
She should not have dated him, but she did because she liked him. This is just her paranoia coming out. And if that is something she can't get rid of, then she should just accept it, dump him, and only date men who make more money than her.
life sometimes isnt that black and white...
if the guy was really good hearted, treated her like a queen, and is making the effort to get out of debt, thats different- he doesnt have to make more money than her- but if he " expects" her to help clean up his debt, and sponge off her, thats different, and worse, if he's making it clear, that to go deeper in the relationship, it's going to be a "requirement" for her to do this...then he's being ultra manipulative..
sometimes we dont know things about the other until a few months into the relationship
and again most of us have "appeased" and avoided the straight talks to avoid conflict- not the right thing to do, but it happens.
I've helped a few woman, in financial difficulty, because i wanted to- not felt i had to, big difference
relationships are complicated, the path can be a minefield,
Location: West Los Angeles and Rancho Palos Verdes
13,583 posts, read 15,662,103 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ToMarryOrNotToMarry
I'm in the process of purchasing a new home and recently my boyfriend of less than 6 months asked me if we were to marry would he be entitled to part of my home and if we were married would we share all our income . Now, I'm a smart girl and this threw up HUGE red flags. He has debt and absolutely NO assets or retirement and makes about 1/4 of what I make. I have absolutely NO DEBT, I have retirement savings, a great career, currently own a home which the equity is being used on my new house, I have substantial cash and assets.
LOL if a guy was posting this he would get flamed and run off the forum.... Sounds like she has deep seeded issues with making more $$ than her man. Maybe you should find another guy.
its funny that majority of the response is against pursuing the relationship any further when if the roles were different most will have no qualms with the man sticking with the woman. Oh equality in 2013.... gotta love it.
It's not the fact he makes less, But that he is presenting this question as a prelude to marriage. I would be very concerned that his future seems to be eying weather part of the house would be his if you get married. It's like he is planning beyond the marriage already. I would be very weary of this guy, Sounds like he is looking for the security of a piece of property and you are the door that opens that. Not good.
its funny that majority of the response is against pursuing the relationship any further when if the roles were different most will have no qualms with the man sticking with the woman. Oh equality in 2013.... gotta love it.
I completely disagree. If the roles were reversed I would give exactly the same advice. A gold digger is a gold digger. Period.
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and if we were married would we share all our income 
Playing devils advocate
