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Did you miss the part where she said he tested clean? And that she's been on the pill for three months? I even suggested she have him pull out to add an additional layer of birth control, even though the pill is like 99.7% effective.
I'm all about not having any STDs or babies in nine months, and I've managed to make it to 30 with neither. But the people out there (not necessarily referring to you, Doll Eyes) who act like you're going to be Octomom with AIDS if you don't use the pill, two condoms, an IUD, and a HAZMAT suit need to chill out.
Who cares that he says he's been tested and it came out clean and who cares about her being on the pill? Why should she gamble with her health, the only person benefiting from this is going to be HIM. It's in every man's best interest to convince a woman to not use condoms
With the way these people are today, anyone could tell you anything. She could be telling him she's on the pill and that could be a lie (not saying it is). There's no feasible reason (other then personal agenda) to tell a woman not to use condoms. No one said anything about needing Hazmat gear or two condoms, etc. but to let someone else convince you to gamble with your health so they aren't inconvenienced, is stupid.
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now. We are both sophomores in college. I really wanted to wait until marriage, but I'm in love with him and I feel like the time is right to lose my virginity. My boyfriend has been in 3 other relationships prior to ours, so he is experienced, but he has never pressured me for sex, if anything he's very kind and I can definitely see us spending the rest of our lives together.
We have both decided to make love on Saturday in the afternoon. He rented a hotel room at a bed and breakfast for our special day, since Saturday will officially be our one year anniversary together.
I haven't mentioned our plans to my friends because I don't want them to judge me.
I have prepared by speaking with an Np on campus. She told us about various alternative forms of birth control and my bf even agreed to take an std panel test. He doesn't have any stds (not that I expected him to) but it just feels good knowing this for sure.
We have decided to use condoms and 3 months ago I started taking birth control, just to be extra careful. Despite all of the planning and preparations I'm so nervous. I've read a lot of information about sex, but I'm not sure what the experience will be like. Should I be nervous? Am I overreacting?
What does it feel like the first time. I know it will hurt, but I'm hopeful that it will still be great to make love with my boyfriend.
I wouldn't do it. If you've waited this long, then you might as well hold off until after you're married. It will make it that much more special.
Who cares that he says he's been tested and it came out clean and who cares about her being on the pill? Why should she gamble with her health, the only person benefiting from this is going to be HIM. It's in every man's best interest to convince a woman to not use condoms
With the way these people are today, anyone could tell you anything. She could be telling him she's on the pill and that could be a lie (not saying it is). There's no feasible reason (other then the man's personal agenda) to tell a woman not to use condoms. No one said anything about needing Hazmat gear or two condoms, etc. but to let someone else convince you to gamble with your health so they aren't inconvenienced, is stupid.
The OP came here looking for advice on how to have the best sexual experience possible for her first time. Sex is more pleasurable without a condom, for both men and women. That is a fact.
With that said, I am a strong advocate of condom use in most situations. However, this is a situation where I don't see them to be necessary, especially if another form of birth control such as pulling out is used to complement the pill.
These two are in a trusting, monogamous relationship, he tested clean, and she's on the pill. If he doesn't believe she really is, then he has the right to insist on wearing a condom. However, my advice was to her, and it was based on the information she gave me.
It's not ludicrous, it is usually a man that says things like this, hence your previous post. That's not saying women don't suggest these things.
....and if that's the case why would you turn around and advise someone else to do that?
In your experiences it obviously has been the man. In mine it has been the woman. Are your experiences more indicative than mine of what is normal? Can you provide proof? Of course not, and neither can I, which is why this is a waste of time argument.
The OP came here looking for advice on how to have the best sexual experience possible for her first time. Sex is more pleasurable without a condom, for both men and women. That is a fact.
With that said, I am a strong advocate of condom use in most situations. However, this is a situation where I don't see them to be necessary, especially if another form of birth control such as pulling out is used to complement the pill.
These two are in a trusting, monogamous relationship, he tested clean, and she's on the pill. If he doesn't believe she really is, then he has the right to insist on wearing a condom. However, my advice was to her, and it was based on the information she gave me.
People worry about pleasure and not health factors and situations first, that's most of their problem. I don't see the point in advising her to do something like that at all, especially I work in the healthcare field. It's irresponsible. There's been people in a so called 'trusting monogamous relationship' who found out that wasn't the case.
Even so I stand by what I said earlier, makes no sense to advise someone to do something like that.
In your experiences it obviously has been the man. In mine it has been the woman. Are your experiences more indicative than mine of what is normal? Can you provide proof? Of course not, and neither can I, which is why this is a waste of time argument.
Well there's a huge factor that a. I am a virgin and b. I don't plan on having sex, LOL. So whatever your personal experiences have been, I have to take your word for it. No one can provide proof of anything and it's not needed here. I was looking at the situation from the perspective of telling a random woman not to use condoms her first time. Whether you've had sex or not that's the wrong thing to tell a person to do. This is my opinion, if you don't agree, so be it. At the end of the day, she can and will do whatever she wants, makes no difference to either of us what she decides.
Last edited by Doll Eyes; 03-29-2013 at 04:43 PM..
Who cares that he says he's been tested and it came out clean and who cares about her being on the pill? Why should she gamble with her health, the only person benefiting from this is going to be HIM. It's in every man's best interest to convince a woman to not use condoms
Well, at least for me, condoms are not much fun for the woman either. They are an interruption and then they don't feel as nice as skin. You dry out more easily. They are a very useful tool to have in a safe sex toolbox. But they are just one tool. If protection from STDs and pregnancy is done some other way, great. My concern with the advice you respond to is that the safety of the STD test result. The timing of the test compared to the timing of possible exposure can mean a false negative. I don't recall the OPs time line.
Quote:
With the way these people are today, anyone could tell you anything. She could be telling him she's on the pill and that could be a lie (not saying it is). There's no feasible reason (other then personal agenda) to tell a woman not to use condoms. No one said anything about needing Hazmat gear or two condoms, etc. but to let someone else convince you to gamble with your health so they aren't inconvenienced, is stupid.
Most people don't operate on a completely lack of any kind of trust thing. If you are dating someone, there should be an appropriate and demonstrated/ earned amount of trust. I am all for safety. But basing it on complete mistrust of the entire human race... maybe it would be better not to date.
Well, at least for me, condoms are not much fun for the woman either. They are an interruption and then they don't feel as nice as skin. You dry out more easily. They are a very useful tool to have in a safe sex toolbox. But they are just one tool. If protection from STDs and pregnancy is done some other way, great. My concern with the advice you respond to is that the safety of the STD test result. The timing of the test compared to the timing of possible exposure can mean a false negative. I don't recall the OPs time line.
Most people don't operate on a completely lack of any kind of trust thing. If you are dating someone, there should be an appropriate and demonstrated/ earned amount of trust. I am all for safety. But basing it on complete mistrust of the entire human race... maybe it would be better not to date.
Very sensible post. Thank you for demonstrating that it isn't just a "guy thing" to prefer sex without condoms when other reliable methods are used to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs.
I'll close with this:
What do rattlesnakes and condoms have in common?
Neither one I want to f___ with!
(Thank you, I'll be here all week. Tip your waiter.)
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