The pain isn't going to last forever (marriage, woman, husbands)

[tmahta]

Hey guys!
Today is my three month anniversary. Three months ago, I called off my wedding. Yup, I said it; I ended my relationship and cancelled my wedding. Three months ago today, I felt as if my life was in crumbles. It felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or bear the thought of facing life.

Brett and I had been together for one year and one week before the day he proposed. I had no idea it was coming, but it was the most romantic amazing proposal I could have imagined. All of my closest friends and family were across the channel watching the entire thing with binoculars. And the ring…well it was my dream ring. A two carat princess cut diamond with a half a carat of small diamonds in the band. I was the luckiest girl in the world, except for the fact that I wasn’t.
We were engaged for five months before I called it off. Most of the wedding was planned, and it was going to be beautiful. It was the fairytale I had always dreamt of. The dress, the flowers, and the venue were all perfect. The only thing that wasn’t perfect was the groom.

I was having doubts about Brett. He had some amazing attributes, but there was also a lot missing. We didn’t have the same work ethic, values, and most importantly respect for each other. Brett had a temper. He would drink and yell at me about the dumbest ****. I put up with it. I put up with it because I wanted to get married. I wanted the ring, the wedding, and the perfect life with the perfect kids. Sure, I had doubts, but who doesn’t I thought. I now know that in the successful marriages out there ( you know, the ones where they are actually happy), they never had those doubts. There are nerves about the thought of marriage but never doubts about the person you are marrying.

It was New Year’s Eve and we were with my sisters and their husbands in Ft Lauderdale. That’s when it happened. Brett got mad at me. It was over something so petty, but it wasn’t petty to him. He yelled at me, and we left the party early to go home. Once we were home, we still fought. Finally Brett fell asleep, and my sisters and their husbands came home. They asked if this had happened before. I spilled my guts. I told them everything I had been hiding. Brett has a temper, he yells at me sometimes, he’s told me to shut up, he thinks I’m selfish (which anyone who knows me will tell you I am not), and most importantly I’m having doubts about our pending nuptials in four months. Over the course of the next few hours I knew what I had to do. You see, I’m lucky enough to have two amazing older sisters who are in two amazing marriages. I have two amazing brother in laws. These four people were my rock. I knew no matter what happened that they would never steer me wrong.
The next morning Brett drove back home to Tampa, and I stayed in Ft Lauderdale. I came back home two days later and ended our relationship. I gave him back my ring, I took back my dog, my sister and I cancelled my wedding, I found a roommate and a place to live, and I went back to work. I started a new life within three weeks. To me, it’s like ripping off a band aid. The quicker you do it, the quicker the pain will be over. It’s now been three months and I’m doing well. My wedding is next month, but I won’t be getting married. I’ve done a lot of questioning and soul searching. I’m writing this because I know there are others out there in this position but there’s no one to turn to. I was fortunate enough to have two amazing sisters, but not everyone has that. If I can help one woman out there save herself from an unhappy marriage or divorce, then exposing my life and my story has been worth it.

I’ve learned a lot in three months. Everyone I’ve spoken to who is divorced has had one thing in common. They had doubts before they did it, but they did it anyway. I’ve learned to trust your gut. It’s the universe’s way of telling you something isn’t right. I’ve learned people always put their best foot forward, but true colors come out eventually. I’ve learned that everything happens for a reason. Life is hard, but it will be okay. I’ve learned it’s easier to end an engagement then to end a marriage. I learned it was easier to walk away with my dog then it would have been to walk away with children.
I still care about Brett and think of him and his family often. He will always have a special place in my heart. At the same time, I am very grateful God gave me a second chance. I was saved from making the biggest mistake of my life. This isn’t to say Brett isn’t an amazing man, but he’s not the man for me. I know there is someone out there who fits me, and I look forward to the day when I can meet him. I’ll be able to meet him, because I’m not married to the wrong person. In the meantime, I’m growing and learning from my experience. And now I’m ready to share it.
Mod cut: need 10 posts to make recommendations

[gobucks86]

Cool story bro.

EDIT: I guess it's a good story, just kind of odd for a first post and a plug of a website.

[Mikala43]

Technical difficulties....

[ja1myn]

Potatoes.

[TheHurricaneKid]

...Some how this seems all but a coincidence to my life, but with a few small details and one major detail changed.

...hmm...

You see, because I too have been a victim of someone named Brett. That someone was also a drunk with a temper, a lack of a work ethic, in addition to living in South Florida. Also, if I recall correctly, my parents were married in May, aka next month.

Alas, though, my mom made the mistake and married the bastard unfortunately for me.

...In addition my grandmothers last name is very phonetically similar to your username.


EDIT: Also there was an incident at around new year where my own step-father threw a tantrum for something very insignificant.

[inlinetwinturbo]

It is good u followed ur gut.mine has never led me wrong. There is someone outthere for all oc us and sometimes we have to do some work to get to them. Sometimes it takes a while but when its right it is RIGHT..good luck and be safe