Why does this Happen? how to fix it? (wife, marriage, women)
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Im new to the forum, I have a complicated marriage Id like to share with you and seek some of your advice....
I have been married for 4 years and me and my wife are both 26 with no kids. we have good jobs but work different hours. for years she has cheated on me and blaming me that I don't give her enough attention and verbal abuse. I admit I have been verbally abusive in the past. nothing physically but verbally.
Everytime we separate from each other, things go good for awhile and then they just go back to the way they were. In feb. she told me to leave and I went and rented an apartment but then we reconnected while we were separated and here it is early in May and were fighting like cats and dogs....
While we were separated for 3 months I did not seek other women as I wanted to be faithful to her but she has admitted 1 affair. I forgave her for that and vowed to move forward... but after 8 years of off and on fighting im getting really exhausted by it and im sure she is as well. I just want to be happy and im trying with her but when we always fight. I also noticed that when we got back together this last time I have gained 20 Lbs in like 2 months... I am not blaming her for that. that is my own fault but it seems I get comfortable and just quit exercising and everything.
I don't know if counseling would work it just seems we fight and its a never ending thing.
Counseling will work IF you both really want to go to counseling and work on your issues. Otherwise why don't you just get divorced and move on in your lives, no contact after the divorce just cut all ties completely.
Your relationship sounds very toxic and I do not understand why you would both want to continue the same way for the last 8 years and into the future. What a waste of time, energy and the lives of two people who could be happier with someone else.
Verbal abuse?? Not something to be proud of. STOP IT.
Break-up/make-up pattern? Immature, and a sign that neither of you really knows what you want.
Rapid weight gain? Either you have a medical condition, depression or just a lack of discipline.
Either way, like I said, time to break up and grow up.
You don't sound like you are willing to consider your partner's needs as valuable as your own, which is what marriage is based on.
Im new to the forum, I have a complicated marriage Id like to share with you and seek some of your advice....
I have been married for 4 years and me and my wife are both 26 with no kids. we have good jobs but work different hours. for years she has cheated on me and blaming me that I don't give her enough attention and verbal abuse. I admit I have been verbally abusive in the past. nothing physically but verbally.
Everytime we separate from each other, things go good for awhile and then they just go back to the way they were. In feb. she told me to leave and I went and rented an apartment but then we reconnected while we were separated and here it is early in May and were fighting like cats and dogs....
While we were separated for 3 months I did not seek other women as I wanted to be faithful to her but she has admitted 1 affair. I forgave her for that and vowed to move forward... but after 8 years of off and on fighting im getting really exhausted by it and im sure she is as well. I just want to be happy and im trying with her but when we always fight. I also noticed that when we got back together this last time I have gained 20 Lbs in like 2 months... I am not blaming her for that. that is my own fault but it seems I get comfortable and just quit exercising and everything.
I don't know if counseling would work it just seems we fight and its a never ending thing.
You sound like a very reasonable and sweet person. I am sorry you have to go through this.
Put your needs first and please take good care of yourself. Break up with her and move on with your life.
Why don't you quit being a jerk for good and lose some weight? That might help.
Perhaps you think if you lose weight and improve in your treatment of women that you might as well start over with someone new? Well, go for it, if that's what you want, but you will have to improve those things no matter what. Your wife clearly doesn't want to put up with it either.
I do not think I am a jerk, Perhaps to some of you I may be. I have been cheated on several times and I forgive her. mostly we fight about her talking to guy friends... and her not really wanting to do anything. she just kind of neglects the house and watches her tv shows instead.
I just don't want to keep being miserable. I don't know if I can trust her, I think sometimes I can but then I cant. It seems when we either fight about Money or something just in general she seems to talk to other men and Ex Bf's out of state and that bothers me.
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