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Old 10-29-2007, 01:17 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,853,425 times
Reputation: 7058

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What do you mean? What do you think my true intentions are?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiddlekitten View Post
The way you're changing such adverse and controversial topics at a time, make me wonder your true intentions on posting in CD Land. . .
With that said, I'm going to stick to watching from a distance. Best of luck.
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Old 10-29-2007, 01:30 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,764 posts, read 40,065,026 times
Reputation: 18068
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
why don't straight guys respect easy women? there is a soul and life behind those eyes. An easy woman might just be a more innocent, misguided, and niave woman instead of a gross sex addict.

I think the men I fooled around with had disrespectful and more "evil" characteristics to begin with, they will never understand or grasp what it means to have respect for another human being. There are men who marry and then go and cheat on their wives. Obvious disrespect to the wife despite the "relationship" that was "formed".

I didn't consider myself too easy since I didn't go all the way and redundantly stated that I would not do so and chose to keep most of my clothing on. But it was enough to make me feel like I gave way too much of myself and have learned not to do so.
Hey, I am just quoting your own words. You best loving experience so far was a platonic gay relationship. So okay, your out of the closet, but stop being easy and you will find the respect and consideration that you seek. There are plenty of gay men out there, so there is absolutely no reason to rush the friendship and keep your new friends platonic until they prove themselves to be worthy of you.

And why else do you think that most gay men are incapable of loving and respecting you? If you are doing mostly one night stands, or dating men that are annoying or not attractive to you, or the FWB thing which is casual sex, then of course, others will not be respecting you because you don't respect yourself. Hold out and only date guys that aren't annoying or not handsome enough for you. But if you are that affected by their looks, then that makes you rather shallow imo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Yes I do enter the relationship (mostly one night stand,dating someone that annoys me or that I find not too attractive, or Friend with benefit) assuming but also noticing evidence that the other person doesn't honestly like me and wants to use me. I think most gay men are incapable of loving and respecting me. I've actually never had a loving experience before except from one gay friend and that was non-sexual. And in that situation I was giving a lot more than I was getting in return. Later he ended up turning some people against me and standing me up. So I ended that friendship.
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Old 10-29-2007, 02:24 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,853,425 times
Reputation: 7058
well both personality and looks were not to my likings in most cases.

Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
But if you are that affected by their looks, then that makes you rather shallow imo.
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Old 10-29-2007, 02:31 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,764 posts, read 40,065,026 times
Reputation: 18068
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
well both personality and looks were not to my likings in most cases.
Whatever. In any case, stop with the one night stands and friends with benefits thing with any guy that isn't someone that you would want to be in a long term relationship with. Being associated with substandard dates like that will turn off any potential quality gay men that were willing to go out with you. Show some discrimination in how you chose your dates dude!
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Old 10-29-2007, 02:37 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,853,425 times
Reputation: 7058
What do you mean by that comment.
Others will find out I went on a date with an idiot and then hate me for it???


Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Being associated with substandard dates like that will turn off any potential quality gay men that were willing to go out with you. Show some discrimination in how you chose your dates dude!
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Old 10-29-2007, 03:11 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,764 posts, read 40,065,026 times
Reputation: 18068
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
What do you mean by that comment.
Others will find out I went on a date with an idiot and then hate me for it???
It's more from your attitude about your own dates. But yes, word does get around, you yourself know very well that people gossip. And if you are see as someone who will date anyone, even a loser, then yes, they will respect you less.

For instance, a girl dates an ugly annoying guy and her girlfriends immediately respond with an "ewww.... gross." And straight guys that are found to have dated unappealing girls are usually razzed by their buddies too.

Are you for real?
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Old 10-29-2007, 03:28 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,853,425 times
Reputation: 7058
Well that sounds sort of superficial to degrade someone just for going on a couple dates with an annoying person. It isn't like a deep relationship or anything. haha but ya I can get the picture on how people might say eewww or roll their eyes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
It's more from your attitude about your own dates. But yes, word does get around, you yourself know very well that people gossip. And if you are see as someone who will date anyone, even a loser, then yes, they will respect you less.

For instance, a girl dates an ugly annoying guy and her girlfriends immediately respond with an "ewww.... gross." And straight guys that are found to have dated unappealing girls are usually razzed by their buddies too.

Are you for real?
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Old 10-29-2007, 11:00 PM
 
Location: New Mexico
631 posts, read 2,439,959 times
Reputation: 331
I know that feeling. Had a legitimate thread moved once. Can't believe how I felt after that! How silly.

I read your thread about you were better looking then your roomate & he didn't invite you to the B-day party. I'm not gay, can't relate, I wonder does it make a difference? My answer was you are better looking and not to have you there was to decrease competition. He can be the better guy for a change w/o you there.

I would think the feeling of being used would answer gay or not.
The above posts were really thought out and I think would answer your question.
But to go out on a limb here, people will use you.
But do you bring it on? Are you desperate for an engagement?

I still think when you're not looking, the right person will come along.
Did you settle for less and now wondering what happened?

It's an emotional attachment or not.
I'm not gay, I have a guy. Trust me, if it was not right I would sure feel like you. Used.
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Old 10-29-2007, 11:02 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,195,928 times
Reputation: 55551
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Hey guys

I know most of you already do not like me. I doubt it is because I am gay. Not sure. But I thought I'd try again.
How do you get over feeling used and disliked by guys in general.
I don't mean to sound superficial and rude but I think I am a good looking guy and pretty smart and friendly.

So I am not too sure what gays want but I have felt used and disliked in the past, like I was never enough, and never really felt appreciated or liked by any gay man except for maybe one guy who was a friend. Is this normal? And how do I get over that slimey gross feeling of being used.

Thanks.
Have a nice week
best wishes
counseling? possible codependency issues?
as a counselor and go from there.
stephen s
san diego ca
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Old 10-30-2007, 01:35 AM
 
4 posts, read 9,762 times
Reputation: 13
You actually stated the reason why you enter into the relationship--so let me ask you this "DO YOU THINK IT IS RIGHT TO EXPECT FROM ANYONE NOT TO USE YOU WHEN YOU ARE ENTERING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP WITH SUCH A WRONG REASON, ATTITUDE AND ASSUMPTION?"
As much as you can notice or assume what other person is up to; don't you think they can't sense or notice your attitude or read your body language?
Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated, whether gay, straight or undecided.
If you know what you want out of relationship and you enter one by lowering your expectations, going against your belief(principles) than you will never be satisfied or find the right person.
Nobody asks you to give anything that you don't want to give freely to another person- but when you still do why are you disappointed of another person?
Don't you think loving and giving should be from the heart, not because you are expecting to get something in return?
Until you don't prioritize what you value the most in relationship and what you think is wrong to do and until you don't stick to that, you will always end up on the emotional roller coaster.
If people don't appreciate you for who you are be HAPPY that you are aware of that, because you know who you are and those that don't value that they should stay out of your life because they don't share certain values that you do (what ever they might be). I understand you don't want to be alone, but you still have respect from yourself and you should be proud of that.
My personal motto is: I RATHER BE ALONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, THEN WITH SOMEONE MISERABLE AND UNHAPPY.

I strongly believe that you are hanging around wrong crowd--not that you should change your friends, but maybe you should try to hang around people that have a positive impact on you and value same things you do.

You are gay , I am straight female in my late 20's-but still i once felt the way you do, I once entered the relationship with wrong reasons---my point is ---we all make mistakes and go through very similar things in life, but instead of thinking what other think of you and what other wants from you---work on your weaknesses and focus on the main reason why you feel the way you feel because you only know the real reason and mostly those answers we find when we look at our childhood, or our parents.....

If you can't be happy with yourself when you are alone- than trust me nobody will every be able to make you happy.
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