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04-10-2013, 11:35 AM
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3 posts, read 8,136 times
Reputation: 10
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I've been seeing someone for 2 months, he just got out of a 4 year relationship so I haven't pushed him to commit. Things have been going amazing the last little while, sex is great, together almost everyday. Last night we laid everything on the table and talked about possibly taking the next step soon since everything is going so well, and we both decided to tell each other about other flings we've had while dating each other. He dropped the bomb that he slept with his ex a couple times when we started hanging out, because he wasn't sure if she was the one that got away. He was honest and I believe him when he said that it was over and he wanted to be truthful with me that it just didn't work and he is more interested in me. I also was dating and hooking up casually, so I suppose I cant be a hypocrit. Can a relationship work ? I feel jealous and at times think about it and get mad.. am I being silly?
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04-10-2013, 11:44 AM
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Location: Reno, NV
5,944 posts, read 9,963,377 times
Reputation: 10549
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You are being silly, IMO, since you did the same, just with random strangers instead of an ex. It sounds like he was honest, and got her out of his system, so to speak - which is good, right?
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04-10-2013, 11:48 AM
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Location: NY
177 posts, read 349,636 times
Reputation: 229
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You'd rather find out before making any kind of commitment that he had seen his ex, rather than after.
It does take a while to get someone out of your head and if you believe him that it's over now, are happy with him and can let it be in the past that's a good thing. If it will always bother you that he was with his ex, then let him go before you get more attached.
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04-10-2013, 11:54 AM
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Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,127 posts, read 9,705,006 times
Reputation: 11780
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How can you be mad at him when you were hooking up with other people too? Even if you weren't you guys hadn't promised to be exclusive at that point. Sounds like things are headed the way you want them to, so I wouldn't worry about it.
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04-10-2013, 11:57 AM
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Location: NYC
2,427 posts, read 3,839,686 times
Reputation: 2291
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some things are better left unsaid
however, yes it can certainly work here. try not to dwell on it. good luck
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04-10-2013, 11:57 AM
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Location: Wyoming
9,727 posts, read 20,197,072 times
Reputation: 14804
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Quote:
Originally Posted by court4444
... I also was dating and hooking up casually, so I suppose I cant be a hypocrit. Can a relationship work ? I feel jealous and at times think about it and get mad.. am I being silly?
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You were doing the same thing. If he can forgive, you should be able to forgive too. Or, more accurately, there's nothing for either of you to forgive. Just forget. |
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04-10-2013, 12:00 PM
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Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 18,649,063 times
Reputation: 11695
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Until you and the person your dating reach a point where you commit to being exlcusive to each other then there is no expectation of exclusivity. 
He slept around, you slept around, now the two of you are building a relationship and thinking of taking it to the next level (whatever that means in this instance).
So, commit to an exclusive relationship and see where it goes. |
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04-10-2013, 12:34 PM
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Location: Pa
42,757 posts, read 50,682,983 times
Reputation: 25334
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Your fine. Unless he goes back to his ex.
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04-10-2013, 12:41 PM
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3 posts, read 8,136 times
Reputation: 10
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theres another issue. does anyone ever think that it's a good idea to step back if there has been a significant ex in your man's life? take chances or put your gaurd up
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04-10-2013, 12:46 PM
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35,097 posts, read 48,504,231 times
Reputation: 62555
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Quote:
Originally Posted by court4444
I've been seeing someone for 2 months, he just got out of a 4 year relationship so I haven't pushed him to commit. Things have been going amazing the last little while, sex is great, together almost everyday. Last night we laid everything on the table and talked about possibly taking the next step soon since everything is going so well, and we both decided to tell each other about other flings we've had while dating each other. He dropped the bomb that he slept with his ex a couple times when we started hanging out, because he wasn't sure if she was the one that got away. He was honest and I believe him when he said that it was over and he wanted to be truthful with me that it just didn't work and he is more interested in me. I also was dating and hooking up casually, so I suppose I cant be a hypocrit. Can a relationship work ? I feel jealous and at times think about it and get mad.. am I being silly?
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So you were not exclusive to each other and he spent time with his ex girlfriend, big deal. Move on already, it really isn't your business anyway, it was more than likely a last ditch effort to retain the relationship that had so much time invested in it. If you continue to think about it and get mad that is YOUR OWN FAULT and he did nothing wrong. If I were him a I knew this fact about you I would run as fast as I can away from you in the other direction. After only 2 months you are still riding the high tide of a new relationship and new sex and you think it is time to move forward? You don't even really know each other outside of the bedroom the way it appears in your words. Slow down already, take some time and get over your pseudo jealousy or move on and find a man you know more than nothing about so you have no pseudo reason to be jealous. |
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