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Old 04-13-2013, 02:01 AM
10,024 posts, read 9,843,178 times
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I was wondering how people feel when they aren't invited to weddings? I feel a mixture depending on the reasons.

1. Wedding 1. This one isn't really a rejection at all but figured I would throw it out there. A friend got married out of town at the circus. Yes you read that right, she was marrying a clown at Ringling Bros. She got married at a performance and only a select few people went, such as her immediate family. I don't even think her one brother attended but maybe he did. No friends attended. However when she came back up here she had a party to celebrate her wedding. I suppose I could have gone to her wedding but wasn't going to travel anyway. I wasn't hurt I wasn't there or that I found out after the fact. I was happy she found someone.

2. Wedding 2. I have these two friends I will call "Julie" and "Liz". Years ago I talked to both of them regularly but in the last few years I've really only talked to Julie with an occasional email from Liz. The last couple of years my only contact with Liz has been her arguing with things I have posted on a message board (we all met on a message board for a rock band and used to get together often). Long story but we were all part of a larger group of friends but conflict caused several friendships to be destroyed and in fact Liz really kind of sided with the other friends over me and Julie. Anyway we found out Liz was getting married and she invited most of the former friends but not me or Julie. Julie was very upset but to be honest I wasn't upset at all not being invited because I didn't expect to. Julie kept emailing Liz asking why we weren't invited and Liz unfriended her on Facebook (me and Liz were never friends on Facebook but were on MySpace). A year later Julie is STILL upset.

3. Wedding 3. This didn't happen to me personally but to my parents. My parents had these two sets of friends I'll call "Jack and Jill" and "Tony and Tina". My parents originally met Jack and Jill through mutual friends and became friends with them as well. They happened to meet Tony and Tina along the way and figured they would introduce the two couples and they could come over for dinners along with the other mutual couple. As it turned out Jack and Jill and Tony and Tina hit it off MUCH better than they figured because they had more in common than my parents. I should mention that Jack and Jill were not married at this point but got married a few years later and both Tony and Tina were in the wedding while my dad was an usher. He was a little disappointed he wasn't a groomsmen but was still honored he was an usher. A year later both couples were over at my parents house for dinner while Tina and Jill were talking about an upcoming wedding shower. My mom figured out that it was for Tina's son who was getting married. My mom and dad weren't invited to the shower (it was coed)but they never gave it thought until my dad happened to call Jack and Jill to invite them over for a dinner this one Saturday. There was a pause then Jack (assuming my parents were invited)asked why they weren't going to Tony and Tina's son's wedding. My parents were not invited and to make it far worse, they found out people who weren't that close to Tony and Tina (and didn't even know the son)were invited. They were hurt and broke the friendship because of this. My parents believe they were not invited because Tina is very judgmental towards a few things they do (like smoke but not in front of her).

3. Wedding 4. My parents got a save the date when his then boss's daughter was getting married and my mom was invited to the shower. She didn't go but sent a gift. Not long afterwards my dad got fired (there was corruption). Because he got fired he was not invited to the wedding. They didn't care because they weren't going to go anyway.

Would any of these hurt your feelings? have any not invites hurt you? The one not invited my parents experienced upset them bad.
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Old 04-13-2013, 12:26 PM
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I am never hurt over not being invited to a wedding. The people I care most about would always invite me, but for outlier friends or bosses -- I consider that a social obligation and I just despise those events. I go, and I make the best of them, but I'm not happy about it.

I'm not really sensitive in that way -- the "take offense" way. I've had people say things to me that infuriate others for me, but for me -- it's water off a ducks back. I had one person tell me I had a pretty face, if I lost weight I'd be stunning. I just laughed. My husband already thinks I'm beautiful.

A co worker heard the woman tell me that and steam was coming from her ears she was so ticked.

For me -- I've got better things to do than be hurt.
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Old 04-13-2013, 01:34 PM
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For me it would depend on my relationship with the person and the wedding. For instance if the one friend got married around here instead of in Florida yes I would be hurt not being invited but I know I would be invited. I've known people who didn't invite me to weddings but wasn't hurt because I wasn't that close to them or to the person getting married (like a child of theirs).

I forgot to mention a situation where I was hurt not invited. My former best friend came over and said she was marrying her then boyfriend. I have a bit of a backstory with him because he originally wanted to date me and I rejected him because I don't date high school dropouts who don't want to work. He's also physically repulsive to me because he doesn't bathe, brush his teeth (he's missing teeth)or dress in clean clothes. However my friend fell in love with him and came to tell me they were getting married. I told her to really think about it before she married because she would be making all the money and cleaning and cooking. She got mad at me for being honest and months later re appears at my door having married him. I later found out she had a somewhat large wedding, invited people at work she wasn't even close to, but didn't invite me, who was supposed to be her best friend. I didn't tell her not to marry him, I even had a truce with her husband (as in let bygones be bygones), I just told her she should wait until he got his stuff together. The sad thing? she never apologized and I took her back as a friend. Long story short we are no longer friends because of other things she has done to me since that (including swearing at me in public).
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Old 04-13-2013, 01:42 PM
Status: "No longer very optimistic." (set 29 days ago)
Location: Coastal Georgia
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I just think you should count your blessings, and get much better friends.
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Old 04-13-2013, 01:49 PM
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The one friend I should have dumped years ago even before she didn't not invite me. She is basically trash and will always be that way. Haven't seen her in 5 years (don't miss her either)though did see her at an event I attend but she didn't see me. My other friend mentioned is nice and we haven't talked that much in the last few years (she travels with the circus)but that one I am not even upset at all about not going because it wasn't a reception or anything at all.
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Old 04-13-2013, 03:24 PM
Location: Gotham
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I wouldn't care one bit if I wasn't invited to a wedding. In fact, I'd be happy.
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Old 04-13-2013, 03:27 PM
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I've never been to a wedding, other than my mother's. I do not have any close friends that have found a marriage partner, but if they don't invite me, then I guess it's a sign that the friendship has fallen apart or I am just not that much of a friend.
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Old 04-13-2013, 03:28 PM
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,292 posts, read 13,534,626 times
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Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
I was wondering how people feel when they aren't invited to weddings?
There were probably a few thousand weddings today. I wasn't invited to any of them.

Didn't bother me a bit
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Old 04-13-2013, 03:30 PM
Location: Up in the air
19,109 posts, read 28,093,912 times
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I'd be pretty hurt over the clown wedding. That one sounds AWESOME.

I'm not a huge fan of weddings, and the only ones I'll agree to attend are small backyard affairs. Luckily, my friends see weddings the same way I do for the most part and are all planning small outdoor affairs.

The only wedding I can honestly say I was hurt over not being invited to was a coworkers wedding whom I'd worked with for 5 years. He invited our entire department including the 2 guys who had worked there less than a year and I was the only one not invited. That was a bit of a sting for me, especially afterwards when my coworkers asked me why I didn't go. They assumed I was the 'bad guy' for not attending and when I told them I was never invited it got a bit awkward.

I've had 4 friends get engaged over the past few months, and my best friend asked me to be the best man in his wedding, so this fall/summer will be interesting.
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Old 04-13-2013, 03:32 PM
Location: Pa
42,762 posts, read 47,384,987 times
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I was invited to too many. Friends and family members. They are nice at times.Rather go to them than be in one. Pick out your own dress and such.
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