Really could use some opinions re: guy I've been dating (girl, single)
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OP here. Yeah the whole 'shutting the door in my face' thing struck me as odd because it was so out of character in relation with how he'd treated me thus far. He was always walking me to my car and asking me to text him to let him know I got home safely. Things ending like that just kind of felt off. I was raised to make sure whoever I'm with gets safely to their car...I watch my friends when they leave all the time and then wave goodbye when they're inside. I just thought that was common courtesy but maybe I'm wrong?
Regardless, he actually called me tonight so I suppose I was overthinking the whole thing. He did tell me that he's going to be busy with work for awhile so who knows when/if I'll see him again but at least he didn't leave me hanging.
I really do appreciate all your responses. I've had 2 long term relationships and feel really out of my element in the dating scene. I'm still trying to get my bearings.
You're not "overthinking" things, he just told you what you needed to know. Again, he's not that in to you. I know that is harsh and it hurts but it's better to tear that band-aid off than pull it off slowly.
TRUST me on this one. I pulled mine off slowly and God did it hurt...badly. Never again. Please don't do this to yourself. Find someone else.
You're not "overthinking" things, he just told you what you needed to know. Again, he's not that in to you. I know that is harsh and it hurts but it's better to tear that band-aid off than pull it off slowly.
TRUST me on this one. I pulled mine off slowly and God did it hurt...badly. Never again. Please don't do this to yourself. Find someone else.
Yes...he paid for everything...except for the time we went to the movies and he agreed to let me buy the popcorn. I did offer to pay or at least split the check every time he took me out.
Well, if he's complaining to his buddies about that then he's lying. Sex was not the issue.
I'm almost 31 years old and I'm keeping all my options open for meeting someone and right now that includes Internet dating. I've used other sites in the past but have had the most luck with OkCupid.
I agree with you...3 days isn't long at all. The only reason it seemed unusual to me was because we'd been in contact every day. Going from every day to that was the red flag for me. And I'm really not hypersensitive. I did brush it off, it just kind of stung that as I left his house not long after we messed around he didn't even have the decency to make sure I got to my car ok in the middle of the night. None of this was ever mentioned to him, mind you, more like just random observations on my part.
Thank you all for your advice thus far. I do appreciate it.
I think he is dating others, just like you should be doing. I wouldn't be having sex yet. I also think he should have walked you to your car.
I'd keep my options open. He is definitely not romantic.
Nobody is THAT busy at work that they won't make time to see, or at least talk on the phone with, someone that they are developing feelings for.
This guy is brushing OP off in so many ways!!! The rescheduling, the door incident, days without contact, and now "too busy at work."
OP, you deserve someone who treats you like a princess, who makes you feel cherished and special and who never leaves you wondering where you stand or how he feels. And when you find THAT man, you'll wonder why you wasted one moment trying to hang onto this thoughtless bozo.
What are you talking about?
How did you turn this:
in to that?
Seriously? What don't you understand? OP has been trying to figure out where she stands with this guy, now he tells her he will be "busy at work for a while," so she's not sure when or if she will see him again.
You asked "Has no one ever been busy at work before?" implying that his excuse could be a genuine reason that he doesn't have time to see her.
If he was truly into her, even if he truly was going to be busy with work for a while, he wouldn't blow her off with a cold statement like that. He'd assure her that he still wants to get together, he hates that work is preventing him from spending as much time with her as he'd like, he has really been enjoying getting to know her, etc. OP didn't mention that he gave her any such assurances.....just a "too busy with work" blowoff.
Busy at work... I sometimes work 18 hours days. Sometimes I am even out of town working those 18 hour days. But you know what, I can still pick up a phone and call someone I care about. Sure, I might not be able to see them and do something, but really a 5 minute phone call to say hello and "I am thinking about you and can't wait to see you again," is easy in this day and age where cell phones outnumber people. Is this guy she saw working 24-hour days with no phone around him or something or is he completely clueless on how a phone works? Get real. Unless he's working in a warzone with controlled and limited communications, not calling is a choice he's made.
Last edited by jillabean; 04-17-2013 at 04:49 AM..
I'd say that he has met other cuties on OKCupid and is playing the field, this is not unusual on dating sites.
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