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being attracted to good looking jerks is not about race or gender at all.
we need to question our feelings.
all the questions u asked him u already knew the answer to.
when we want something too much we compromise ourselves.
the secret to happiness is lower expectations.
the secret to self respect and peace is not doormatting to get what we want.
I know you don't want to hear this, but really you just need to rip off the band aid and cut off all contact.
Yes it will hurt. You have to push past the hurt. One day it will hurt a little less, even if it takes a while. Then with time, you can get back to normal.
Maybe part of you will always feel a little something, but you need to get it down to easily ignored background noise as opposed to a full on roar.
Kick him to the curb and keep busy. Accept it will hurt a lot and you will cry. Enlist some friends to help you stay strong. But if you don't do it, you'll do this dance or a long time and keep yourself from meeting a real match.
He's a mirage. Don't hold up your life over a mirage. Dreams can be very seductive. You have to wake yourself up.
I know you don't want to hear this, but really you just need to rip off the band aid and cut off all contact.
Yes it will hurt. You have to push past the hurt. One day it will hurt a little less, even if it takes a while. Then with time, you can get back to normal.
Maybe part of you will always feel a little something, but you need to get it down to easily ignored background noise as opposed to a full on roar.
Kick him to the curb and keep busy. Accept it will hurt a lot and you will cry. Enlist some friends to help you stay strong. But if you don't do it, you'll do this dance or a long time and keep yourself from meeting a real match.
He's a mirage. Don't hold up your life over a mirage. Dreams can be very seductive. You have to wake yourself up.
I met this guy in college and I can honestly say he had me at hello. (although I will never admit it to him) Physically he is a perfect 10 which makes getting over him that much harder.
He is a classic case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When asked a question like, "Have you found true love?" His answer is always, "still waiting for you." Although I knew he was lying, I still loved it. There are many times I just wanted to jump on him and made him mine and only mine, I knew this would never happen. He has many many many women, and he would never settle down with the one and only.
I am glad that we've never slept together. When I was in a committed serious relationship, I barely thought about him. But as soon as my relationship ended, he would be the first guy I'd call. We could talk on the phone for hours and he would offer the funniest, weirdest, yet the most constructive advice. When I felt emotionally connected to him, He'd disappear for month. When I told him, "please quit smoking, it is not good for your health." He would say, "sheesh, why do you have to be so emotional all the time, you are not my mother or my girlfriend. get over yourself, you are not helping." Ouch!
He has this strange power over me I cannot explain. The only "power" i have over him is that I haven't slept with him. I never will. If I did, I would be addicted to him for life perhaps.
We've known each other for over 10 years. I am in my late 20s and certainly I am not a little girl anymore, but my heart can still dream. There are many times I just wanted to jump on him and made him mine, but I knew he could never settle down.
The best solution is to cut off all the communications with him. Like the other poster pointed out, it is easier said than done. He's like a drug which I will always be addicted to.
I truly love him as a friend, this is the scary part.
I wish you all the best of luck. Truly wish I have an answer for you. I feel powerless being so weak, but he drives me crazy in so many different ways. I understand what you are talking about op.
The bolded cracked me up because I understand it so well. I know that if I'd slept with "my guy", tsk, I'd be in a lot worse state than I am in now. Would probably be skipping work too. I am so glad I held out, even though it was seriously, seriously difficult. My body was strongly drawn to his.
Thank you for sharing your story.
The bolded cracked me up because I understand it so well. I know that if I'd slept with "my guy", tsk, I'd be in a lot worse state than I am in now. Would probably be skipping work too. I am so glad I held out, even though it was seriously, seriously difficult. My body was strongly drawn to his.
Thank you for sharing your story.
No problem!
Don't sleep with him, I know it is easier said than done.
I will never sleep with my bad boy, I will always be the woman he cannot get! =)
I love my ex boyfriend, he is a perfect 10. He's the one I respect, rely on, love and admire.
Of course I will always love and care about my bad boy. This is the dirty secret I will take to my grave! =)
the cravings for jerks in your life can be broken. its just as real as dope as some of you have posted.
here is a great place to learn to break that anaconda relationship. works for me. http://www.sdccoda.org/
I know you don't want to hear this, but really you just need to rip off the band aid and cut off all contact.
Yes it will hurt. You have to push past the hurt. One day it will hurt a little less, even if it takes a while. Then with time, you can get back to normal.
Maybe part of you will always feel a little something, but you need to get it down to easily ignored background noise as opposed to a full on roar.
Kick him to the curb and keep busy. Accept it will hurt a lot and you will cry. Enlist some friends to help you stay strong. But if you don't do it, you'll do this dance or a long time and keep yourself from meeting a real match.
He's a mirage. Don't hold up your life over a mirage. Dreams can be very seductive. You have to wake yourself up.
Thanks Tinawina, but like I said, I can't do No-Contact with him. I tried it for a month and it almost killed me. I missed him terribly, I shed a lot of tears and my mind kept going to him. Part of the reason is like I said, I don't find guys like him often. More importantly, we both have similar backgrounds. We have a ton in common and we grew up similarly. Having some contact is better for me although I will cut down on initiating calls. Not that I do much of that anyway.....
I also keep a very busy life. During the week I work, come home, hit the gym, do some reading, browsing and if there's a fun meetup event I am interested in, I go. I am not just sitting at home twiddling my thumbs. This guy though was able to get under my skin in such a short time and in such a strong way. It hasn't been easy to forget him, even with all I have going on.
the cravings for jerks in your life can be broken. its just as real as dope as some of you have posted.
here is a great place to learn to break that anaconda relationship. works for me. San Diego County CoDA Welcome
Lol. I can't believe you are sending me to a codependent site. I don't think it is a codependent issue, it's more a one-sided inexplicable love attachment that refuses to see reason.
The best thing really is to stop talking to him. I know from experience it's a lot easier said than do. If you believe in prayer, pray on it. It always helps to have someone else to move on to.
I have someone that keeps popping back up every 6 months or so. I know he is a horrible person but I still let him back in. As much as I get irritated when he calls I still like it.
I actually started doing this last night.
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