Mistake you should never make

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by OzzyRules

You are taking a scenario that is way beyond anything I have been writing about. I agree with you, but it just doesn't apply to what I have been talking about.

It certainly might. It's not like this is exactly an uncommon scenario. The "creepy person" comes onto someone, she refuses, he decides it's her fault, he starts stalking her, perhaps he harms her. It happens every day and it starts somewhere. Sometimes, it starts just where you're talking about: the unwanted come-on, the blame on the victim. Then things progress and not in a good way.

So there is very very good reason NOT to encourage such an association. Okay, maybe the person won't turn out to be a stalker, or worse. But maybe he will turn out to be one of these things. It is the SMART thing to do to NOT encourage such an association as a person can not always tell who's going to fly off the handle and start stalking. If we did, such things would never happen; we'd always know when to nip them in the bud. We don't.

My advice is sound. I say to anyone reading this, DO NOT continue such an association. Don't be mean, but don't feel guilty for a minute for cutting the association off. If the person needs help, you can not be the one to do the helping. And as you can see from the OP's assertions, likely as not, the perpetrator will think you led him on, which can make things get even scarier.

Let people who need help, get the proper help. You are not the proper help and you have no "moral" (as the OP states) obligation to associate with someone who makes you feel creeped out or scared.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by OzzyRules

I already explained that this thread was directed only at people who were too introverted to deal with it properly.

Being introverted isn't a crime. You don't need to direct anything at them. By your reckoning, the cashier who smiles "have a nice day" or "may I help you" at a customer who then thinks she's "interested" in him would have some obligation to that person when he returns several times to try to ask her out.

Wrong.

[Dayton Sux]

Someone who gives you a creepy vibe, though perhaps worthy of pity, could also be very unstable.

Yeah, I made this mistake with my current lover. Should have followed my first instinct that this was a creepy character.

But I didn't and let the relationship simmer, figuring we were two lost souls, then it got serious, I found out more, started to put 2 & 2 togther, and now i am wanting to backpedal.

I plan on sort of cooling the relationship before ending it. Sort of a let down easy thing, because he is unstable, but more worried he'd hurt himself, not me.

[kat949]

Fine line. Sometimes, some things are better left unsaid, because being honest with that person may have repercussions. I.E., they become vindictive. Best to keep a distance but be polite.

For the most part, I'd be more comfortable with setting my boundaries and not compromising with someone who obviously doesn't respect my wishes or how I feel.

An unreciprocated emotion doesn't warrant being lead on, because that person can feel even more betrayed afterwards. They need to respect that the feeling isn't mutual without being so bitter. No harm done in keeping a distance.