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Old 04-17-2013, 09:37 AM
 
119 posts, read 245,028 times
Reputation: 101

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Nevermind.


Thanks all!

Also, if this thread could be deleted thats fine, thanks.

Last edited by Micio; 04-17-2013 at 10:59 AM..
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Old 04-17-2013, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Davenport, Iowa
2,472 posts, read 4,207,430 times
Reputation: 3432
What did he do to annoy you?
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Old 04-17-2013, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,844 posts, read 13,205,283 times
Reputation: 9247
Quote:
Originally Posted by Micio View Post
I'm a firm believer in that a man who loves you will respect you 100%.


I went out with him and a group of his buddies the other night. Everything went well and it was fun. His friends were nice, respectful, etc.

We all went back to one of his friend's apartments and my boyfriend did something I found somewhat annoying, so I gave him a look instinctively without thinking. No one probably noticed this but him.

He then says in a joking & exageratted voice "Let me be a maaaaaaaan". No one laughed or found it funny. None of his friends said anything.

I didn't say anything, I just stopped engaging him. I didn't like that joke or think it was funny at all.


Is this disrespectful of him? Am I being too sensitive. We are very serious and have been together for a long time and are making plans for the future but this really pissed me off. Would a man who is in love and serious about a woman act this way?

Did I miss something here? What exactly was it that he did???
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Old 04-17-2013, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,495,521 times
Reputation: 40198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Micio View Post
I'm a firm believer in that a man who loves you will respect you 100%.


I went out with him and a group of his buddies the other night. Everything went well and it was fun. His friends were nice, respectful, etc.

We all went back to one of his friend's apartments and my boyfriend did something I found somewhat annoying, so I gave him a look instinctively without thinking. No one probably noticed this but him.

He then says in a joking & exageratted voice "Let me be a maaaaaaaan". No one laughed or found it funny. None of his friends said anything.

I didn't say anything, I just stopped engaging him. I didn't like that joke or think it was funny at all.


Is this disrespectful of him? Am I being too sensitive. We are very serious and have been together for a long time and are making plans for the future but this really pissed me off. Would a man who is in love and serious about a woman act this way?
Sounds more like you just hit a pothole on the dating highway -

It was enough to jolt you, not enough to wreck the car.

Look, this is what dating is all about - learning about one another!

Over time you see if the things you learn about one another are compatible with who you are as a person.

If they aren't, you move on and date someone else.

If this is the only off moment you two have had so far I'd say you need to give it more time.
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Old 04-17-2013, 10:05 AM
 
297 posts, read 501,577 times
Reputation: 387
Don't sweat the small stuff. If you were going to be critical of "man behavior" when he is with his "buddies", maybe you should go out with the girls instead.
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Old 04-17-2013, 10:08 AM
 
119 posts, read 245,028 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Sounds more like you just hit a pothole on the dating highway -

It was enough to jolt you, not enough to wreck the car.

Look, this is what dating is all about - learning about one another!

Over time you see if the things you learn about one another are compatible with who you are as a person.

If they aren't, you move on and date someone else.

If this is the only off moment you two have had so far I'd say you need to give it more time.
I can't imagine leaving him but if he is disrespectful that means it isn't love and I should leave him.

We have been together as adults for two years and before that we dated for three years as high school sweethearts. We have known each other for ten years and when we weren't dating we were just friends or living in different cities because of school.

He is the one who pursued me the whole way through and I didn't even want him when he chased after me two and a half years ago.

Now I love him and I can't picture life without him. He has brought up us moving in and maybe relocating to a new city together. He has even said he thinks I'm the one but I know some guys say that just to get more action.


I just can't bear to learn about horrible habits now, I feel like I'm in too deep.
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Old 04-17-2013, 10:11 AM
 
119 posts, read 245,028 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogluvr2012 View Post
Don't sweat the small stuff. If you were going to be critical of "man behavior" when he is with his "buddies", maybe you should go out with the girls instead.

Are you a woman or man? Either way, I suppose this is good advice. I guess as a woman who has never been around true "man behavior" it is a bit shocking for me. The only men in my life were the father figure types and one other boyfriend who was 10 years older than me and all of his buddies were married or pretty mature anyways.
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Old 04-17-2013, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,450,546 times
Reputation: 10809
Well, I don't understand what you are saying about what he did, or perhaps it's a reference to some pop culture thing I don't know about. What is it that you thought was disrespectful? At most, all I see is that he may have been a little foolish.
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Old 04-17-2013, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,495,521 times
Reputation: 40198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Micio View Post
I can't imagine leaving him but if he is disrespectful that means it isn't love and I should leave him.

We have been together as adults for two years and before that we dated for three years as high school sweethearts. We have known each other for ten years and when we weren't dating we were just friends or living in different cities because of school.

He is the one who pursued me the whole way through and I didn't even want him when he chased after me two and a half years ago.

Now I love him and I can't picture life without him. He has brought up us moving in and maybe relocating to a new city together. He has even said he thinks I'm the one but I know some guys say that just to get more action.


I just can't bear to learn about horrible habits now, I feel like I'm in too deep
.
Sorry honey, that's a BIG RED FLAG.

Look, you started dating in HIGH SCHOOL and are still young adults now - there are going to be "bad habits" to learn about whether or not you can "bear it".

It is simply unrealistic at your age to think otherwise.

You seem willing to have firm boundaries, which is good, BUT, you and he are both still growing up into who you will eventually be.

If you don't think you love him enough to bend and compromise a little to who he is shaping up to be then your fantasy of real love may be causing you to have unrealistic expectations of relationships.
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Old 04-17-2013, 10:36 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,914,439 times
Reputation: 15256
Quote:
Originally Posted by Micio View Post
I can't imagine leaving him but if he is disrespectful that means it isn't love and I should leave him.

We have been together as adults for two years and before that we dated for three years as high school sweethearts. We have known each other for ten years and when we weren't dating we were just friends or living in different cities because of school.

He is the one who pursued me the whole way through and I didn't even want him when he chased after me two and a half years ago.

Now I love him and I can't picture life without him. He has brought up us moving in and maybe relocating to a new city together. He has even said he thinks I'm the one but I know some guys say that just to get more action.


I just can't bear to learn about horrible habits now, I feel like I'm in too deep.
I think it was an honor for you to even be invited to be out with him and his Buddies.

You have avoided answering what he did that would make you give a look.

I once owned a fancy hot rod car and took an old girlfriend for a ride. When I was just having alittle fun with my car I took off fast and squealed the tires a bit. What came out of her mouth was, "Oh, your cool." (like I wasn't cool) If I wasn't the nice guy I am she would have heard me say, "let's see how cool you look walking."

At any rate...you have to be careful what you do or say as to not offend somebody.
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