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I'm now 36 years old,and pretty much been by myself my entire life. Besides a few sporadic, fluke one night stands that I had throughout my 20s. Where the girls in a drunken fervor practically rapped me. lol...Which was perfectly fine with me being as shy as I am. But other than that I've never been in a real intimate relationship with a girl. But always have wanted to be. Just have never really had the confidence or drive in how to go about it. But here recently I've been really trying to do so through various dating sites. Communicating back and forth through emails...I've gotten a few numbers here,and there. But it all seems like a superficial work to me. Is it because I'm just shallow? Or is it because I am really only looking for sex. I don't know...I'm just frustrated with the whole process of it. I'm like..."How in the world will I ever be able to keep a relationship thriving if I get into one". And as fleeting as the relationships are these days. How will I be able to handle it if my heart gets crushed in the process. If I fall in love...I want it to be forever with the same freaking girl. I guess....
There are certain things that only experience can teach you. This issue seems to be one of them. I'd say, if this is what you want, give it a try. You may get hurt and burned, but that is life.
(I really don't have the answers, this topic just caught my interest)
IMO, it's more than worth the effort. I spent a little over a year, exchanged emails with nearly 1000 women (anything from 1 to dozens of emails and IMs), met about 50, dated a bunch, and found a pretty amazing match. This time all is great even after many years - definitely worth the effort. That was after a very disappointing long-term relationship, though - from which I still learned a great deal, even if it was mostly what to avoid.
Your experience and success will depend on how much you want a real relationship, the kind of relationship, and what you have to offer in return.
There are certain things that only experience can teach you. This issue seems to be one of them. I'd say, if this is what you want, give it a try. You may get hurt and burned, but that is life.
(I really don't have the answers, this topic just caught my interest)
Thx for responding. I just think way too much about everything.lol
I think along similar lines, I've been single for a long time but the couple of relationships I've been in I've gave my all and been walked over.........I think now is it really worth trying again? yes I'd love to be with someone that I love for the rest of my life and be happy but part of me feels like that's a childish fantasy of "happily ever after" that's never going to happen yet the other part looks at my friends and family in relationships and see's its completely possible.
I don't want to be on my own but I don't want the heartbreak and confusion that comes with some relationships.
IMO, it's more than worth the effort. I spent a little over a year, exchanged emails with nearly 1000 women (anything from 1 to dozens of emails and IMs), met about 50, dated a bunch, and found a pretty amazing match. This time all is great even after many years - definitely worth the effort. That was after a very disappointing long-term relationship, though - from which I still learned a great deal, even if it was mostly what to avoid.
Your experience and success will depend on how much you want a real relationship, the kind of relationship, and what you have to offer in return.
Unfortunately I like beautiful women. And it seems like way more work than I am willing to put forth. I feel like I'll have to be a professional entertainer to keep her...
1000 women! Wow...that's just insane for my ADD brain to try to even fathom. Just setting up one date seems to be an immense hurdle for me.lol...Most of these girls just want to email for ever. I on the other hand...feel like I going through a kind of mid-life crisis. Feeling like life is passing me by,and I've yet to even have any success in doing what "normal" people have been doing like brushing their teeth since high-school lol.
Unfortunately I like beautiful women. And it seems like way more work than I am willing to put forth. I feel like I'll have to be a professional entertainer to keep her...
Perhaps if they're shallow. If you have depth, that will captivate just as much or more. I'm fairly average, but my wife is beautiful. She also has depth, and that is the real basis of our relationship.
I think along similar lines, I've been single for a long time but the couple of relationships I've been in I've gave my all and been walked over.........I think now is it really worth trying again? yes I'd love to be with someone that I love for the rest of my life and be happy but part of me feels like that's a childish fantasy of "happily ever after" that's never going to happen yet the other part looks at my friends and family in relationships and see's its completely possible.
I don't want to be on my own but I don't want the heartbreak and confusion that comes with some relationships.
I'm sorry to hear that.
The thing with relationships is that when they work, it is a beautiful thing. When it is dysfunctional, it is deeply damaging.
It is very important to find a foundation and a center that you can rely 100% on. If you don't have that, then relationships have a greater likelihood of failing.
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