A Story for CDR that happened to me (boyfriend, girlfriend, married)

[srjth]

*There's a question at the end of this tl;dr for those who get bored along the way*

So, I have this girlfriend who I hang out with who is always telling me that I need to get a boyfriend. She wants me to get a boyfriend sooo bad. Anyways, I live in a really boring town where just about everyone is married anyway, so it's not often that I run into a single guy that I like.

About a month ago, I went into an office that I do some business in and there was a new guy who had started working there and we had a very brief chat (maybe 2 mins tops). I had business to take care of and couldn't stick around to chat and he was at work and had to keep working, but it was clear that there was some instant attraction/chemistry between us. Our eyes met, eyes lit up and we both were kind of giddy and the whole nine. I went about my business in the office after that and so did he and that was it.

Later that day I was hanging out with my girlfriend and I told her about this guy I saw earlier and that he worked at this office (she does business there too). She told me she saw him too when she was there a few days prior and that he was a new employee. We laughed about it and I forgot about it/him the next day.

Maybe a week goes by and I go back to that office again and he's there. This time I was looking a mess (I forgot that he would be there, hahahaha) and almost hoped he wouldn't recognize me enough to talk to me and realize how hideous I look when I roll out of bed. But he did recognize me and was super friendly. He (well, we both did) started acting giddy again and awkward and he commented that I looked differently dressed. Then he started complimenting me, which made me uncomfortable (but I enjoyed it still!) because I knew he was at work and his coworkers, who were probably watching him and critiquing his performance on the job, were standing right next to him listening to our convo. One thing I remember he said was that he told me I had the prettiest smile he'd ever seen. It was enjoyable but awkward and a minute or two later I walked into the office a few feet away where I had business to take care of.

While I was out of his sight, I called my girlfriend up and told her that this guy we were talking about is here again and what he said. Then she insisted that he liked me and that I flirt with him and talk to him and stuff. I told her that I can't because he's at work with his coworkers right now glaring at him and he's probably on probation being new on the job anyway, and what would we have to stand around and talk about? So she told me that I should slip him my number written down on a little piece of paper with my name and to call me as I'm leaving. So I did and he took it with no comment. It was kind of hilarious actually how smooth I did it. lol He asked me what my name was again, I told him, then I asked him what his name was again and he told me and then I smiled and said, well it 's nice meeting you "X" and extended my hand with the paper with my number on it to shake his hand and passed it to him during the handshake.

That was on a friday, and I hung out with my girlfriend again later that evening and she and I were convinced that he would not only call me but probably as soon as he got off work (that's how much he was giving off vibes that he liked me). My friend asked me if he was wearing a ring but I wasn't entirely sure but didn't think so because I would have seen it if he had one on.

Well, not only did he not call that night but he didn't call that weekend either. I assumed after the weekend that I was simply mistaken and that he did not actually like me and was maybe just super friendly and nice to people, you know? I was admittedly dejected but what can you do?

Anyway, it's at least 4 weeks later now and I had gotten over that but I had to go back to that office again. I knew I might see him but I had no desire to make him uncomfortable or myself, so I was just going to smile, say hi and be normal. I wasn't expecting him to act any different either. Well, when I walked past him (it's unavoidable not to be next to each other due to the office set up) he was super stand-offish and cold. Not mean, but just purposefully and unnaturally distant and almost avoidant. I thought to myself, okay, well it's confirmed now, he doesn't like me and I was mistaken before and now he just wants to avoid me now that he knows I like him. I also saw for sure that he had no wedding ring on.

I left the office but had to come back again later that day to return something. The second time we were face-to-face, he, again, acted super stand-offish and avoidant. So it was confirmed again. I wasn't hurt or anything though by this. I had figured he didn't like me already when he didn't call and had time to get over it.

So I had to spend a couple of hours in the office not in his physical presence (well I didn't see him but I wasn't looking for him either) and when I left the building and was walking in the parking lot to my car, I hear someone calling out behind me. I turn around and it's the guy RUNNING towards me, asking me to wait, wait.

Naturally, I was surprised to see him coming towards me and said something goofy I think. He ran up to me and told me that he wanted to explain why he never called me. He apologized and told me that he thinks I'm gorgeous and that he would totally take me out but that he was "kind of involved" (which means married to me). He complimented me some more and I said it's okay I kind of figured you were and he apologized again. Then he grabbed my hand and said that he wanted to give me my number back and he gave me the same paper with my number I wrote on it back to me. He was really nice about it but I was shocked that he gave it back to me and kind of awkwardly laughed. He said that he would have came to talked to me inside but I seemed like I had business to take care of. I said yeah and that I have more and will be back again. He said, "Oh yeah, when?" I told him, I may come back with my friend next week but otherwise, it won't be until June. Then we chatted a little about her and then said bye and parted ways.

So, what stood out to me about all this is that he kept my number for all these weeks instead of throwing it away, and also that he gave it back to me. So, tell me CD folks why do you think he gave me my number back?

(PS - this is just mental masturbation about something that really happened before any of the smartalecks start :P)

[AverageGuy2006]

Maybe he gave it back to give you the impression that since he doesnt have your number anymore, he will NEVER call you.
Maybe he is married and faithful. Or involved and faithful.

But all the compliments are odd from a guy who is 'involved'.
So he likes flirting, and obtaining phone numbers, but then he doesnt call?

Weird. Plus, with cell phones, its not like he couldnt have put ur number in his phone and still call you, even without the paper.

[akck]

I think he was trying to be honorable. First, he didn't want to be tempted since he's in a relationship. Second, he didn't want you to think he just blew you off. Returning your number accomplishes both.

[lastwomanstanding]

I really don't know what to make of it. My first guess is he just randomly realized he had it in his wallet and wanted to return it since he didn't ask for it in the first place. It is very strange though.

[Dewdroplet76]

Maybe he is in a newer relationship and couldn't decide how serious it was at first. And then maybe he didn't want to have your phone number around to tempt him anymore.

[srjth]

Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006

Maybe he gave it back to give you the impression that since he doesnt have your number anymore, he will NEVER call you.
Maybe he is married and faithful. Or involved and faithful.

But all the compliments are odd from a guy who is 'involved'.
So he likes flirting, and obtaining phone numbers, but then he doesnt call?

Weird. Plus, with cell phones, its not like he couldnt have put ur number in his phone and still call you, even without the paper.

He didn't ask me for my number, I gave it to him.

Originally Posted by akck

I think he was trying to be honorable. First, he didn't want to be tempted since he's in a relationship. Second, he didn't want you to think he just blew you off. Returning your number accomplishes both.

Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding

I really don't know what to make of it. My first guess is he just randomly realized he had it in his wallet and wanted to return it since he didn't ask for it in the first place. It is very strange though.

I thought both of these things too.

[Raena77]

He was contoplating what to do. Cheat or not. He thought you were hot but his conscious got to him.

[caesarsgirl79]

It does sound like he was trying to do the right thing. He could just be in a relationship and not married.

I think it's good he let you know why he never called. It probably wouldn't have been good to call and say I can't talk to you lol. At least you aren't wondering anymore. I don't think it matters that much why he held on to your #. IMO it was nice that he didn't just trash it and never mention it again.

[jaypee]

Isn't there a standard 30-day return policy on unused phone numbers?

[srjth]

Yeah I think maybe he just stuffed the number in his wallet that day and forgot about it but he thought I was nice (he was flattered) and wanted to say no but thank you and that was the way he did it.