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I do wonder how many people are actually in love with the person they're married to. I believe a lot get married because it's the societal norm, not because they want to.
Maybe people can be in love without getting married or even living together, just to keep the government out of their relationship.
Maybe you can and that would be great. Why do you care what other people are doing, tho?
Then what's the argument about? That you think some people think they are better than you because of this or that? Who cares.
I guess you failed to sense the sarcasm in that post. I didn't want to give away the sarcasm to quickly. When I said that married people are better than unmarried people.I've heard it in real life but that isn't my personal belief.
I'm sorry to hear that Raena. But honey believe it or not you're still young - and yes compared to me when I got married at 40 years old.
You're just facing a normal reaction when you find out your ex has found someone else. However trust me if you want love again, you will find it. All you need is a heart that is open to it, and that's all it takes. Well that and flirting with a man you find attractive with those big, beautiful blue eyes of yours.
I went through that phase too, I really didn't think I'd ever get married and even wanted to pursue overseas missionary work instead. God had different plans though.
Thank you Ginger. Your success story gives me hope. Flirting check. Lol Thanks for the compliment pretty lady.
Maybe you can and that would be great. Why do you care what other people are doing, tho?
For the same reason you people wonder why others prefer to be single. I find that married people are more concerned about others' private lives than vice versa.
For the same reason you people wonder why others prefer to be single. I find that married people are more concerned about others' private lives than vice versa.
Being interested in the lives of others is not the same as putting others down. I might be interested in my friends lives - whether or not they want to get married and/or have children, what they like to do in their spare time, what kinds of foods they like to eat, etc. That's because I'm interested in them. It's not the same thing as putting down everyone who lives their life a different way than I do. The world is a more interesting place because we are all so different. What works for some doesn't work for others. I have friends and family that never got married. I have friends that have lived with their SO for years. I have friends that are married with children. The only thing that I care about is whether or not they are happy.
Last edited by Dewdroplet76; 04-19-2013 at 07:30 PM..
For the same reason you people wonder why others prefer to be single. I find that married people are more concerned about others' private lives than vice versa.
Indeed I'm not going to be asking about their private life because I don't care. People are so curious into others' private lives and when it isn't the norm then they get all curious as to why. Then they assume I had a crappy childhood or I'm a terrible human being. Whatever. They can believe but keep to yourself. Don't ask me about it. I don't ask about your life. Why be interested if you have no intention of putting it under the microscope?
When I went to America, I had two relationships that "failed". One of them was a long-lasting one and it ended in an awkward way, and I got over it. Second one was rather inconvenient and I had to abruptly end it because I got relocated across the globe for the next five years... or so the papers should've claimed.
At that point I had a simple vision - once you end with your studies and have a job, make sure you make to start a family with a woman you find suitable for marriage and make sure to raise your children well. First one that "failed" was during time when I wasn't ready anyways, second one I had to end because I wasn't in position, but after that point I considered myself quite able and was willing to marry. Never in my life did I even ask myself about marrying or not, because it is only a consequence of securing OTHERS at my own expense, and so should the other side do.
Boy was I wrong when I came in America and it completely rewoke this whole concept. I thought that I'd establish myself and then with my good salary it'd be an easy task to find some native woman and start a family in USA. Wrong. Not only that all the women were unsuitable for various reasons (they generally aren't the ones any sane person would bring to their home), but the whole culture is highly toxic. Whoever says that finding date is a problem, is wrong. Finding a date that is what you want (someone for serious marriage) is a serious deal. Careful insight and old wisdom helps you to spot who they are within several dates and then you just want to persuade yourself that what you concluded isn't true - but it just is. Then you waste your time, money, energy, seeking for a serious date, and you keep realizing the same time, then you once again "cancel" another person that you were going out with, because they're into fooling around and spending great time showing around instead of having any vision that you hoped they'd have. One day they might change their mind, but the other things will disqualify them... and this scenario happens again and again - you seek for a date, get disappointed in what you see around yourself, you move on... until you realize after many dates that people you seek just aren't there on places that you seek, or they are very unlikely to be there anyways. And on top of that, there are just numerous troubles for you ahead that it is just not worth it.
On top of that, general attitude is highly destructive so I'm not surprised why so many guys have negative view of marriage. I've figured it out on my own after awhile and I came to conclusion that I don't want to date anymore and I decided to find someone from my native country. I even researched an option to become single parent in case I never get the chance (enough time) to get back and seek for a woman, get to know her and her family, and then decide about it. I still hold that ace in my mind - it'll mean that I'll raise someone else's child while that other person is laughing and having a great time, but I'll have peace on my mind, that's how I see it.
All I can say is this - USA is such a great country when economical aspect is concerned. However, USA is terrible when it comes to social aspect or emotional quality of living. Real reason are people who live there and that's the advice I gave to all the folks at my home. They actually believe that an average person in USA is living terribly, but in fact a poor person in USA lives much better than an average person back in my native country. Only exception are people who are terribly poor - homeless folks. In my country such thing is virtually non-existent. Everything else - USA is just better.
I could keep on making observations why is that so, but that's really of little relevance. All I want to say is that I'd not marry in USA and never will. I'd not marry someone from USA even though I'd benefit by getting citizenship. It's just too much hassle. Kudos to all folks who do, you know the whole culture better. Large number of people who marry are immigrants. Many of immigrants who worked with me married during their time in USA, mostly within 1-2 years of residing in the States. They generally won't marry a native person anyways. And anyone who does is exposing themselves to series of disappointments and misery, which unfortunately isn't a rare occasion at all - it is widely present and people should just look a bit better to see it with their own eyes.
/nald
I guess you failed to sense the sarcasm in that post. I didn't want to give away the sarcasm to quickly. When I said that married people are better than unmarried people.I've heard it in real life but that isn't my personal belief.
I do fail to follow your reasoning. I don't understand the point of the conversation. When I was single I didn't care what other single or married people were up to, nor do I care now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by West of Encino
For the same reason you people wonder why others prefer to be single. I find that married people are more concerned about others' private lives than vice versa.
You really think I care about what you're doing? Trust me, nobody cares what you're doing (unless you're curing cancer or doing something of interest). I care what my mom is up to, my husband, friends, my job, my daughter...not you or why you're single. I find it very bizarre and self involved that you would think that.
Indeed I'm not going to be asking about their private life because I don't care. People are so curious into others' private lives and when it isn't the norm then they get all curious as to why. Then they assume I had a crappy childhood or I'm a terrible human being. Whatever. They can believe but keep to yourself. Don't ask me about it. I don't ask about your life. Why be interested if you have no intention of putting it under the microscope?
You actually share your business on this forum. Dew noted that earlier. That to me is bizarre, but even more bizarre that you don't recognize it and then flip your switch and say people give a fig what you're doing.
I do fail to follow your reasoning. I don't understand the point of the conversation. When I was single I didn't care what other single or married people were up to, nor do I care now.
You really think I care about what you're doing? Trust me, nobody cares what you're doing (unless you're curing cancer or doing something of interest). I care what my mom is up to, my husband, friends, my job, my daughter...not you or why you're single. I find it very bizarre and self involved that you would think that.
Well, making assumptions on other people's personal lives and sometimes nosing through what others say prove otherwise.
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