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The point was, in the first five minutes, you ask me what I do? Seriously? Are people really this bad at conversation that they cannot possibly find anything else to talk about?
Why not? Like I said, what you do says a lot about you. If someone asked me to describe myself - what I do would be one of the first few things that I mentioned. Why would it mean that you can't find anything else to talk about? Being interested in what someone does for a living is something to talk about.
It's not often that I agree with you but on this one, I do wholeheartedly. I'm the type that likes to get to know someone first before meeting up, although I prefer the email exchange or IM more than the phone. (I seriously hate the phone.)
I think one can learn quite a bit about someone just by what and how they write that cannot be concealed.
I also find it utterly boring when someone asks me those judgmental questions, "So, what do you do for a living?" Ugh.
I also dislike, "What do you do for fun?" Sigh...seriously? Is that as creative as one can get? How about just talking about various things and letting the conversation flow naturally?
Anyway, I'm going to have to mark this day on my calendar: A day I agree with TVSG 100%.
What do you like for fun is the stupidest question anyone can ask me and I instantly get turned off
The point was, in the first five minutes, you ask me what I do? Seriously? Are people really this bad at conversation that they cannot possibly find anything else to talk about?
Yeah is another one of my favorites in the first 5 mins................"when is your birthday?"
Why not? Like I said, what you do says a lot about you. If someone asked me to describe myself - what I do would be one of the first few things that I mentioned. Why would it mean that you can't find anything else to talk about? Being interested in what someone does for a living is something to talk about.
No, it doesn't say a lot about me. It says what I do to make money.
The people I have had the most connection with are the people who are creative and fun and don't stick around in that boring box that most people sit in.
Eventually what I do will come up but I find it incredibly boring that the person can think of nothing else to start a conversation.
What do you like for fun is the stupidest question anyone can ask me and I instantly get turned off
Isn't that the same thing as asking what you do in your spare time?
I hope you list all this on your dating profile so that, heaven forbid, someone doesn't ask you the wrong question - or the right question in the wrong way!
No, it doesn't say a lot about me. It says what I do to make money.
The people I have had the most connection with are the people who are creative and fun and don't stick around in that boring box that most people sit in.
Eventually what I do will come up but I find it incredibly boring that the person can think of nothing else to start a conversation.
I'm a musical theatre performer. What I do for a living is creative and fun.
Oh well. I've never really been single so I guess it doesn't matter if I'm incredibly boring and ask people what they do for a living!
I'm a musical theatre performer. What I do for a living is creative and fun.
Oh well. I've never really been single so I guess it doesn't matter if I'm incredibly boring and ask people what they do for a living!
That's pretty neat and I'm sure it would be very interesting to talk about but there are other things about you, are there not?
I'll give you an example of what kind of things get me going: Many moons ago, I answered an ad, (yah, I did that thing one time), from a guy that in his photo, was kind of strange, but his written answers to those questions on the profile were hilarious. His very first words in describing himself were, "I am bi-pedal..." and it got sillier from there.
THAT is the kind of person I connect with very well. We did connect very well. I even went down to see him we connected that well and we had a blast. The only thing that kept us apart was that I lived in WA, he lived in CA and I didn't have money to move and was scared of me running out of money..but we thoroughly enjoyed each others company from the very start because neither one of us asked the typical, dull questions.
In the end, what he does IS a very big part of who he is but we didn't start out talking about it. He is a colorist for Marvel Comics. He's good at it. But that was not the main focus of getting to know someone because he wasn't just a colorist for Marvel Comics, he was so much more...and that is what we focused on. His job, his career, he enjoys it very much and is proud of his accomplishments, as he should be, but that is not all he is and I want to know who HE is, not what he does.
Isn't that the same thing as asking what you do in your spare time?
I hope you list all this on your dating profile so that, heaven forbid, someone doesn't ask you the wrong question - or the right question in the wrong way!
That actually sounds better because most people will do things in their sparetime to help them relax.
That's pretty neat and I'm sure it would be very interesting to talk about but there are other things about you, are there not?
I'll give you an example of what kind of things get me going: Many moons ago, I answered an ad, (yah, I did that thing one time), from a guy that in his photo, was kind of strange, but his written answers to those questions on the profile were hilarious. His very first words in describing himself were, "I am bi-pedal..." and it got sillier from there.
THAT is the kind of person I connect with very well. We did connect very well. I even went down to see him we connected that well and we had a blast. The only thing that kept us apart was that I lived in WA, he lived in CA and I didn't have money to move and was scared of me running out of money..but we thoroughly enjoyed each others company from the very start because neither one of us asked the typical, dull questions.
In the end, what he does IS a very big part of who he is but we didn't start out talking about it. He is a colorist for Marvel Comics. He's good at it. But that was not the main focus of getting to know someone because he wasn't just a colorist for Marvel Comics, he was so much more...and that is what we focused on. His job, his career, he enjoys it very much and is proud of his accomplishments, as he should be, but that is not all he is and I want to know who HE is, not what he does.
I understand that - but I don't understand the idea that the mere question of what you do for a living as being the worst, most horrible, most offensive, most boring thing you could possibly ask and that the only people who ask it are horrible, offensive, and boring.
It's just a question.
I don't think I've ever had a conversation with anyone that seemed like an interview (except for my aunt one time, because she was basically interviewing me to see if I was motivated enough for her to give me some money to help me out on my career path after college. I failed her interview. Worst lunch of my life.). Most conversations either flow or they don't - but it's more about the 2 people involved than the exact questions involved. You either "get" someone or you don't.
I understand that - but I don't understand the idea that the mere question of what you do for a living as being the worst, most horrible, most offensive, most boring thing you could possibly ask and that the only people who ask it are horrible, offensive, and boring.
It's just a question.
I don't think I've ever had a conversation with anyone that seemed like an interview (except for my aunt one time, because she was basically interviewing me to see if I was motivated enough for her to give me some money to help me out on my career path after college. I failed her interview. Worst lunch of my life.). Most conversations either flow or they don't - but it's more about the 2 people involved than the exact questions involved. You either "get" someone or you don't.
I just said boring. I never said they were horrible or offensive, just boring.
And you hit the point, that's just it...for me, the conversation doesn't flow when someone asks that question.
"What do you do for a living?"
"I clean toilets at Disneyland."
"..."
"..."
I mean, really. There is so much more to a person than what they do.
(The above example is something my brother did for a very long time while he went to school. Would he have been turned away for that answer? He's a very successful Mechanical Engineer now who has patents so, hey, he's more than just a toilet cleaner at Disneyland. He's also extremely artistic...unbelievably talented..., he canoed the Mississippi River by himself...has the best sense of humor out of anyone I know, besides myself...but you would never know that if you didn't just start talking to get to know him.)
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