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REALLY? Really? I mean really? OF COURSE he opened with some made-up stuff, HALF THE WOMEN OUT THERE WILL CALL YOU A CREEP IF YOU JUST COMPLEMENT THEM. They'll literally think you're some kind of rapist.
How about you women get together and make a decision about what's appropriate?
A) Calm down, please.
B) How long should a woman just stand there involved in meaningless banter until we know the guy is going to ask for our number? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? I've been talked to for around that by strangers and had to excuse myself from the conversation because they were not dropping any single hints that they were trying to get a number or ask for coffee. This might be okay to do in a park setting, but in the grocery store while I'm standing there holding a gallon of milk and a bunch of other small things? There's a time and a place.
You're asking for advice and I'm giving you some. It's not bad to approach a woman outside of the bar scene, just be mindful of making sure she knows you're interested in her and not interested in wasting her time. Not all women are the same and I know a ton that would not call you a creep for complementing them up front. What kind of image of women do you have??
"They'll literally think you're some kind of rapist." Are you kidding me??
You need to work out some personal issues before you go approaching women. If you don't, you'll scare them off by thinking they're angry vengeful b-words. We can tell when that's running through your mind.
Chill out dude. Being a creep isn't that bad, worst that could happen is getting MACEd
Of course, this is city-data. The land of where complementing a woman in a subtle, classy way = creep that's trying to warn you that you'll be getting raped in the next 5 minutes.
They'll literally think you're some kind of rapist." Are you kidding me??
No, No I'm not. A LOT of women have the "creepy" bug, where the second they're slightly uncomfortable around a guy, a mere millisecond's worth of conversation pause, and they label you "creepy".
I tried once to help out one poster with this (JetJockey), but she still couldn't see it. She literally lumped in her close, long-known guys friends in with guys who groped her on a first date, couldn't see the cognitive dissonance.
Though it's to be expected most women will only listen to other women's terrible advice and/or never admit they're wrong.
No, No I'm not. A LOT of women have the "creepy" bug, where the second they're slightly uncomfortable around a guy, a mere millisecond's worth of conversation pause, and they label you "creepy".
I tried once to help out one poster with this (JetJockey), but she still couldn't see it. She literally lumped in her close, long-known guys friends in with guys who groped her on a first date, couldn't see the cognitive dissonance.
Though it's to be expected most women will only listen to other women's terrible advice and/or never admit they're wrong.
Why do you let this bug bother you?
If they think you should not be given a chance, on to the next one.
The thing is, a woman out and about minding her own business does not owe anything to a complete stranger. If she's interested, then great, but if she's not attracted to him, or she gets a weird vibe from him, or if she just wants to pay for her groceries and go home, then that's more than okay (and certainly not wrong.) I get that it takes guts for a guy to make a cold approach, but he's got to understand that more often than not the woman isn't going to be interested or available.
It's better to approach in places or situations where she is expecting to socialize or engage in a group activity - dance, volunteering, class, gym, what have you.
The thing is, a woman out and about minding her own business does not owe anything to a complete stranger. If she's interested, then great, but if she's not attracted to him, or she gets a weird vibe from him, or if she just wants to pay for her groceries and go home, then that's more than okay (and certainly not wrong.) I get that it takes guts for a guy to make a cold approach, but he's got to understand that more often than not the woman isn't going to be interested or available.
No, No I'm not. A LOT of women have the "creepy" bug, where the second they're slightly uncomfortable around a guy, a mere millisecond's worth of conversation pause, and they label you "creepy".
I tried once to help out one poster with this (JetJockey), but she still couldn't see it. She literally lumped in her close, long-known guys friends in with guys who groped her on a first date, couldn't see the cognitive dissonance.
Though it's to be expected most women will only listen to other women's terrible advice and/or never admit they're wrong.
I don't have any advice for your type of men that doom themselves to a long, painful dating future with these kinds of nonsensical notions.
So, maybe you are creepy! You are quick to blame the women, but if so many of them are put off by you, is it beyond your ability to stop and consider your technique or body language? It's just logical to assume if they're flocking away from you, maybe you can take advantage of your confidence while tweaking a small detail of your approach.
So many of you men that are angry at women and label them as ALL OUT TO GET YOU don't realize you need to gain a healthy attitude towards dating and not taking things so personally.
Not all women will throw themselves at your feet. You're not EVERYONE'S cup of tea, peanut. Get your foot out of your behind and learn to forget about the women that reject you and move on to the next without this ugly attitude of, "women will never admit they're wrong blah blah."
It's better to approach in places or situations where she is expecting to socialize or engage in a group activity - dance, volunteering, class, gym, what have you.
Well said! Perfect advice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
The thing is, a woman out and about minding her own business does not owe anything to a complete stranger. If she's interested, then great, but if she's not attracted to him, or she gets a weird vibe from him, or if she just wants to pay for her groceries and go home, then that's more than okay (and certainly not wrong.) I get that it takes guts for a guy to make a cold approach, but he's got to understand that more often than not the woman isn't going to be interested or available.
Right?? I feel so sad for men out there who feel entitled to our numbers or attention when they're approaching us at a probable inopportune time, ie. grocery shopping or a doctor's appointment. Jesus. Just recognize you're taking a risk and if you can go ahead with the approach, good for you and your confidence abilities, but if it doesn't work out don't make us out to be nasty b******! Self entitlement is so unattractive.
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