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This is such a dilemma for me. On the one hand, I'd love to be married and have a family. On the other hand, its so hard to find someone, that I have almost given up. I make half ass attempts at online dating, but thats about it. I hired a matchmaker who was a complete waste of money, so not using her anymore. I really don't know what to do. I guess I have to accept the strong possibility that at my age (44), it just isn't going to happen and is hopeless. Living where I do makes it even more hopeless. I can try to fill my life with hobbies, work, etc., but will never be really happy alone. Maybe time to accept my fate though.
I haven't quite given up, but its not looking good. 31, never had a girlfriendm still a virgin, 5"4, below average looks. The only thing I've got to go on or can improve is my confidence, personality & my attitude. The scary thing is being single has never overly bothered me, always had other stuff higher up the priority list & its the same righrt now. I think into my late 30's/40's is when it could start getting a problem, but ive never felt lonely.
Half wondfering if its best to forget about woman for now, or at least give them a way lower priority in my life and concentrate on the other satuff i want to do, maybe I'll feel more confident and better as a person if I achieve them.
I thought of this thread today. I saw a woman I know this morning, in her 60s, married since she was 19. She asked what I've been up to, and I had a really great day yesterday--it was beautiful here in NJ, the first full day of summer and great weather. So I told her that I went to a flea market held in one of the county parks in the morning, where I bought two nice pictures for framing from a local photographer who photographs places in my area, then I went to the beach, where the water is still too cold for my taste but that I sat on the beach and read for a few hours. Then I went home, made a nice dinner, and went out again to another nearby county park to walk on their 2-mile trail and wait for sunset to take photos of the "Supermoon". I stayed there until after it was dark (park closes at 9:30) and saw deer coming out of the woods and bats flying overhead... and she said, "And you do all this ALONE?" She didn't say it offensively, just sort of in wonder, as if she couldn't imagine such a thing. I said, "Yes, I am not just going to sit home and hide in my house and not do things just because I have no one to do things with."
I live near the Jersey shore, and there is so much to do here, especially at this time of year, but even all year. We have beautiful county parks, and an OCEAN, and there are always free concerts going on and art shows and whatever. Yes, sometimes I would have liked to have someone to do things with; for example, today there was a "Win and Wine" event at the nearby horse track--a wine tasting from NJ wineries plus you could then watch/bet on the races if you wanted to. I wanted to go, but that's something I would rather do with another person, and there isn't anyone I know available who would go to something like that with me. Maybe I could get over that, but I did feel a little weird picturing myself a single older woman hanging out at a racetrack alone sucking down samples of wine and picking horses to bet on, lol. With a friend it wouldn't look so bad.
I might very well be doomed to always be alone, but I will still enjoy life.
... I guess I have to accept the strong possibility that at my age (44), it just isn't going to happen and is hopeless. Living where I do makes it even more hopeless. I can try to fill my life with hobbies, work, etc., but will never be really happy alone. Maybe time to accept my fate though.
My attitude is this: we don't always get everything we want in life. I am grateful for the wonderful parents and family life I had, my good health, the many adventurous travels around the world, the good luck I had in acquiring my beautiful Victorian house at a bargain price, the quality of excellent friends and buddies I have, and so on.
There are fulfilling substitutes for being in a romantic committed relationship.
Life is what you make of it.
My advice to other single people is to never be angry or bitter about it. Maybe it was not meant to be. You have no way of knowing this, but maybe being married would been have hell for you.
Any man who is 50 or 60 and has given up on love needs a trip to russia or the ukraine. There an old bald man is sexy
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquamarin
not funny
I don't think scaramouche was trying to be funny.
For those of us more "mature" gents there are other countries that are not so focused on youth and beauty. From my travels I discovered that what constitutes "attractiveness" varies from one society to another.
In many Latin American countries fellows over, say, 45 are appreciated has being still handsome and distinguished. This is true for many places in Asia and especially South-East Asia. The trick is to be very well groomed and dress beautifully. Look dapper and distinguished. If you have elegant manners and a intelligent demeanor you will have a date every night from a different admirer.
My attitude is this: we don't always get everything we want in life. I am grateful for the wonderful parents and family life I had, my good health, the many adventurous travels around the world, the good luck I had in acquiring my beautiful Victorian house at a bargain price, the quality of excellent friends and buddies I have, and so on.
There are fulfilling substitutes for being in a romantic committed relationship.
Life is what you make of it.
My advice to other single people is to never be angry or bitter about it. Maybe it was not meant to be. You have no way of knowing this, but maybe being married would been have hell for you.
Wasn't intended to be. Only in the white western nations where feminism has run amock +south africa is the idea of a 50 year old man with a good job, who is stable and level headed, doesn't drink too much and beat his wife is seen as boring and dull rather than sexy. Western women want fun and adventure. the rest of the world has that and knows there is nothing sexy about a psychotic boyfriend who\d rather grow his hair to his butt sleep in his own vomit and get in heated argument with women than to work a real job. Putin was voted the sexiest man in russia
For those of us more "mature" gents there are other countries that are not so focused on youth and beauty. From my travels I discovered that what constitutes "attractiveness" varies from one society to another.
In many Latin American countries fellows over, say, 45 are appreciated has being still handsome and distinguished. This is true for many places in Asia and especially South-East Asia. The trick is to be very well groomed and dress beautifully. Look dapper and distinguished. If you have elegant manners and a intelligent demeanor you will have a date every night from a different admirer.
Agreed
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