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while giving away rights on his house and paying off the rest of the bank loan instead of paying alimony. they were both well-off financially (his wife is a teacher and he's a programmer).
They bought a house before marriage while they were preparing for the wedding, from what I know (or I think so, it never came to my mind to ask him that directly). I doubt that it would matter much if it was before or after, but I'm not a lawyer. What I know for sure is that he was paying off the bank loan, which would arguably make it "his house" that they were dividing, but apparently it doesn't matter either who bought it on which name, or whose paycheck is deducted - she'd still be forced to pay half of the bank loan that's left, and each of them would get ownership of half of the property.
This was putting them into a situation where they would potentially lose the house due to her potential inability to pay her part and bank wouldn't care, thus all the money that was paid for years would matter next to nothing if they enter into trouble to pay off the rest. They negotiated their way to avoid such situation for the betterment of everyone.
Wasn't there a rule that doesn't allow children under 12 years old to be called on court? At least that's what I heard from folks who went through divorce.
They may not necessarily testify in court but may be "interviewed" by a family court "counselor" who can record their statements/findings in their report. That's what happened in my case, at least.
I don't regret my marriage because it wasn't all bad ... there were good and happy times too not to mention the kids. As far as the institution of marriage goes, I'm fine with it ... I just wish I had married the right person in the first place.
I realized things that I knew. However, I didn't apply my knowledge. It cost me lots of time, money, and headache. But, I gained wisdom. I could have done without the first marriage.
I wish I never got married. I definitely learned a lot from the experience and I think I'm a lot wiser and stronger now, but it was an awful experience. Going through a divorce at 26 was beyond painful. It ruined probably a year if not 2 years of my life. I had some doubts prior to marrying him, so maybe it was all my fault. I should have waited to get married until I was older and wiser and more capable of picking a better match. I always thought I would get married again, but now I'm not sure. I don't ever want to go through something like that again.
Yes, I grew in a healthy way. It forced me to look at, and come to terms with, my own short-comings and faults and how they could have a negative impact on a relationship and another person. It also showed me some good things about myself: That I have the objectivity and maturity required to accept responsibility for my own role in the demise of a relationship, that I can learn from it, and that I can move beyond hurt and anger so as not to be bitter or gun-shy.
I also came away with interests that threw me in my current SO's path, without which I never would have met him.
A more positive and better matched spouse would probably have made for even greater growth as well as happiness.
I had difficulty choosing how to answer the poll. I learned things that are important to me. We had many ways is which we were very compatible, and we had a lot of fun. But the marriage wounded me in ways that were hard to get over.
Financially, we divided things very amicably. We remain friends, which I am glad of.
Good story except the "everything happens for a reason." Like rape, innocent children losing limbs due to terrorist acts, poverty, disease, people getting hurt in car crashes by drunk drivers, earthquakes, floods, fires,and the list goes on and on...
Why even bother? Don't rep me.
Everything in my life has happened for a very specific reason. Yes, even the death of my parents. I could not see the reasoning in it when it happened, but many good things came from it, just like the good things that came from my awful marriage.
So that is my opinion. In my life, everything happens for a reason. I am not here to answer for why everything bad in the world happens so keep your crap to yourself.
Yes, no matter how they ended just the experience and the knowledge gained from those relationships helped me with future relationships and really taught me how Marriage actually is and what a partnership in Marriage is all about.
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