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Old 05-05-2013, 02:13 PM
 
1,341 posts, read 1,627,366 times
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Let me see: because they don't want to be with someone who has sex with other people?

And reasons for that are plenty. They maybe seek partner for life, such behavior has a very negative outcome even if they tend to ignore it. Also, there are sexually transmitted diseases that you'll encounter because "it wasn't your business to know" that someone "secretly" has sex with other people around. Another reason would be because of your children. Institution of bastardy is abolished, so even women will find their children affected in today's world - your "business" of potentially making babies (and pay attention - you cannot force a woman to abort, it's her decision) will affect your family outcome not only by you paying for child support. Worst thing happens when those children come to claim portion of your inheritance.
Not to say anything else when a woman does it - you will practically raise a child that is biologically not even yours, invest your time, money and energy in a lifetime work that you never would do for a cuckolded child, and law is completely screwed in such regards.
And not to mention all the traumas that result from either sleeping around while other party doesn't know it, or giving them a surprise by transmitting them AIDS or when they find out about your (or "their") offspring.
There are plenty of other reasons even when people have an open relationship. You won't accept those arguments either.

That is like when you have people who tend to promote i.e. polyamorous marital unions. They often claim that it's much better than the "traditional" marital union and then they mention various reasons why 2-folk relationship doesn't work, while disregarding the obvious arguments that polyamorous relationship contains and a much complex relationship and the same problems, plus exponentially more potential complications that a traditional marital unit won't encounter.
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:19 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,671,717 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pi64 View Post
Why is it someone's business whether you ever have sex with anyone else anyway?
I think that if you are just dating, you can keep it to yourself. But if the other person asks for exclusivity, that is the time to explain your viewpoint.
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,620,823 times
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If I'm into someone enough to be in a relationship or be married to I don't want to be with anyone else. I would prefer that other person liked me enough to feel the same way.

I do know people in polyamorous situations and it seems to work well for them so I'm very happy they're happy. For me, however, that wouldn't work. It's not even jealousy necessarily...for me it would be the feeling of inadequacy because I obviously am not good enough to keep my partner happy and fulfilled in our relationship.
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,468,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
...for me it would be the feeling of inadequacy because I obviously am not good enough to keep my partner happy and fulfilled in our relationship.
Feeling that way does not make it true, of course, as I'm sure you realize. And I understand that it's not easy - or necessary - to change this feeling unless you want to. As I tell my wife (jokingly) whenever she says she feel inadequate about something (fortunately rare): "Honey, you're totally adequate!" (Jokingly, because actually she's awesome!)
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
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Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
Feeling that way does not make it true, of course, as I'm sure you realize. And I understand that it's not easy - or necessary - to change this feeling unless you want to. As I tell my wife (jokingly) whenever she says she feel inadequate about something (fortunately rare): "Honey, you're totally adequate!" (Jokingly, because actually she's awesome!)
I understand that, but if a partner was entirely happy in their relationship why would they feel the need to seek something else with another person/people? To me, that just doesn't make any sense.
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:43 PM
 
Location: palmsprings
324 posts, read 440,980 times
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No need to argue really. Some people just like to sleep around just to feel "they still got it"
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Reno, NV
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I understand that, but if a partner was entirely happy in their relationship why would they feel the need to seek something else with another person/people? To me, that just doesn't make any sense.
Perhaps it doesn't make sense because you may be innately monogamous. Many people are not naturally monogamous - many are naturally polyamorous or serial monogamists. It's often said that no one person can satisfy all our needs all the time - why do we expect that to happen in marriage without problems or outside desires arising?
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
Perhaps it doesn't make sense because you may be innately monogamous. Many people are not naturally monogamous - many are naturally polyamorous or serial monogamists. It's often said that no one person can satisfy all our needs all the time - why do we expect that to happen in marriage without problems or outside desires arising?
I can definitely see that point, but shouldn't a person be content and happy with themselves and thus not having to depend on another person to satisfy all of their needs? I mean, I'm pretty happy single and by myself and if I were to get into a relationship it would be nothing but icing on the cake. To be dependent on someone else for satisfaction to the point of needing more than one person to do so seems a bit narcissistic.

Granted, I'm probably not the right person to have an opinion on this since I've only been in one 'real' relationship that did not go well, so it's entirely theoretical on my part.
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,468,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I can definitely see that point, but shouldn't a person be content and happy with themselves and thus not having to depend on another person to satisfy all of their needs? I mean, I'm pretty happy single and by myself and if I were to get into a relationship it would be nothing but icing on the cake. To be dependent on someone else for satisfaction to the point of needing more than one person to do so seems a bit narcissistic.

Granted, I'm probably not the right person to have an opinion on this since I've only been in one 'real' relationship that did not go well, so it's entirely theoretical on my part.
Sure, but if you're happy in yourself then a relationship or two shouldn't matter at all, should it? And if one relationship adds icing, two or three may provide even more joy, love, caring, companionship, and fulfillment - all without any dependency.
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Old 05-05-2013, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,620,823 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
Sure, but if you're happy in yourself then a relationship or two shouldn't matter at all, should it? And if one relationship adds icing, two or three may provide even more joy, love, caring, companionship, and fulfillment - all without any dependency.
Perhaps. Personally, I find dealing with myself difficult. Add onto that dealing with the feelings of multiple other people? No thanks, that sounds exhausting and not at all fulfilling.
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