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Whenever I browse these forums, and posts by our legendary IDDY, I hug my Aussie gf tighter and thank God above that I moved out the US, if this is what I'd be dealing with
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeaveWI
I'm not characterizing ALL, of course, because that isn't fair-although putting most or all American men in one group seems to be Ok here, I'm just going off of personal experiences. There's a lot of decent ladies right here in this thread of course, but as far as out there in "real life" well, there's a reason why I posted that. Sad but true. I seem to have encountered more of the IDDY types as opposed to the decent ones from here. That's been my experience anyway. YMMV
You didn't need to say "all"..the way you worded your comment just kind of alluded to it imo. You found a gf that isn't like the OP. You just happen to find her in another country
Not intending, when marrying, to remain faithful to the spouse (simulation of consent)
One partner had been deceived by the other in order to obtain consent, and if the partner had been aware of the truth, would not have consented to marry
Abduction of a person, with the intent to compel them to marry (known as raptus), constitutes an impediment as long as they remain in the kidnapper's power.
The couple were under the influence of alcohol or drugs at the time of the marriage.
The union was not consummated.
Pay attention to these. Taco Man will most likely be able to prove your insanity. Also, I'm pretty sure you guys won't be able to consumate the marriage, as it will be like Taco Man is a hot dog just being thrown down an alley way.
Didn't the OP say, in a previous thread, that she would fake being a virgin on the wedding night ?
Grounds for Taco Man to make his escape right there - if it gets that far.
Just because someone has a certain requirement doesn't mean they aren't decent. That's a warped way of thinking that someone like me is less worthy than someone who has multiple marriages or worse multiple babies out of wedlock.
What's warped is your attitude towards decent people who live their lives the best they can, who somehow fall short of your over-inflated self righteous "morals"
Yes people can have standards, nothing wrong with that, but your horrible attitude towards those that fall short of your unrealistic expectations and standards, and how the nice posters here get stonewalled when they offer helpful advice and suggestions, that's what's warped
As far as your sense of worthiness, well you ARE less worthy than some women who may have remarried and/or have out of wedlock children-remember, your past isn't exactly spotless itself. What if all the men interested in you(taco man especially) were adamant about only marrying virgins, you'd be out of luck lamenting how close minded men are
You didn't need to say "all"..the way you worded your comment just kind of alluded to it imo. You found a gf that isn't like the OP. You just happen to find her in another country
Fair enough, my error. But if the genders were reversed in my post, I'm betting no one would have batted an eye
It's being honest, many widowers loved their first wives so much they compare future wives to them. I have seen it often.
My father remarried five years or so after my mother passed away.
And while his new wife did encourage him to sell the house we had all lived in and to buy a house for "them" (the other house was too big for them anyway), she also had no problem with the pictures of my mother that my father kept around the house, as well as a favorite picture of my mother that he kept in his wallet until the day he died.
Obviously not a generosity of spirit the OP shares.
You guys need to stop getting so fired up over the OPs personal beliefs. She does what she does, believes what she believes and is not going to change.
Most all of us have a different frame of mind and thought process as to what is right and wrong, what are good morals, etc.
While I cannot believe the things she says, I no longer try to say anything against them, I just try and add my thoughts on the initial OP, if I have any experience with what she is talking about.
Nothing you say is going to change the way she feels and what she believes is right/wrong.
You are wasting your keystrokes.
OP, I think the only way you would truly be able to understand anything about being a second spouse is if you had ever been a first spouse, and how that relationship went for you.
I always thought marriage was forever, but I learned differently. I could no longer handle the treatment that came along with my marriage and I tried for as long as I could. I think for even longer.
With that said, all of those years taught me what I actually wanted in life. It taught me that I wanted a man who would love me just as much as I loved him, or maybe even more. I learned so much throughout those trying times.
I can honestly look at my SO and just smile, knowing that I have everything I want in life right now. The first time around didn't go so well but I am able to look my ex in the eye and stand up proud and strong. He can now see me as a woman who is strong in love and life. He knows he brought me down, and he had control and power over me for so long. When he sees me now, it is just a memory. He knows that never again will he possess that power.
When I look at him, I also see a distant memory and am forever grateful for the loving, caring, wonderful man I have now. I can look at that ex and know that for me to go through what I went through with him was all worth it, if it brought me to where I am today....
I know what you are saying about a person who had lost a spouse to death. They did not lose that person by choice and they still hold them in their hearts.
If they are ever able to find love again, God bless them. If they have a special place for that person in their heart I think that is a good thing. We don't want a person who can just cast aside one that they loved and lost with no control of their own.
Everyone remembers special people in their hearts. I can think back to people that I dated very early on, and one in particular. He was very special to my family and to me. He was there for me when my father died when my ex husband was not. There will be a special place in my heart for him for the good person that he was to me even though I broke his heart.
All of these experiences are what builds us as people. Whether they be good or bad, they are life lessons. Some we want to forget, and some we just want to hold on, tucked in the back of our minds.
OP, I know you feel the way you feel about things. I can't change that. You do come across as harsh and uncaring, and it is hard for people to get past that. As for me.....I just know it is who you are and I am not going to change that.
If you don't think you are wrong about something, you aren't going to change it. We can't change people, they can only change themselves.
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