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I was upset more than mad because he's had to reschedule our last two dates due to work. He told me upfront business comes first but it's hard I suppose dealing.
Interesting. When was the last time you had a date with him?
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Ironically he just called. Said he loves me and sorry he had to spend a Sunday working. Said in a few weeks things will settle down and he will make it up to me. Our last date was last Saturday.
You will NEVER be happy in any relationship where you feel you should come first.. on ANY level.
Your boyfriend has a business and is trying to make a go of it. If you are disappointed, mad, upset, whatever because he had to reschedule.. how do you think you're going to feel once married and he has to be gone on business for your birthday, your anniversary, that date night... it is a pre-cursor already to failure.
i think what you want is great, but reality check... the older you get, the more likely you are to find men who have had a 1st, a 2nd a 3 rd marriage.. etc.. not to mention many that have had kids out of wedlock - but never been married.. (is that ok with you?)
narcissism comes in many forms and you are displaying the "me me me" attitude of a narcissist. I can understand the "catholic" limit. Some people religion is a deal breaker. But to go by Catholic standards - you should abide by all Catholic standards and not just the ones that fit your "wants".
It is a great fantasy to believe that you will be the center of someones universe, but that is not as likely to happen.. can it.. mmm. yeah.. if you want all the baggage that goes along with it.
Being the second spouse would not bother me. I might even consider it to be a better arrangement if my husband has learned something positive from his first marriage that he did not know before. It would only be a problem if he treated the first spouse better than me.
I am absolutely perplexed that you were upset that you felt you were competing with his work responsibilities. You've also said you don't want to date single dads because you want to come first.
But you are more than willing to marry someone who has lived in the same house with his mommy most of his adult life, and you will move into that house. You honestly think you would come first in that dynamic, living under the same roof as the MIL?
OP, keep something in mind. If you are in your 20's it is no big deal to find a man that has never been married before. If you are in your 40's or older you venture into a place where you hope a man has been married at least once. Anyone has to question a person in their 40's or 50's that has never been married. My ex mother-in-law married 2 men (she has had 3 marriages) that were in their 40's and had never been married or had children. Both were losers. They were not used to giving of themselves and thinking about someone besides themselves. They were selfish, odd, creepy, and not marriage material.
Being the second spouse would not bother me. I might even consider it to be a better arrangement if my husband has learned something positive from his first marriage that he did not know before. It would only be a problem if he treated the first spouse better than me.
This doesn't pertain to this particular guy but one thing I noticed when I dated divorced dads was how much they spent on their exwives but not on me. I realize of course they just can't but it bothered me and partly why I didn't date them long.
I am absolutely perplexed that you were upset that you felt you were competing with his work responsibilities. You've also said you don't want to date single dads because you want to come first.
But you are more than willing to marry someone who has lived in the same house with his mommy most of his adult life, and you will move into that house. You honestly think you would come first in that dynamic, living under the same roof as the MIL?
Dealing with an elderly mother in law is different than dealing with kids.
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