For the ladies who have online dating profiles... (wives, Asian, men)
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Why is this limited to women? Guys get weird messages too.
For instance I had one woman send me a message begging me to adopt her dog because she had to get rid of it due to her living situation or something. Not once had I had any interaction with her.
Do you think that the presence or increase in these weird messages makes it harder for you to respond to guys who send sincere messages that, to the extent possible, are tailored to your profile (it's hard to do if someone's profile is generic)? I've done online dating with very little success; never have I sent a lewd or inappropriate message.
Yes and no. If there's no interested on the other end then not much is going to 'make' her respond. Same goes with women messaging men...I have a VERY low response rate to my messages, even though they're nice, concise and interesting. If the person on the other side isn't interested, there isn't much you can say to pique their interest.
The guy I'm sorta seeing sent me a message that made a little joke about my height (I'm 6'1, he's 6'6) and mentioned two of our shared interests. This definitely got my interest because most men simply don't read the profile at all. I didn't think he was very attractive, to be honest, but the way he wrote was interesting to me. We met and he was super cute and we got along well. Online dating is a crapshoot, honestly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
"Hey, I liked your profile. I thought it was funny, warm and intelligent [insert other complimentary descriptors as needed instead]. I share your opinion about XXX.
How is your summer/week/winter/whatever going?
Your Name Here"
I mean there are any variety of permutations that would work. You start off positive and offer some kind of compliment. Find a commonality and remark upon it. Feel free to be witty/humorous if you're good at it. Ask a question that is nonintrusive but will tell you more about her.
It doesn't hurt to appeal to a woman's ego. But if you have nothing in common with her and are just emailing her because you like her picture, I wouldn't expect an answer back.
Keep it to a couple of brief (1-3 sentences each) paragraphs.
I'm on OKCupid and it's amazing how many guys will message me that have NOTHING in common with me and we have a very low match % and a very high enemy % and it's so, so obvious that they never even bothered to read my profile. Since I have tattoos, I get a lot of 'gangstas' and 'thugs' when I'm more into the IT and nerdy type. Thus is life.
I'm on OKCupid and it's amazing how many guys will message me that have NOTHING in common with me and we have a very low match % and a very high enemy % and it's so, so obvious that they never even bothered to read my profile. Since I have tattoos, I get a lot of 'gangstas' and 'thugs' when I'm more into the IT and nerdy type. Thus is life.
I had a dude who was a TEN PERCENT MATCH email me. I felt like writing back, "Man, I don't think we should meet. It would open up a wormhole or something." But I didn't - best not to respond, I'm figuring.
I had a dude who was a TEN PERCENT MATCH email me. I felt like writing back, "Man, I don't think we should meet. It would open up a wormhole or something." But I didn't - best not to respond, I'm figuring.
Lately, I'd say 90% of the men who have messaged me have been less than a 30% match and more than a 60% enemy. I do look at people's profiles and look at how they answered questions before replying and it's amazing how many complete deal breakers these people have. To me, it just means they're messaging hundreds of women hoping one will respond. That's not the type of guy I want.
Yes and no. If there's no interested on the other end then not much is going to 'make' her respond. Same goes with women messaging men...I have a VERY low response rate to my messages, even though they're nice, concise and interesting. If the person on the other side isn't interested, there isn't much you can say to pique their interest.
How do you gauge interest from a profile? Is it all looks based?
IMO, I'm no worse looking or less accomplished than the women I contacted through dating sites, but my response rate was horrible. I think my profile, while honest, was a bit drab/generic; I had trouble making it better.
How do you gauge interest from a profile? Is it all looks based?
IMO, I'm no worse looking or less accomplished than the women I contacted through dating sites, but my response rate was horrible. I think my profile, while honest, was a bit drab/generic; I had trouble making it better.
For some people it will be entirely looks based, for others they want to get a sense that they will have a connection with you. For me, looks don't matter nearly as much (and I've gone out with quite a few guys that were downright unattractive) but honestly, it completely depends on the woman. I've had girlfriends who did online dating and would easily reply to guys I would say no to, and I would happily reply to guys they would never in a million years reply to. Some women are into shirtless guys, or guys that show off their cars. I'm not interested, nor do I reply, to guys like that.
For me, I'm generally interested in guys that are into IT, sci fi, comics, board games, video games etc. because those are the things I'm into. If you recommend a book I should read, I'll probably immediately be interested in what you say, which was the case with this guy I'm seeing. He asked if I'd read Ender's Game and asked my opinion on the movie they're making. Boom. Question about something I'm super duper interested in. Give her a reason to respond.
I have gotten a LOT of requests for intimate encounters this week, and my profile specifically states NOT INTERESTED in such relationships.
Last edited by dragon_fly_12; 05-07-2013 at 06:07 PM..
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