Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was intrigued by RogersParkGuy's suggestion elsewhere that this is a female-only phenomenon.
The type of guy I date, like me, tends to have a period of a year or two after one LTR ends and before dating again. I always assumed that, like me, they did this on purpose. So much so that I never thought to ask!
I feel that this time period is necessary, to work through the issues of the old relationship so that they don't affect the new one -- or only in positive ways. Because of this, I have a rule for myself that I won't date anyone in a serious way if one of us is less than about two years out of their last srsbidnez relationship. (Casual is ok.)
I have also had other sabbaticals, when starting a business, for example, or focused on school or health issues.
But now I am curious to hear from people of all genders -- have you done this? Why or why not?
Yes, I've done this, mostly because I take my relationships seriously and I tend to want to process the information I've learned before getting into another relationship. I want to make sure that I'm moving forward in my life and so for me, if a relationship ends, or I get rejected, I go inward for a while and reevaluate my steps and choices. Nothing annoys me more than repeating the same mistakes over and over and over. So I'm big on growth.
Yep, particularly my first couple of years out of college. I was living on my own in a new city for the first time, and it was time to explore what I wanted out of life, and a relationship was a focus that wasn't nearly as interesting to me as just being on my own. I wasn't between relationships, I hadn't been in one in college, because people didn't really date where I went to school.
I ended a very LTR (7 years) very recently and i currently DO NOT want a relationship at all. Im thinking i would be like this for at least a year, probably more. Theres a ton i have to figure out before im able to be that vulnerable again.
I didn't think I wanted to be in a relationship after the end of a five-year long LTR, but I did want to be social (mostly didn't want to run the risk of becoming a depressed shut-in, so I forced myself to go out and socialize, almost from the get-go after the dumping). The result was that I ended up finding someone amazing after being on my own for a few months, even though I wasn't particularly looking to meet anybody. I was pretty cautious going in, because I wanted to make sure I was even ready to open up like that so soon. But he convinced me.
I wanted to take it easy after my last breakup, but low and behold a really nice woman came into my life so I might be entering into an LTR less than 4 months after the breakup. I've been frank with her and she is okay with this being a potential rebound ... We will see. I don't think there are rules and I'm personally not into doing a lot of dating ... Been there in the past. Some alone time might have been nice but do far we're accommodating one another in that regard.
Before I met my current GF 3 months ago I was single for over a year but that's because I wanted to be and liked playing the field. Plus I never found that one girl I wanted to be in a relationship with
As for it being a "female only phenomenon" I don't believe that because I have myself as an example. However from what Ive seen in my life and noticed the majority of the time women are single it's because they're single by choice. Pretty much all of my single female friends and acquaintances could get a man easily if they wanted to, they just chose at that moment to not date(focus on career/school etc). Most of the single men I've known or have heard of are single because they just can't get dates, and I mean single over a long period of time months/years etc..
Theres More women voluntarily taking themselves out of the dating game then guys do
If I ever chose to be single for extended periods of time, it normally has nothing to do with the ending of the previous relationship and everything to do with me wanting to focus my time and energy elsewhere (besides men/dating).
Hence choosing to be single currently to focus on grad school and my job.
Last edited by findly185; 05-08-2013 at 06:34 AM..
But now I am curious to hear from people of all genders -- have you done this? Why or why not?
Certainly. When I split up with my ex-husband, my son was 5. Being a working single mom left no time nor desire to date. Once my son reached an age (12) where I felt it was appropriate to do so, I started dating. My son was my priority (still is for that matter!) and I have never ever regretted my choices for a second.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I'm big on growth.
