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What was I thinking, I was upset! What could I have done, other than what I did, which was tell her i feel uncomfortable about that, and then felt uncomfortable about the whole trip?
What could you have done? You can't think of anything? REALLY???
You could have told her to postpone the trip until you could go with her, and that you'd love to visit her family, and have a vacation in CA with her. You could have told her that you consider her plans to stay with a single guy who's sexually interested in her a breach of the marriage, and that it's not acceptable.
btw, she told you about it, because she was trying to pretend she was being upfront with you.
However, what's done is done, so you can do now what you should have done before, which is put your foot down and insist the two of you go to couples' counseling. Get firm, get decisive, and get real.
You should tell her "if you go stay with this SINGLE GUY WHO WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, we get divorced". Every jury in the world would 100% understand your reasons, dont worry.
why should a married person do this things is beyond me.
Why people feel the need to get married is also beyond me.
You should tell her "if you go stay with this SINGLE GUY WHO WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, we get divorced". Every jury in the world would 100% understand your reasons, dont worry.
why should a married person do this things is beyond me.
Why people feel the need to get married is also beyond me.
How can you stop a adult from doing something, other than ask them not to?
By creating a scene. Let her know how you really felt about it. Not just "I'm uncomfortable with that ,dear", but "WHAT??! You want to WHAT?! With WHOM?? Are you SERIOUS?? That is NOT OK! In fact, it's not even ok that you're maintaining contact with this guy! What's this all about, anyway, if you don't even find him attractive? We are going to talk about this NOW!"
By creating a scene. Let her know how you really felt about it. Not just "I'm uncomfortable with that ,dear", but "WHAT??! You want to WHAT?! With WHOM?? Are you SERIOUS?? That is NOT OK! In fact, it's not even ok that you're maintaining contact with this guy! What's this all about, anyway, if you don't even find him attractive? We are going to talk about this NOW!"
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Good advice. He should act outraged. She is asking for it.
Take a stand. Let her know this is absolutely NOT OK. She's doing this because she thinks she can get away with it.
Her response will tell you all you need to know.
This.
The fact that it made you very uncomfortable should have been enough for her to stay someplace else.
While you cannot make an adult do or not do something they don't want to do, or want to do, you do have to draw your line in the sand and offer up consequences. If I had a spouse who wanted to stay overnight in another state with a single opposite sex friend my spidy sense would be off the charts.
What could you have done? You can't think of anything? REALLY???
You could have told her to postpone the trip until you could go with her, and that you'd love to visit her family, and have a vacation in CA with her. You could have told her that you consider her plans to stay with a single guy who's sexually interested in her a breach of the marriage, and that it's not acceptable.
btw, she told you about it, because she was trying to pretend she was being upfront with you.
However, what's done is done, so you can do now what you should have done before, which is put your foot down and insist the two of you go to couples' counseling. Get firm, get decisive, and get real.
Good luck. Let us know what happens.
Let the church rise up and say AMEN!
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