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I wonder what would happen if I cut out bisexual women from my acceptable dating list. Heck, being in SF and using okcupid, that would cut out at least half of my potential dates. The hypocrisy amuses me.
Because some women just don't want to date bi guys. And not to be offensive but we all know really why they don't .
"offensive but we all know really why they don't "
Yeah, people seem afraid to even bring it up. Lets see why, real or percieved: Risk of STD transmission. Afraid of being left for a man. Thoughts of her man double dipping or kissing another man(Yuck factor). These are not the same issues as Bi women so many people separate the two. Personally, the yuck factor to me is the same for W/W because they know there reproductive parts.
Usually the people who claim to be the most open minded(I.e. liberals) are usually the biggest hypocrites, biggest racist there are. Just read some of the comments on here, oh we love gays/bi people blah, blah, blah, but then they turn around and state their disdain for bi men.
That's not necessarily the case. I stated a fact about donating blood and bisexual men. Why do you think I might have known this?
Not in my world. But then again, I run in pretty liberal circles, in which there is less of a need to hide. Personally, I've never seen a man who claimed bisexuality when he first came out who did not later self-identify as gay and end up with a man.
The thing about the BNGLs is that they almost always switch to identifying as gay after a few months. Most never carried the bi label for very long. If someone's been out as bi for a couple years then that's probably what they are. I know a lot of bi guys who are 40-50 and married with kids--none of them are out except maybe to some close friends or their spouse. It's more common for kids in their teens and 20s to openly identify as bi now, as the social environment is slightly more accepting than it used to be, despite some types like the ones in this thread. Many guys from previous generations who were bi identified publicly as straight their whole lives. This invisible population is quite large, and you're only contributing to the psychological stress they face by telling them they're 'probably' lying about their sexuality when they try to be honest about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach
There is this new attitude and fashion trend that bi-sexuality is cool and sophisticated...There is really no future in such a life style if you are looking for a future with a mate. If you partake in this modernity - you might have a great and wild party and sex life but you will end up an old loser in the end.
If it's so trendy and fashionable how come so many people in this thread consider it a dealbreaker? How come a lot of actual bi guys keep it a complete secret because they're afraid women will never date them again? There isn't anything trendy about it.
The thing about the BNGLs is that they almost always switch to identifying as gay after a few months. Most never carried the bi label for very long.
This is a complete load of bs. This 45 year old female has been bi for as long as I have been aware. Do you know ANYONE who is or has ever been bi? Or are you making stuff up?
To the OP... my Ex husband was bi (but I am wondering if he's actually gay since all his lovers are men). Anyway, he hid it from me and only told me after we were married. Now I know not all bi-men will cheat anymore than other men, but he did. He reasoned that I was the only woman in his life and therefore he could see men. It was horrible, our marriage was strained, and caused me a lot of pain until we finally divorced. If he told me that was his reasoning before we married, I never would have married him.
I would think hiding something like being bisexual isn't good. Sure, don't open with it in the getting to know you stage--there is no reason for it then, but it should be brought up as part of sexual history before you have sex with someone because it does matter. It might be an advantage to you to keep it a secret, but essentially withholding that is lying and hurtful to someone else and if your relationship gets serious and you end up marrying or whatever, it could come back to ruin a marriage. Better to be honest upfront and let the chips lie where they may (and find a woman who you know will accept that about you instead of trying to trick someone).
This is a complete load of bs. This 45 year old female has been bi for as long as I have been aware. Do you know ANYONE who is or has ever been bi? Or are you making stuff up?
'BNGL' refers to bi now gay later. Someone else made the claim that most bi guys are "bi now, gay later". I was responding to that claim. I was making the counter-point that while there are plenty gay guys out there who will tell you they identified as bi before admitting they were gay, most of them didn't actually carry the label for more than a few months before they caved. My point is that it's disrespectful and prejudiced to call into question the orientation of someone who's been out for quite some time longer than that, because they're probably sincere.
And I'm bi and I've been out for years. I don't know how you could construe my words to mean what you did.
'BNGL' refers to bi now gay later. Someone else made the claim that most bi guys are "bi now, gay later". I was responding to that claim.
Ah. Sorry.
Quote:
I was making the counter-point that while there are plenty gay guys out there who will tell you they identified as bi before admitting they were gay, most of them didn't actually carry the label for more than a few months before they caved. My point is that it's disrespectful and prejudiced to call into question the orientation of someone who's been out for quite some time longer than that, because they're probably sincere.
And I'm bi and I've been out for years. I don't know how you could construe my words to mean what you did.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
To the OP... my Ex husband was bi (but I am wondering if he's actually gay since all his lovers are men). Anyway, he hid it from me and only told me after we were married. Now I know not all bi-men will cheat anymore than other men, but he did. He reasoned that I was the only woman in his life and therefore he could see men. It was horrible, our marriage was strained, and caused me a lot of pain until we finally divorced. If he told me that was his reasoning before we married, I never would have married him.
I would think hiding something like being bisexual isn't good. Sure, don't open with it in the getting to know you stage--there is no reason for it then, but it should be brought up as part of sexual history before you have sex with someone because it does matter. It might be an advantage to you to keep it a secret, but essentially withholding that is lying and hurtful to someone else and if your relationship gets serious and you end up marrying or whatever, it could come back to ruin a marriage. Better to be honest upfront and let the chips lie where they may (and find a woman who you know will accept that about you instead of trying to trick someone).
Like I said, it's a matter of trust. If the bi man thinks he really needs some same-sex lovin' or a bi woman for that matter, that should be raised, but if he thinks he can be monogamous why should his sexual history be pertinent? It's not like most straight people go through every single relationship or screw they've had.
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