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Why does anyone want anything when they're satisfied with anything else?
? If both things are used to meet the same need... well, that's the whole point of my question. Apparently, you only need both if one of them isn't enough. So basically, your SO is not enough to satisfy you sexually if you need/want pornography. Right or wrong, I think it's time that viewers of pornography come to terms with this simple fact.
LOL I think in my case it's also because I got more used to it. I guess I was too horny back then, but now I kinda wish I had more of a sex drive actually.
I spose it's easier to understand why the Victorians were so prudish after all.
Libido can be increased in numerous ways if you really do have an issue with it. Dietry changes, life style changes, physical excercise changes, stress reduction and meditation, meditation and much much more.
It is too easy to make "correlation/causation" errors and just assume that if ones libido is decreasing it must be to do with some factor X - such as porn.
Isn't that what the porn is anyways? Showing how we see sex (or how the porn actors wants to emulate our fantasy).
I.e. A guy with a really long "friend", i-don't-care attitude, without any problems such as premature ejaculations or "can't get it up" is an avatar of who the viewer wants to be. This is why it's crucial to cut out his head.
This is also why passionate sex is exclusively lesbian sex - you either have double joy or you imagine yourself in the place of one of those women, successfully making the other woman to orgasm.
A woman is always willing, you're also so great that you can be pool boy or pizza delivery boy and she is a hot model, married to a rich guy, having a huge estate (and yes, she'll get an orgasm when she just sees your package, then she'll get on her knees when SHE undresses you... and initiate the whole deal). She'll be either as equally or even more aggressive to test all positions and to take charge, often switching during sex, to change power dynamics. A minute before you were in control, then she gets on top and takes charge, then you take control agan, then she takes control, etc. *You're still the one dominating the whole intercourse because she moans in orgasms while you're so cool that you can go on in joy - "you're doing it right" and she's going to be addicted to your super skills*
This thing goes on for so long until she gets exhausted but you're so great that you can go on for a whole day without uttering a single word - thus you need to orgasm yourself in the end, usually over her face, to prove your skills (and she'll like it too). During this whole time she'll be having orgasms the whole time, of course. Then you walk out back to your work, delivering pizza.
Wow. Now I remember why I always felt that porn was such a joke.
Honestly, I totally understand guys wanting to see naked women. Looking at mags, watching the occasional soft-porn movie. It's the whole internet-in-your-face crap that I think is disgusting. Totally NOT into it.
Why do I want to go to the movie house and watch a movie if I have an otherwise full and interesting life? Unless I am bored with my life why would I need/want to fill my time in this way? It is simply because I _want_ to do so - and that is reason enough.
Good analogy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin
Porn is (for most people) nothing more than the salad before the main meal. I can have a good salad and still enjoy a great dinner.
Desert is even better.
Also a good analogy. I'd say you could also look at it as a snack between meals. Too much of it could spoil your dinner, but it can help keep you going and add variety to your diet if you're not going to be having a meal for awhile.
and if either of those opinions are true, the pornography viewer shouldn't be entertaining these ideas in the first place.
Nonsense. Just because someone will not do X with you is no reason to think you have to purge X from your mind entirely. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a healthy internal fantasy life. It is if/how those fantasies manifest in the real world that counts.
I - for example - have things in my internal fantasy life that not only will never happen in reality - in some cases I would not even WANT them to happen in reality. They are for internal fantasy only and I have no desire - not even a small one - to realise them in reality.
This idea that you should only have in your head what your partner(s) want to do in reality is just a nonsense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
refuse to do things they probably should consider doing
There is no "should" about it. There is nothing in sex that anyone "should" be doing or consider doing. What each person _wants_ to do is as individual as they are - with no rules of "should" about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
But I suspect that the vast majority of pornography viewers don't even try to make their SO "enough"; that's what I don't understand.
No what you do not seem to understand is actually something else. You do not understand that it has nothing to do with "enough". You can be intellectually stimulated "enough" at home and still want to go see a movie. You can be fed "Enough" at home and still fancy a mars bar when you are in the shop.
You seem to want to picture this like filling the gas tank on your car. If you put "enough" in then no more will go in. It is 0/1 on/off to you and it just doe not work that way. Everything can be hunky dory and satisfying and you still _want_ to do something else/more.
Nonsense. Just because someone will not do X with you is no reason to think you have to purge X from your mind entirely.
That's not what I said. I said you should not entertain the fantasy of these behaviors if the premise that X is either degrading or risky sexual behavior is true.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
There is no "should" about it.
Well I think that pretty much closes our conversation, monumentus. Don't you? We'll never see eye to eye on this if we don't even agree on the basic principle some things are justified and others aren't.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
Libido can be increased in numerous ways if you really do have an issue with it. Dietry changes, life style changes, physical excercise changes, stress reduction and meditation, meditation and much much more.
It is too easy to make "correlation/causation" errors and just assume that if ones libido is decreasing it must be to do with some factor X - such as porn.
No I don't blame porn for it, there are deeper psychological and possibly physical reasons for my problem, but I have noticed over time porn turns me on less and less. I often find myself get bored of it these days actually.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Well obviously. Otherwise, I wouldn't have a problem with it
But that's just it. Men/women wouldn't be expecting things that the average woman/man won't do if they didn't watch pornography or share these details in public forums, etc. I mean, without knowing what "things" we're referring to, my default guess would be there's a reason your SO won't do it. They consider it degrading, risky behavior, etc. and if either of those opinions are true, the pornography viewer shouldn't be entertaining these ideas in the first place. Sure, there are some sexually "rigid" men and women out there (for lack of a better word) who refuse to do things they probably should consider doing, but that's why you discuss these things before getting in a committed relationship with them. And I would think men and women can pick up on the sort of rigidity that would be opposed to oral sex in general, for example, while they're dating.
Well, if pornography can do the trick, so can a picture/video (or perhaps just a memory) of a sexual encounter with your SO or them naked, etc. If they're worried the picture/video may fall into the wrong hands, they can keep their face out of the shot. Now if they're just not cooperating, and a picture of them clothed in conjunction with a memory of sexual encounters with them isn't enough for you, you make it understood you'll be turning to pornography. At least you know you tried.
But I suspect that the vast majority of pornography viewers don't even try to make their SO "enough"; that's what I don't understand.
Well I think the easy availability of porn is one factor that comes into play here. People will get what they can get.
Essentially it is. "Not entertaining the fantasy" is much the same as simply purging it from your head. One can entertain any fantasy one wants. There is nothing wrong with that. What one should not entertain is the notion that your partner has to engage in it just because you want them to.
There is nothing wrong with entertaining fantasy however. Even if those fantasies are immoral or even illegal. What goes on in your head and what you do in the "real world" are two diferent things and in many cases should stay that way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Well I think that pretty much closes our conversation, monumentus.
You can withdraw whenever you wish. It has nothing to do with me. I reply when I can/want - and do not when I can not / do not want. Simple as. No one is forcing you to reply to my replies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
if we don't even agree on the basic principle some things are justified and others aren't.
I do agree that some things are justified in this world and some are not. Just not the same things as YOU seem to. You act as if people "should" consider doing some things. There is no "should" here. They should consider doing - or engage in doing - only what THEY want to. Not what YOU want them to.
No I don't blame porn for it, there are deeper psychological and possibly physical reasons for my problem, but I have noticed over time porn turns me on less and less. I often find myself get bored of it these days actually.
Maybe you do not blame it - but others would - happily - and my reply to you is as much for their sake as yours.
This does not automaticallay have anything to do with porn. It might not be connected at all. Just because you watch porn and are becoming desensitized to it does not mean it is the porn doing that desensitizing. That is - as I said - a correlation/causation error. The roots of it could be any number of things. Including simply age.
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