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Old 05-13-2013, 08:10 AM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,289,027 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
I'm saying the relationship should meet this need. If you have to turn to pornography to be fully satisfied, you might as well just call your SO a friend/roommate because apparently they're not cutting it in your mind as a significant other... quite obviously, because they're no more "significant" than a friend with benefits.



Oh, pornography doesn't have to become something one needs to get off to be unhealthy. There is a ton of evidence against pornography, both in terms of addiction and other sorts of harm. I didn't plan on getting into all that with you, however. I'm just curious as to why a man who supposedly loves the woman he's with... needs someone else to satisfy him sexually. It may not be the entire point of a healthy romantic relationship, but it is what sets it apart from just a really good friendship.
And if you are in a relationship with someone who due to distance or scheduling you see rather infrequently? You're just supposed to ignore the urge until you see them because you are in a relationship?

 
Old 05-13-2013, 08:19 AM
 
Location: TX
6,486 posts, read 6,371,847 times
Reputation: 2628
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
And if you are in a relationship with someone who due to distance or scheduling you see rather infrequently? You're just supposed to ignore the urge until you see them because you are in a relationship?
I would get a picture of my wife to masturbate to...? What would be the difference except that this way, I would be thinking about having sex with someone I actually should be thinking about having sex with?
 
Old 05-13-2013, 08:26 AM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,289,027 times
Reputation: 5372
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
I would get a picture of my wife to masturbate to...? What would be the difference except that this way, I would be thinking about having sex with someone I actually should be thinking about having sex with?
Hmmm, when I watch porn I am normally never imaging having sex with the person in the vid. It's to initiate arousal. Sure, If I managed to obtain a completely nude pic of my bf, that would be good, but most guys aren't sending me full frontal shots for my viewing pleasure. Plus it would be kind of static-I have no desire to look at stills (yawn).
 
Old 05-13-2013, 08:54 AM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,715,235 times
Reputation: 20394
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Hmmm, when I watch porn I am normally never imaging having sex with the person in the vid. It's to initiate arousal. Sure, If I managed to obtain a completely nude pic of my bf, that would be good, but most guys aren't sending me full frontal shots for my viewing pleasure. Plus it would be kind of static-I have no desire to look at stills (yawn).
I concur. I look at porn for the effect it has, that is it turns me on. I have no interest in the actual people in the video at all. I highly doubt many men are looking at porn for any other reason than the turn on factor. Can you imagine them sitting there saying "I really want to date this woman/women, omg I think I'm falling in love".
 
Old 05-13-2013, 09:47 AM
 
8,012 posts, read 8,186,123 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
I concur. I look at porn for the effect it has, that is it turns me on. I have no interest in the actual people in the video at all. I highly doubt many men are looking at porn for any other reason than the turn on factor. Can you imagine them sitting there saying "I really want to date this woman/women, omg I think I'm falling in love".
So true. This whole thing is really a non issue. The amount of men that would choose porn over real flesh and blood women is miniscule and isn't even worth a thought. The real issue here is that some people don't like porn and instead of just leaving it at that, they will find any BS excuse in the book to demonize it.
 
Old 05-13-2013, 09:51 AM
 
8,012 posts, read 8,186,123 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BKSnook View Post
Masturbating and masturbating to internet porn physically and mentally desensitizes men.

If you're a single man and you want to sleep with more women, stop masturbating.

Finding a woman to have s*x with and reproducing is the single most innate biological drive we have.

By touching yourself, you are killing and depleting this drive. You're ridding yourself of sexual energy, your mojo.

Withdraw from touching yourself for a few days. Then a week. If you can make it that far, withdraw for a whole month. Women will feel your sexual energy from 20 feet away.
And why do you think guys masturbate to begin with? You guys just don't get it and never will. Some guys can't get girls whether they're jacking off or not. To be quite blunt, this whole" masturbating is the reason you can't find a GF" idea is stupid.
 
Old 05-13-2013, 09:52 AM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,151,745 times
Reputation: 13485
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyle43 View Post
Wouldn't this just make them sexually independent men who don't need a woman for anything?
If you are incapable of getting an erection, as noted in the OP, due to your porn usage then that simply makes you incapable of being sexually intimate with another human being. I say who cares.
 
Old 05-13-2013, 09:57 AM
 
Location: DFW
40,936 posts, read 49,025,568 times
Reputation: 54962
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
So true. This whole thing is really a non issue. The amount of men that would choose porn over real flesh and blood women is miniscule and isn't even worth a thought.
We'll there is this new laptop accessory that plugs in your USB port and syncs to the Porn you're watching.

It has a volume control like my speakers and I find it very relaxing.

If I could just get it to make me a sandwich afterwards I'd be in heaven.
 
Old 05-13-2013, 10:04 AM
 
Location: TX
6,486 posts, read 6,371,847 times
Reputation: 2628
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Hmmm, when I watch porn I am normally never imaging having sex with the person in the vid. It's to initiate arousal.
"Normally never"? And "to initiate arousal"? So what are you doing, just sitting there bored and you say to yourself, "I want to be aroused so I can then masturbate?" That's... interesting...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
I concur. I look at porn for the effect it has, that is it turns me on. I have no interest in the actual people in the video at all. I highly doubt many men are looking at porn for any other reason than the turn on factor. Can you imagine them sitting there saying "I really want to date this woman/women, omg I think I'm falling in love".
No offense, Djuna. But it doesn't sound like you understand men at all. True enough that a man's not going to say all that and especially not on a conscious level. But there's a reason why there's so much porn in which the woman gazes into the camera seductively and the guy involved in the sexual encounter is holding the camera. (And yes, before you ask, I know this because I used to watch it when I was single. I don't agree to that either, but it's better than watching it when you're coupled.) IME, the "turn-on" comes before the idea to watch pornography. Maybe men and women are different along these lines.

Follow-up question for you and findly185: If it's just to initiate arousal... does that mean you turn it off once you're aroused?

Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Sure, If I managed to obtain a completely nude pic of my bf, that would be good,
...I would rather masturbate to a picture of my wife fully clothed (or a memory of a sexual encounter with her, what she looks like naked, etc.; that's what works best for me) than to a picture of a naked stranger. And maybe you think I'm just trying to look good; that's not the case. I honestly prefer to turn to my wife to meet my sexual needs whenever and however possible than to resort to a stranger in any measure. It makes more sense in the grand scheme of things.

Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
but most guys aren't sending me full frontal shots for my viewing pleasure.
Meaning your bf won't? Well the only reasons I can think of for a guy to not do this include:

1. He doesn't trust you with it, which would mean you have bigger problems.
2. He doesn't trust the method of sending (texting, email, etc.) in which case he could cut out his face and/or just download it to your phone or you could take it yourself next time you're together.
3. He's insecure about how he looks, which I posit your looking at other men naked wouldn't help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Plus it would be kind of static-I have no desire to look at stills (yawn).
So he could make it a video. This is starting to feel like you're just making excuses.
 
Old 05-13-2013, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
2,186 posts, read 2,913,647 times
Reputation: 1807
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
I didn't plan on getting into all that with you, however.
Next time you may wish to go with that initial instinct. You appear to be way out of your depth here.
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