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1) Does a divorce cost the person who files more money than the other party? (because, for example, they're the one whose lawyer has to start the process, draw up initial documents, and who is on the clock before the papers have even been filed.....and the other party just needs to get a lawyer to respond which could cost less.
2) Is the person who files at any kind of disadvantage at all with negotiating alimony and child support because they're the one who initiating the process to "break the marriage bond."
The man is at a disadvantage regardless of who files, that is why 70% of divorces are filed by women. If they are unhappy they just file because there are no other consequences to doing so. If a man is unhappy he is more likely to just stay unhappy because he will end up paying in the end.
The man is at a disadvantage regardless of who files, that is why 70% of divorces are filed by women. If they are unhappy they just file because there are no other consequences to doing so. If a man is unhappy he is more likely to just stay unhappy because he will end up paying in the end.
Yep.
The cost of divorce:
House (you get to still pay the mortgage while she lives in it though)
Cars
Divorce Lawyers
Child Support
Half of your savings and future paychecks
Homelessness if you can't afford an apartment after everything is taken out of your paycheck.
Jail if you can't afford the child support payments.
Divorce can be pretty cheap if you both completely agree on all aspects of the divorce, how the possesstions and assets are split up, who get custodial custody of the children etc. If you do not agree then it gets more complicated. In my divorce my ex had an attorney and I could not afford one. I qualified for fee waivers in filing my documents, in other words I didn't have to pay any filing fees. Our divorce last a loooong time, close to a year. I am sure my ex paid at least $5,000 for his legal costs, where I paid almost nothing. It was extremely stressful and I would never want to go through that again. No sooner was I done with the divorce and my husband began a child custoday battle, so on it went. It doesn't really matter who filed first, other than the person that files first gets to present their case in court first. It is the judge that decides any child support or alimony and the laws with that differ from state to state.
It varies considerably from state to state. Check your state's legal code... it's probably online somewhere. In my state, the cost for filing is $300 per party, and there is no priority or prejudice against the person filing or the person against whom the filing occurs.
All cynicism aside, the real cost isn't in the fees (to the lawyers or to the jurisdiction), but in breakup of assets. Obviously, "amicable" is the preferred route, but even then the loss of assets can be prodigious.
if you have a "no contest" divorce , you agree on the asset split, you may not need a lawyer-you can go to a district courthouse and pick up the paperwork, a divorce packet..
i think my divorce cost 700 15 yrs ago- i hired a lawyer, just so the decree was filed and things were legal- but we had agreed on the assets
remember, lawyers get paid on billable hours- you may want it done and over with, but with lawyers- the more its dragged out-the more they get paid
if each has a lawyer, then you are set up for a war....and its very costly
you can go to a mediator for asset allocations- much cheaper than a lawyer
different states have different laws..
also keep in mind, if you have your name on a mortgage and the other keeps the house- you are still responsible for that mortgage- this all has to be hashed out
alot of resources online- look it up- try to find someone local that has recently done this on their own, and ask questions.
I told my lawyer-this is exactly what i want you to do-and she did it, with minimal hrs
but i was very fair with my x-most spouses are highly emotional, so they dig there own hole,,,because they cant agree on the asset split
but also, ive seen people get screwed because "they just want it over with" -
if a woman with kids-dont move out of the house-unless you are being abused- if the guy was cheating, on his family- then he should move out- if he makes a good wage and she doesnt , because she's been the mother-primary caretaker- then ...dont run away from alimony
you can talk to a lawyer for one hour- then go from there-see where you stand
House (you get to still pay the mortgage while she lives in it though)
Cars
Divorce Lawyers
Child Support
Half of your savings and future paychecks
Homelessness if you can't afford an apartment after everything is taken out of your paycheck.
Jail if you can't afford the child support payments.
So men have all of this to look forward to.
Rent, don't have children, and have your own car.
My divorce was quick, easy, and cheap. The divorce itself was around $100.00, no lawyers involved. However, I picked up an extra 2K in debt but that's another story.
Even better yet - don't get married unless you are a young couple that wants a family and close to 100% sure you all are going to make it.
Divorce can be pretty cheap if you both completely agree on all aspects of the divorce, how the possesstions and assets are split up, who get custodial custody of the children etc. If you do not agree then it gets more complicated. In my divorce my ex had an attorney and I could not afford one. I qualified for fee waivers in filing my documents, in other words I didn't have to pay any filing fees. Our divorce last a loooong time, close to a year. I am sure my ex paid at least $5,000 for his legal costs, where I paid almost nothing. It was extremely stressful and I would never want to go through that again. No sooner was I done with the divorce and my husband began a child custoday battle, so on it went. It doesn't really matter who filed first, other than the person that files first gets to present their case in court first. It is the judge that decides any child support or alimony and the laws with that differ from state to state.
Indeed. I dodged a bullet on that. Living in Maryland had a lot to do with it.
My brother who lived in Virginia did not do well in that at all. Even though they did not have young children his lazy ex screwed him big time.
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